Speculation

In bony avoidance I hide
from the possible. Still
my mind is well aware
of what it prefers not

to accept. Would be surrender,
disappointment to the indifference
that might be expected of me.

There is always the possibility
just as there is the what if I had
done differently. What ifs

are lame excuses for the afterlife.
They add nothing to the internal
discussion we have with our self.

Such speculations is cowardice
behind closed eyes. If I must,
speculate by poking out my eyes.