Attention Metrophobics

"Does the thought of poetry make you nauseous? Does it trigger a dry mouth and clammy hands? Does your heart feel like it’s going to pound right out of your chest? Do your legs turn to rubber bands?" If so, help is on the way. For only $147 you can get a Home Study program of CDs and a Work Book or if you prefer, for the paltry sum of $2497 you can get one-on-one Private Sessions with Board-Certified Specialist to help you eliminate your underlying fear. This according an internet site that can be found here.


I’m so glad there is hope for people suffering from metrophobia. It seems there are so many metrophobics out there. Some of my own family may be metrophobic. This of course causes me to wonder why or how I escaped the condition? Is there a genetic predisposition towards this condition? If so, perhaps we can isolate the gene that controls our poetic responses and tweak it a bit to make poetry a little more palatable. Of course, if such therapy became possible, poetic gene therapy could put the previously mentioned site out of business.