Feeling A Tad Bit Overwhelmed - RECOMMENDED READING

This post by Kelli Agodon is highly recommended  ~ Book of Kells: Confession Tuesday on Thursday: The Swamped Edition (Or How to Stop Being an Overwhelmed Swamp Monster)Sel

Confession Tuesday on Wednesday - Bad Habit Edition

This is getting to be embarrassing. It's been one week since my last confession (which was a day late) and here I am again.

Forgive me readers:

Yes it's been a week but I could swear it should be longer so I have even less excuse. I confess I firmly believe it should be Friday. When you think about it that is pretty pathetic since I had a Monday holiday. That on top of a week's vacation!

Travel is tiring to me so the vacation was a bit draining. I confess I love flying but  everything else with travel, time zone changes, the hurry here and hurry there, these things try my patience.

I confess that I am ready to send out some new material this weekend when I do Submission Saturday.It always excites me when I have new material to send out. Still, I can't help it, I worry that I should have tinkered with it longer as soon as it drops into the mailbox or I hit the send button.

I confess I still have dirty clothes from the trip and I need to do laundry tonight.

I confess that I need to get up and let the dogs out as they are looking at me in a most perturbed manor.

Until next week - may all your habits be good ones!

Journal Bits - May

A sampling for me journal this month...

May 2nd - This morning traffic snarled but couldn't keep me away. I arrived in time to resent being here, to resist the start of the day without success.

May 6th - The weekend was uniquely positive in terms of writing...  Three poems accepted for publication within 48 hours is so exciting and unfortunately sets a new bar that I'm sure I will not often reach again - but there is hope like the stars, I can look from the distance and dream.

May 7th - If the sun sets today on my life/I will not disappoint the cartographer/for my journey will be one that is not/subterranean but rallies around/dancing light and open byways.

May 9th - two books in the mail today from Martha Silano - her own The Little Office Of The Immaculate Conception and Radial Symmetry by Katherine Larson. Woot!

May 10th - I tend to isolate things like bird songs/or the lessor popped kernels of corn./Or things my wife says with special emphasis/on the details detached from major points.

May 12th - yesterday I thought a workshop to eight writers... then in the evening I sent out three poems.

Time has been unfriendly to me and I left my sanity in the midst of a new operating system on a computer that is pounding the blood vessels against a phantom anvil inside my head.

May 22nd - In Tempe, AZ for Meghan's wedding - It's been a lazy sort of day... I've finished a poem draft today and got some reading done. Trying to be open to another poem coming to me....

May 23rd  - The bubble wrap is gone/the thing now is just/boxed delight - fragile.

Confession Tuesday - Late

Dear Reader:

It's been a grueling week and a day since my last confession.

I confess the obvious.... I'm a day late.

I'm on vacation - day three now but it hardly seems like it.  I confess that I traveled 1,354 miles more or less to arrive at my destination (Phoenix) yesterday and I am wiped out. I feel as if I could have flapped my arms to get here rather than by jet. Some of that is because my last week at the office was an intense one trying the leave less on the burner for others to deal with and make my return less stressful as well. I confess the latter never seems to work.

The flight on Southwest wasn't too bad. Only a little turbulence in the early going and I expected it given the turbulent weather in the Midwest these past few days. I haven't flown in a while and I generally enjoy it. When I fly I confess I'm a window hog.

I took a brief swim this morning and it did loosen up the stiff mussels. I confess I really am going to need a nap today. I do have some quiet time available for writing and I intend to make use of it.

We are here for my daughter's wedding and I confess that that I am both excited and anxious about it. I'm very happy for her and I want her wedding day to come off perfect. I confess I'm not sure what that would look like, but I have ideas about what it might not look like. I realized they rarely are picture perfect but  I want her memories of it the be good ones. Happy ones. Lots of friends and good time.

I confess I love the scenery in Arizona but hate the heat. How people live here I cannot imagine.

I confess I had diet coke withdrawal earlier but I'm halfway through a 44 oz and doing better now.

My prayers have continued to flow for the people in Moore, Oklahoma. I can only imagine how hard it must be for those homeless there now not to mention families that have lost loved ones.

This morning my cell rang and it was our disposal company with a message that trash pickup next week would be pushed back a day due to the memorial day holiday. Even during vacation, life goes on.

Submission Saturday Starts in 30 Minutes

I've got to shift some files from one laptop to the other or work from my old laptop to do submission Saturday today. Yes, that  ads a layer of work moving stuff, and maybe I'll just use the today to complete this weeks submissions. Still, I do need to get some stuff moved.

It sucks when you have work out that is waiting someplace you'd like to see if  find a home and don't want it to submit it any place else till you here back.  I do a lot of simultaneous submissions but there are pieces that I really want to control more where they might end up. Getting picky I guess.

Confession Tuesday - Busy Week Edition

Dear Reader-

It's been two weeks, three poems accepted, one new laptop and a poetry workshop since my last confession.

I confess that I have this mysterious pain that comes and goes just below my  right waste-line. It's been doing this off and on for a while now and I've gone to the doctor they can offer no explanation so far. Labs are fine, no bladder infection, x-rays show nothing extraordinary. Sometimes I'll go a while with nothing and then the pain can be bad enough to keep me awake parts of the night. It's good to know some of the things that have been ruled out but it remains frustrating just the same.writers

Saturday morning when the sky was bright with invitation I was conducting a poetry writing seminar with 8 writers who could be out soaking up the sun rays but were instead sitting around tables doing writing prompts for three hours. I confess that I was appreciative to have such an attentive group to work with.

My new laptop is an ASUS & it has windows 8 operating system on it. I have been a Tashiba user for  a long time. I did not pick this one out. My wife and computer savvy daughter did. Windows 8 dealt me a fit the first two days. It's still not my favorite platform but I am getting the hang of it.

It's been a pretty good week... And I've had three new poetry books delivered by the postman since the weekend you can't get much better then that.

Poem Up On Punchnel's

My poem titles "Both" appears on Punchnel's today. This is a really interesting venue, an eclectic collection of material. Check it out!  Oh, and click here for my poem.

Feel Good Delivered By E-Mail

It's been an exceptionally good weekend for me with two different venues accepting a total of three poems. I think from now on I'd like my acceptances in bunches please.

I know we can't always have what we want but  it really feels good to get several poems accepted over two days as opposed to several rejection letters over two days.

This is just another example of my Submission Saturday venture paying dividends.

Worked on some re-writes today. I'm trying to put together about three more pieces that need some fine tuning so that they can be ready  for prime time too.

Confession Tuesday - feeling life edition...

Tuesday again! Come along to the confessional...

Dear Reader:

It's been a week since my last last confession. Much of that confession dealt with a death watch for my mother-in-law. She has since passed and we put her to rest in a funeral service yesterday. This turned my weekend into a three day weekend and I confess I believe we all in this household were worn down by the weeks leading up to this. 

I confess that the service was short but nice. The weather preformed perfectly and it added an uplifting element.  But this is now past. Life goes on.

I confess that  the "life" part of that is what I want to focus on. I confess too that I want to feel life more deeply. I want not to miss any part of it. I want to be passionate about life. I want to see more art in life, sing more songs and read more lines of poetry into each minute of the day. 

Praise be to Life!

Amen!

Why Poetry Can be About Anything

"Anything one does every day is important and imposing and anywhere one lives is interesting  and beautiful." - Gertrude Stine

Confession Tuesday - stalking death edition

To the confessional....

Dear reader:

Tuesday night and I've just got home a short while ago. It's been a long-long week since my last confession and I'm ready to get this over with so I can put it behind me and move on and unwind tonight.

My wife used to talk about driving a fast 45 MPH  or a slow 45 MPH. But 45 is 45 right? I guess it's kind of like time. Twenty-four hours is twenty-four hours and yet some days seem like an eternity, and extrapolated a week of those kind of days are like, a week of eternities. My mother-in-law decided to stop dialysis recently and of course the result of that is that the body will finally shut down, death becomes imminent. Her decision has dictated much of the past ten days or so.  My wife has been dutifully at here bedside some of every day. In many instances spending the night with her. I've watched her (my wife) attempt to find some degree of normalcy each day where there is nothing normal. I know this is far more difficult for her then myself, but I confess it's not easy to watch my wife go through this with her.

There have been several times that we thought, or someone would convinces us that it was her time.  Her time has really been taking it's time. I got a call from her today at work and rushed home to run her out there. She had not planned to go out till tonight but they called from the care facility to tell us they though the family should come out. On of here brothers had been there all day and they had been in touch throughout the day.
Oh, and they said they were putting out refreshments for the family. Refreshments?  Really? I confess this seems a little circus like.

We went out and were joined by other family members. Honestly she looked pretty good. Her breathing pace has slowed but she was not breathing labored. She is in a sleep. Some occasional facial expression changes though not many. She once sort of squinted open her eyes. Cathy ended up staying the night (as she had planned) but she and I agree, Mom is not looking like tonight is the night.

There are aspects of our life that seem on hold. Only because of the uncertainty of the end time. Each day is another possibility. I know Cathy hopes it is sooner then later. She has at times asked me to pray that it comes soon. I confess that I feel uneasy with such prayers.

In the meantime, death (a subject that clearly takes me outside my comfort zone) seems to dominate my day and night and I have no control over it.

  

Submission Saturday

It's been a morning of submission. Normally I submissive to the publication Gods in the afternoon on Saturdays but I did a morning gig today and it feels good to have it over with.

One rejection letter so far this week. It was a journal I had not tried before.

I have a poem that I am nearly ready to move out of the draft garage this week and park it with the other work that I submit from.  I've got several    drafts that are keepers that are approaching that same nearly ready for prime time status but I don't like to push these along too fast as much as I'd like to.  I have I've always believed in that I've sent to several journals without success and I am thinking of messing around with it some more to see if I can get a new perspective on it before I send it out again.

Confession Tuesday - petty anger edition

Dear Reader:

I confess that I did  not confess last Tuesday and I don't remember for sure why - except that it has been a crazy time these past  week to 10 days and if I would pick most any night last week I could tell you with certainty I was exhausted and on low function by the time I got home most evenings.

I finished off a journal, switched out the copy with a refill from my journal binder yesterday. I confess a brand new journal refill always leaves me feeling fresh and hopeful. I'm weird that way. I guess my hope is that the new journal will have smoother flowing hand writing, less crossed out or scribbled things, and perhaps more interesting writing in it. See how naive I can be?

Sooner or later it was bound to happen... I fell off the NaPoWriMo wagon this week. THIS is why I don't like doing it. This is the same reason I dislike New Years resolutions. What part of doomed do people (me) not get?  I am however going to move forward writing a poem today and hope that over the next week I can catch up and finish out the month with 30 poem drafts. No promises though...

This morning my wife dropped me off at work and kept the car so that she could drive out an check o her mother in the nursing home. I saw that someone was in my designated parking spot in the lot. I have to tell you that I was angry about this, even though I was not going to need the spot today. Sitting at my desk, I was fuming about it until I started feeling petty about it. Then I confess that I rationalized that the driver (who has been warned this is designated parking) had no idea that I would not be driving today and still had the nerve to take the spot. But then I felt petty again.

The Tax Culture & Finding a Little Happiness

I did my taxes last night. The past two years I've gotten them done early but the important thing is they are finished and filed two days before the deadline. It's that deadline that I'm writing about today.

April 15th is a day the tends to resonate in the mind of Americans. It's a date that's particularly memorable to us. Ask a married couple what day he/or she proposed and they often won't know right off. What day is Tax Day? April 15. Bang... right away they know the answer.

In American culture taxes have become tied to death as two things you can't get out of. It's no wonder April 15 has become such a dreaded but easily remembered day. In recent years various businesses have played on this trying to evoke some cheer and pleasure in the lives of ordinary people by offering give-a-ways... food and other items of cheer.

This year I've searched for some of the Tax Day Perks and found some interesting things.

• Between 6PM and 8PM stop by participating Cinnabon  bakeries and get free Cinnabon bites.  A little sweet to make you smile. 
• Arby's offers curly fries & potato cakes all day Tax Day with coupon. This is their third annual give-a-way & what's better on such a day then comfort food? 
• Office Depot will do up to 5 lbs of shredding for free with coupon on Tax Day
• Get a Tax Day Rib-bate for 2 for $10.40 
• White Castle - 15% off entire purchase on Tax Day with coupon.
• Free HydroMassage on Tax Day through April 19 with  coupon..
• Sorry, this was for early filers but In LA and San Francisco you could get a "brand new" Trojan Vibrator while supplies last on Thursday and Friday. (Glad they were new). Anyway, this stimulus package may be the most innovative yet.  

So if you are feeling blue, and your pockets are now empty, you can find a few ways to pick yourself up after you've paid your taxes. 

Thought for the Day

The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. ~ Paul Valery

Heard any good Metaphors?

"Metaphor sleeps around." ~ Alfred Corn 

Celebrating Poetry

While National Poetry Month is relatively new I will share a like to The Academy of American Poets web site where they feature a list of 30 WAYS TO CELEBRATE. I'm sure everyone can find as couple of ideas on now to make this month one of enrichment for themselves and others.

Meanwhile I've completed poem #3 on the third day of NaPoWriMo so I've not fallen off the wagon yet. (fingers crossed)

Recalling Dana Gioia's book of essays, "Can Poetry Matter?" I give you the following link to a Chicago Tribune story on Maj.General John Borling who writes poetry of survival.

Have you written or shared a poem today?

Confession Tuesday - Poet Crush List Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been  one Giants Baseball regular season game, 6 & a half innings of another, one NaPoWriMo poem and  one one week since my last confession. 

April is that cruel month when some of us inflict the agony of 30 poems in 30 days on ourselves. I confess that I've stepped knee deep into this madness again this year. Some years I avoid the pressure and other times I just plunge right in. This is a plunge year.

This month being National Poetry month I though it would be a good time to update my Poet Crush List. I started doing this some time back and I believe the last time I did it was like May of last year. So almost a year and being April I thought it would be a good time to revisit the Crush List and revise it. As writers, we are supposed to be all about revision  aren't we? 

So my Poet Crush list is comprised of ten  living poets. If I would do this three or four times a year it would likely  fluctuate back and forth like undulating waves coming ashore sometimes what's left behind is familiar and sometimes it's new. With that in mind I will give you the new list and my last list. 

NEW LIST  - April 2013 
I Confess these poets rock my world!!!

1. Mary Biddinger
2. Dean Young
3. John Ashbery
4. Denise Duhamel (new to List)
5. Kelli Russell Agodon
6. Stephen Dunn (new to list)
7. Sharon Olds
8. Natasha D. Tretheway (new to List)
9. Diane Ackerman (new to List)
10. W. S. Merwin

PREVIOUS LIST - May 2012

I Confess these poets rocked my world last May

1. W. S. Merwin
2. James Richardson
3. Sharon Olds
4. Kelli Russell Agodon
5. Dean Young
6. John Ashbery
7. Mary Biddinger
8. Ada Limon
9. Charles Simic
10. Beth Ann Fennelly

Later this week, what makes these poets special...

Amen!

WALL TO WALL POETRY - NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

It's National Poetry Month and NaPoWriMo month as well. I typically struggle about committing to NaPoWriMo as I have a sort of love/hate relationship with it.  I don't really care for the pressure to create because I feel that it conflicts with the best physical and mental dynamic for good writing. I have no problem writing daily and I strongly believe in it. But saying I'm writing a poem every day of the month is a lot of pressure.

There are days it comes easy. There are days & nights that it's tough to birth a poem no matter how hard you try. I consider these all poem drafts because rarely do I ever write a poem in a single setting. I generally try to get something that shows enough promise to be a keeper - something that can be improved over time. But for the sake of NaPaWriMo, these are poems in the most primitive context.

If after 30 days I have 30 poems and 6 or 8 are real keepers, then that's an outstanding month. That is the bar I'm setting this year.

I am posting my daily work on a private poetry forum. This gives me some accountability and allows for some feedback but at the same time is is off the beaten path of the Internet so that the work is not truly published and I am free to work on these pieces for possible submissions down the road.

Are you participating?  How do you approach it.?

I intend to be very active on my blog this month.  Tomorrow is my normal day for Confession Tuesday. It's been almost a year since I did my last Poet Crush List. I'll be updating that list as part of my Confession.

Dragonfly

Surround the summit
in flight
in exacerbation of wingspan
a sentinel aloft 

Confession Tuesday

Dear Reader:

It's Tuesday again.. another week since my last confession.

It's been a strange evening. I came home and fixed dinner grabbed a couple books and settled in to read. I confess I still have these books beside me hours later and I've basically been in a TV trance.
Somehow I've managed to settle a lesser form of mental stimulation.  I'm not proud about it.

I was saddened this week by the death of Walt Bodine a long time local radio personality. I think Walt was 92. I confess I used to stay up late listening to his call in program as a young teen. His program was always so eclectic. 

I've has this uncanny mental thing going on where it seems I'm seeing poems in all these different things around me. At least segments of poems. I confess I've  been swishing these thoughts around trying to keep them straight so that I might be able to get these down on paper before they evaporate.

That's it for tonight, wishing you all a great week.

Amen~

Dead Writers Cologne - How can you not be inspired?

Looking for a little  inspiration or maybe the perfect gift for that writer friend?  How could you go wrong with Dead Writer cologne?

I  know you have a puzzled What? look on your face about now but consider according to J.T. Siems, "This blend evokes the feeling  of sitting in an old library chair paging through yellowed copies of Hemingway, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald, Poe and more. The Dead Writers blend makes you want to put on a kettle of black tea and curl up with your favorite book."

Simes is the Seattle brain (or nose) behind this enterprise. It's a unisex blend and it's available here.

*Note this is not and endorsement of the product. I have not tried it but it is curiously intriguing.

Pope Peeps

My wife was searching the web and sent me a link to some items that she though would interest me and bingo, we have a winner! (She knows me well)

What would Easter be without Peeps? I love Peeps - probably not the best thing for diabetics. They do make a sugar free variety these days and they are not bad.

Fortunately for Catholics worldwide, well will not have to go through Easter without a Pope. And as you can see at the left, we has Pope Peeps thanks to The Monkey Cage. They outfitted a whole Papal Conclave of Peeps in red felt Cardinal suites. Is that not a crack-up?

Confession Tuesday - Lazy Edition

Another week has come and gone. Let's go to the confessional.

Dear Reader:

I confess that I'm being lazy tonight. I'm doing this blog post from my phone because I don't want to fire up my laptop.

I confrss that I've slacked off on reading. I have several books started and this psst week have not gotten much further into any of them. I hope to read some tonight when I finish my confession.

I have say that I enjoyed getting reacquainted with Bailey's Sunday. It's been a while since I have indulged in any. I confess I like it a little bit too much.

The past two nights I've had itchy eyes. I went out and bought some eye drops last night but I confess they are again annoying me. Right now i'm so annoyed by them I feel like poking them out. Ok,  not really but obvioudly have had the thought enter my mind.

I don't know what it is but I've read a bunch of really good poems the past few days. These are for the most part from poets new to me. I confess it's strange that so many of them have struck me as especially enjoyable.  Perhaps I will share links to some of them in a blog post later this week.

I confess that's all I have to give tonight. Have a good week...

Amen

An Irish Blessing

May joy and peace surround you,

Contentment latch your door,

And happiness be with you now,

And bless you evermore.

Hey Hey it's Saturday...

 So what's the big deal?

Ok, the big deal is this... I started organizing myself so that I do my submissions on Saturday. I just finished this week's. Yeah!

Last week was the start of this new plan/habit. Maybe it's too early to call it a habit yet, but I have accomplished my planned submissions now two Saturdays in a row. In addition, last Saturday I was an over achiever and submitted someplace in addition to my plan.

Now about the plan. I am trying to plan at least three months in advance. That assures a couple of things. Each quarter of a year I now want I need to do for that period of time. Since I check the reading dates I can make sure I'm getting material to the various Journals and venues that I want to be in and not miss their deadlines or like I've often done, realize on Friday night that a deadline is two or three days away and I've given no thought to what I'd be sending so in the pressure of it all I say, "F it" and just let it pass.  "F it" is a well developed form of procrastination for me.

So you see, this not only affords me better control over my calendar of submissions but it also assures that I have time to explore the best fit for my work. Let's face it, if you don't take the time to explore best options and you just slap together three to five poems and send the out, can you really be surprised when they come back in your face rejected?  If you want an editor to truly take time to consider your work, take some time and be thoughtful about what might be a best fit for the Journal you are submitting to. Are you always going to nail it? No, but it's better then throwing the spaghetti noodles on the wall to see if they stick.

I've said it before, I hate submitting work. I'd rather write then submit. But no one has ever come up to me and said "Hey, give me something, anything and I'll publish it." And if they did, I might not want to be in what they just published.

So from now on, if it's Saturday, It's Submission Saturday! I've actually felt good these past two Saturdays after achieving my submission objective. So maybe I'll start to like this thing. Or, at least not hate it so much.

In both instances I've felt so good when I was finished, since I was at my laptop I just kept on working either with rewrites or starting new stuff.

Confession Tuesday on Wednesday

Dear Reader:

I confess I’m slipping into the confessional late for Confession Tuesday. I see you are already aware I am tardy. In my own defense I was at a poetry group meeting last night.

We did an impromptu write – pulling our prompt from a box passed around. I prompt was to write about my favorite trip or vacation during my teen years. I confess this was really hard because as I thought about it, the most remarkable thing about vacations as a teenager was that they were unremarkable. I got something down on paper but honestly I had to really lower my standards to choose a favorite.

Arriving home last night my wife had not eaten yet. I went out to get us fast food. Later, we were watching TV just before turning in and my daughter who had just come home came in to say good night. My wife asked if anyone had any chocolate for her. I confess that she has been dropping not too settle hints for several days she is craving chocolate and I confess that I’ve been neglectful in appropriately delivering on the chocolate hints. Note to self, don’t home without chocolate tonight!

I confess my body is still rejecting the time change from the weekend. Maybe I’ll get it together by this weekend.

I confess that I've been trying to hold out the past two days from making a call to my chiropractor to see if she could work me in on an emergent basis. I have my regular appointment tonight for adjustment and trigger-points. I see the light in the tunnel.

I confess that I have so many apps on my phone that if I were ever to get stranded in the woods someplace I’d have to immediately dump all my apps to conserve battery until I could be located. 

I confess I have no idea why I was even thinking about the possibility of being lost or stranded someplace.

Amen~

The Mag 159: The Cycle

Meal Beach, Burra Isles, Shetland by Robin Gosnall

Listen to the power.

A clean white foam pushed

from behind by a blue-green hand

then pulled back.

The sand wet,

beach reticent briefly-

then the flapping 

and laughing of disquieted Seagulls

in the distance; then closer

until deafening.  

As the white foam reappears

the gulls circle out to sea

watching, awaiting 

the powerful wall of water 

once again push in 

and take back.

In mocking fashion 

the birds do it all over. 

 

Michael A. Wells

The Mag 159

The Mag 158: All Is Spilled

Photo by TheFoxAndTheRaven

All is spilled

There is nothing more

I romanticize. Not bath

nor sleep. Not the ache 

of empty night. 

The voices are of no comfort.

They press me awake endless hours

Is this an inquisition? 

Must I answer? I am pulverized, 

strained through a cauldron 

of one sided talk-

I look to my wrist

I look for answers

I look, I look...

Michael A. Wells

The Mag 158

  

Talking to Poems

So it's Friday night and what are you doing?

Me, I'm transitioning from Diet Coke to Chardonnay.  I've been working for several hours on a poem and our conversation had grown old and tiring so I've stopped for now.

Do you talk to your poems? Ok, more specifically your poems in progress. Drafts. First drafts, second drafts, twenty third drafts?

My conversation with this evening's poem-in-making has started out asking  a single line where it would like to go. It said take me to the other side of what you just said. So I said ok and abridged. I asked what will we do after we've contradicted our opening line. I go no response. (sipping wine) I don't know about you but when I ask a direct question of a poem-in-making I expect at least that it will clear it's throat and appear to be thinking of a reply. I was about to repeat the question when it said you assume too much.

I'm not sure how I feel about a poem - especially one in the making assuming it knows what I'm assuming. I thought it important at this point to make it clear that I had no preconceived notions about where this poem was going. It quickly shot back, "Good!"

I studied my words on the page.  Flipped a stanza. Cut some words. Another "Good" arose from the page. "You approve then?" I asked. I was told yes, but for the time being. I thought about moving the opening line to another location in the poem. Cautiously I was told that was worth considering, but encouraged to consider too making the opening line the title of the poem instead. I said I'd keep that in mind.

My head is spinning at this point and I suggested that I really thought it might me time to step back and let this all rest upon the page a while. Maybe overnight. There was a sigh...  "No offense, but working with you can be tiring."  I responded, "Oh, you think so?" and I saved the work in progress.

Confession Tuesday

It's Tuesday and I'm moving slowly to the confessional because it's been the kind of day and evening where I'm not to certain it's good to put too much stock in my forward motion. But I'm here so let's get started.

Dear Reader:

I confess that there have been a couple nights this past week where I've come home and pretty much blown off the evening. This is easy to do if I've had a particularly crazy day at work. Actually today would be a good example. A day when you are just beaten down with work and after a full day of it feel you have not made any headway against your work load. It's days like that I come home - do the minimal I need to do, then crash and burn. Don't like it when I'm like this - looking to break from this, find a way to slowly unwind and then do something productive. 

For several years now I have observed the annual anticipation of, the hoop-la and the afterglow of AWP. I must insert for the record that the observation has all been from afar. I've not been to AWP. I've seen people rave about the contact with other writers that they might not have met otherwise. They talk about great panel discussions, swoon over treasure troves of books and of course there are the readings.  Occasionally I have read blog posts or Facebook post from those who start by indicating they are not going to AWP this year and then in some silly and demeaning way poke fun at the conformance. I confess I have chuckled as I have read through some of these pieces, yet I wonder if the writer is not really just using humor to mask disappointment for not being there.  I confess that I'm intrigued by what I have heard of the conformance and     

yes a bit jealous of those attending. 

I confess the return of sunlight after all our snow has been uplifting. I confess that we still have mountains of snow and that the sunlight on it is blinding, but I was going blind from the abundance of white everywhere anyway. 

I confess that I'm ready for Spring. 

Amen.

The Planning Poet

Friday and Saturday I did some writing and was pleased with the progress. Tonight I've taken another route. Tonight I'm the Planning Poet. I've spent time scouring the various venues for publication with concentration on submissions for the next 90 days. I'm identifying who I want to submit to and matching my calendar with their reading periods.

One thing I'm being is realistic. I'm not trying to send work to 10 places in one weekend. First, I want to be able to stay on a steady work schedule. The last thing I want to do is set myself up for failure from the start.

Knowing at the beginning of one week what publication I am focusing on that coming weekend allows me time for quality forethought to each submission package.

I've gone crazy cranking out submissions in the past like all in one weekend and they instantly cold for months. It's no secret, I said it many times before, I dislike the process of submitting work. Still, I'm well aware that it's all part of the process. Unless I'm just going to write and throw all my work in a trunk and forget about it, then I need to get real about my commitment to the whole process.

By the end of May, I'll let you know how this is all working out for me.

Confession Tuesday - Recklessness and Poetry Edition

Welcome to the confessional  - I'm just about to start...

Dear Friends:

It's been a week and maybe 17 inches since my last confession.

I confess that if it's Tuesday, I'm confused. Or Snow Blind, or both!  Confused because due to a big storm that dumped maybe about 11 inches (give or take) on us last Thursday - I ended up with a 4 day weekend when they shut down work.  I go to work Monday but another winter storm advisory for Monday -Tuesday caused them to shut down again today.  The conditions this morning were complicated by a mixture of sleet and snow. It looks like about another 6 inches on top of the previously 11. All of this change in work routine complicates my cognitive view of the  calendar.

There was a very nice man that helped free my car on Thursday when I drove back from the office only 40 minutes after arriving when they shut everything down. I don't know his name but thank you!

I confess that if we have to shovel the drive for any additional snow, I have no clue where to put it. It's stacked out front about as high as it can go.

Normalcy is now abnormal and it is challenging in ways I'd never imagined. It's easy to feel stir crazy inside, but it seems so white every which way you look that everything outside looks the same so it's hard to feel there is much deviation inside or out.

I confess that Monday at the office it became clear that snow was not the only thing piling up. So were phone messages and work. I confess that it is to the point that being away from the office is not relaxing but stressful because at some point I will have to deal with what I can only imagine is a dam breaking and the work flooding everywhere.

Sunday I had the marvelous experience of auditing a Dean Young Master Class at UMKC. I confess that I am even more impressed with Dean Young then I was before and he had already been on my radar. What I found Sunday was that his whole view of poetry so fits into my own concept but he is able to articulate what that is far better then I have been able to.

I also had reservations to attend his reading/New Letters interview Monday night at the Library.  Even as they were telling us mid-day that the impending storm was going to be severe enough that they would already shut down the offices the next day, I hoped that the evening weather would relent. I hoped that the Library would not cancel the event.  I stayed in town at 5:00 instead of heading home. I checked with the library and they were closing the library at 7PM but the Dean Young event would go on. So with reckless abandon I chose to risk it and go to the event. By the grace of God the sky that looked so ominous held off until the event was over and I pulled into our drive. The the sleet came, then the snow.

I confess that I now have to read The Art of Recklessness: Poetry as Assertive Force and Contradiction.     

I confess that I am trying not to think about the mountain of work growing at the office, but I think I can actually hear it and it's hard to ignore.

Really Good Weekend

Yesterday and today I had some really good karma going on or something because some pieces that I have been working on really started to come together.  Other upbeat things to report....

• Audited a Master Class taught by Dean Young. It was both a thrill and a real learning experience.
• Yesterday I got some submissions out that I've procrastinated over. 
• Surprise of the afternoon, Dana Guthrie Martin was at the master class and she recognized me and introduced herself. 

And Tomorrow:

Dean Young will be reading and doing a live interview for New Letters on the Air tomorrow night at the Plaza Branch Public Library at 6:30.  Call the Library 816-701-3407 for reservations.  There is a 6:00 reception prior to the event. 

Confession Tuesday

Dear Reader:

It's Tuesday. Again. I think. Three day weekends mess me up big time. Having Monday off (making a three day weekend) only makes me long for more days off.  So, I confess that I really wanted today to be Friday. REALLY badly.

But of course today is only Tuesday and so here I am again shamefully acknowledging I'd rather frolic tomorrow, or quite frankly do nothing. That would be fine by me.  Nothing seems easier for me to contemplate then at times in the past. I always think my weekends or any day off needs to be filled with things to do that I am not doing because I'm at work. I'm finding that I really am all right with down time. I confess this is a big deal for me. I think it's a positive thing. It says to me that I am getting better about the whole idea of relaxing and not worrying so much about my life slipping away. That has been a difficult trepidation for me throughout most of my life. I don't think I'm over it, but this little positive sign I will claim as a victory for now.

Maybe I can attribute some of it to the 6 weeks I've been doing the Artist's Way program. It's really the only thing that I can think of that would have impacted my mindset on this. If this is the case, I'm optimistic that the final 6 weeks of the program will have other breakthroughs in store for me.

I've been trying this Lent to be observant of the positive in others. This is also a constant reminder that I need to be vigilant in my own positivities. (I think I just made up a word)  Maybe I mean positiveness but I kind of like positivities better. Tonight I was driving home from the office and had agreed that I would try to get home swiftly as possible because my wife wanted to go check on her mother and didn't want to be out too late. But of course this would be a night in which there was a rush hour accident on Interstate 70. I confess that I caught myself getting annoyed at other drivers who were not attentive to the traffic flow. Right there in the car I had a smack down with myself about my righteous attitude. But at least I did a quick mid-course correction and got myself back on the right track. My Lenten GPS system did it's job.

Well, I've spent another Tuesday evening Confession session with you. That's all I've got. Hope your week stays sunny-side up!

Barry knows....

Nap... It does a body good! 

Reading Sylvia Plath 50 Years after her death is a different experance

 Poet Tess Taylor reflects on how we read Sylvia Plath's poetry,  50 years after her death.


Source NPR 

Confession Tuesday - Lenten Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been one week since my last confession.  It's late and I must confess that I'd rather not be rushing to get this done.

I confess that I often find myself rushing to get things finished and for someone who wants badly to be organized, this is a sign I'm not. Tomorrow begins Lent and lent is an action word. That's what we used to call verbs in school, and yes Lent is a verb. If it's not verb to you then you are probably dealing with lint and you need to clean that out of your dryer... but I digress.

I've decided that for Lent I am going to work harder about getting things done in a timely manner. About planning ahead for this to happen.

I am also going to spend a bit of time meditating daily on when I see in others/the world that is positive/good in hopes that I can in turn find myself to be more positive.

The last thing that is a part of my Lenten (action plan) is to give up a certain word. It's not a bad word. Hell no, I'm not giving up those ;)  This I confess is a word I actually really like. A word that the whole structure of the word is cool to me if you break it down. It's a word I (and I think many others) greatly overuse.  Of course I confess that I'm being a bit judgmental when I speak of others, but I feel like for me personally I've become lazy in my use of the word. I mean really, awesome is such an awesome word that I think there are times that maybe something can better be described another way. So yes, I've giving up the word awesome during Lent. Therefore, I will have to be a little more creative in my response to things that are awe inspiring.

So that's my Lenten plan in a nutshell.

I confess that I'm really excited that pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training camps. Like the Easter season this reminds me of the renewal of spring, of life. Of new beginnings.

I confess that I've been writing less lately and pushing myself or trying to force my writing to be what I want. This week I'm going to take the approach that I not be so self critical, get it on a page and I can go back and work out things in rewrite.

It's late and I confess that I'm finished.

Amen

Sylvia Plath - October 27, 1932 – February 11, 1963

"I wonder about all the roads not taken and am moved to quote Frost...but I won't. It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me."  - Sylvia Plath

Confession Tuesday - Six Degrees from The Following

Tuesdays come and go and before this one is gone I must get my confession in. Come along to the confessional...

Dear Reader:

It's been one week of nagging coughs and sinus drainage. One week of antibiotics. 173 used Kleenexes and here we are.

I confess I've had it with this stuff. Sinus infection/crud whatever it is and I'm thinking about resorting to a witch doctor. Remember, it's only weird if it doesn't work.

I have to say my next item to get off my chest is one that I really hate to bring up, but I will in part because I'm wondering if others are feeling the same. There is a Monday night show called The Following on Fox. It stars Kevin Bacon so I think we are all connected to it in some way. ;)

Here's the deal... Bacon plays a former FBI that put away a English Professor who was a serial killer that had a fixation on Poe. The killer escapes brutally, killing a number of prison guards and then killing a survivor of his past attacks before he is apprehended again. But he has a network of followers who continue to strike in the community on his behalf and Bacon of course was brought back into the picture after his escape because no one knows him better. Now to the confession part. My wife and I have watched all three episodes so far. The show is especially brutal though the first episode significantly more so the the past two. I confess the show is troublingly brutal and yet I continue to watch it. I wonder if others feel this same way. I've never been a person who watches horror movies - this is so out of character for me. The fact that I continue to watch it leaves me feeling unsettled. Friends recommended Dexter to us last year and we got CD from them of the first season but I have to tell you that show was freak'n creepy. After maybe 4 episodes we bailed on it. 

On the upbeat seen I confess that I was elated to receive my copy of O Holy Insurgency by Mary Biddinger in the mail this weekend. Biddinger earlier book Saint Monica was such a spectacular read that I have been hot to get my hands on this new one. I've started reading and first impressions are that it is smack-bang imposing! I'll have more to say about it later... I have to peel all the many layers back. :)

It's been a long day and I plan on reading before it gets too late so this is my confession wrap.

Have a great week... and go buy Mary Biddinger's book! 

Confession Tuesday - late edition

I confess that this confession is late due in part to being sick and part due to an Rx with codeine in it.

I confess that yesterday I  hit a brick wall with steel reinforcement. 

I confess I did not do my morning pages yesterday.  Some will no what that is and others won't. All that is important here is they didn't get done.

I confess that I recall little about my week prior to yesterday so I confess that I'm both late and done. Stick a fork in me.

That Again!

It's the age old question that keeps resurfacing like a bad cliche. Alexandra Petri writing in the Washington Post Journal asks, "Is Poetry Dead?"

Ms. Petri writes, "I think the medium might not be loud enough any longer. There are about six people who buy new poetry, but they are not feeling very well."  She says the last time she stumbled upon a poetry reading it was mostly students of the poet who were there hoping to earn extra credit. 

Over the years we've been down this road on this topic more times then there are MFA Writing Programs. The fact that we keep coming back to this same tired old question (can't you think of a more original title?  ... you're a Journalist for Christ's sake!) says to me that the noun in the question is obviously still kicking along. 

It's easy to write these kinds of essays because a good deal of the population gets the joke, just like they laugh about fruit cake jokes. Because it's easy to do because, well everyone else seems to be laughing. And more people the joke then no. But you know what? Companies are still making fruit cakes, selling them, and laughing all the way to the bank. 

The truth is, we are a fractured society. And we are becoming more and more fractured  by the increase in numbers of choices we are offered on a daily basis. What is successful in today's media grabs a smaller share of the market then when people came home from work and could basically turn on the three network TV stations and maybe one or two local independent stations. 

Poetry competes with everything else for it's place in the world. Linda Holmes who maintains the Monkey See blog of pop culture site explained the 2% rule as axiom used in television comedy on a recent NPR program in a discussion centered on the whole impact of our fractured interests on pop culture.  Things that most everyone understood 15 years ago that became the subject of jokes on TV are replaced today by things that maybe 2% of the audience gets.  

Ms. Petri might be surprised to learn that this fall a university level Modern and Contemporary Poetry class was offered on Coursera - that was non-credit,  attracted over 21,000 enrolled.  There are poets such as Mary Oliver, Billy Collins, Sharon Oliver (to name a few) whose books  are selling to broader numbers of people. Poetry continues to get a share of a universal market that is saturated with too many choices and too little time. It's like everything else. 

Is she being too harsh? She asks, hopeful she adds that she is wrong. I think her problem is that she is asking the wrong question. Wrong, because it keeps coming up. The fact that it does, year after year should tell her that  poetry is a survivor.  For poetry to die, language must die, That isn't happening. People are still buying fruit cakes too. I had one over the holiday season. 

Confession Tuesday - One of Those Moods Edition.

It's a Monday/Tuesday so off to the confessional

Dear Reader:

It's been one week, seven morning pages, a new inaugural poem, a 49er Win (yeah) and a three day weekend since my last confession.

The Monday/Tuesday is code word for I had a three day weekend and I'm paying for it. I confess that as days after a three day weekend go, this one I got hammered on. The Tuesday from hell! I could easily be in bed now at 7:00 PM and out for the night. But I'm not! I left work, picked up a prescription refill on the way home, made dinner and here I am tending to bloggerly duties.

I confess that I'm going to brag a bit. I think it's worth mentioning that I made a list of several journals that I plan to systematically submit to over the first three months of the year. By that I mean I spent some time researching them and noting if they were accepting submissions during this period.  Next I will plug these into my calendar and allow ample time to get the submissions off so that I'm not scrambling at 11:30 PM the night before the deadline to put the work together.

I confess that when I have three day weekends I have high expectations for myself about what I am going to so. Like new year resolutions these more often then not fall short. I'm happy to say that while I did not get all done that I had hoped to this past weekend I did remarkably well at tackling my to do list.

Yesterday, I watched the presidential inaugural ceremony. I'm pleased that it went off without a hitch as I must confess that I was concerned about the president's safety. I confess to that I was very impressed with the poem written and delivered by Richard Blanco  for the inauguration. This poem hit home with me more then the inaugural poem 4 years ago.I'm not trying to get into a major comparison of the two here as they both have their merits, I'm just saying this one, at the moment I heard it, I really connected with it. I'm especially glad that our president has seen fit to elevate the arts in such a way that they are seen as a significant part of ordinary life.

I confess that I've found another poet who's work I can recommend reading... Check out Tara Mae Mulroy.  She has a number of pieces of her work that can be found on the Internet but her blog is really interesting too.  It's called Poetry & Effrontery and I especially like reading her own commentary on her working poetry drafts. It's kind of like a play-by-play if I can use a sports analogy. Oh look, I just did.

I confess that every once and a while I get into a mode where I want to explore and find new poets to read. I'm kind of in one of those moods. So if you know someone you'd recommend me checking out, feel free to leave a comment.

I confess I have nothing else to confess.

Sweet Mother of God

Yesterday at the grocery store I purchased some oranges on sale. My wife had one this morning and she called me in to ask about them. The initial tone of her voice lead .me to believe I was in somehow in disfavor. I wasn's however. She was simply curious about the orange that seemed to resemble in some respects a ruby red grapefruit in color. We both tasted the orange and sweet mother of God, it was delicious.  As a result, I went back to the store for more.

For the record these are Cara Cara oranges.

Mark Doty - Kansas City - Jan. 31 Midwest Poets Series.

THURSDAY - JANUARY 31 - 7:00 PM Mabee Theater - Sedgwick Hall at Rockhurst University - Mark Doty

Mark Doty returns to the Midwest Poets Series (only the second poet to make a re-appearance) that has featured some of the most celebrated of poets of our time.  Doty has written 12 books of poetry and 3 memoirs and received numerous awards and prizes for his work including T.S. Eliot Prize for Poetry, a National Book Award as well as the National Book Critics Circle Award.

Admission is $3 at the door.

The address is 54th and Troost, Kansas City, MO

Confession Tuesday - Phone App Edition

It's been one cold January week, a week of morning pages, and Artist's date and a a novel read since my last confession.

To the confessional...

Dear Reader:

I confess I finished reading a novel for no reason other then entertainment. That may seem like an odd thing to confess to but I don't typically read simply for pleasure. I may find for example reading a book of poetry pleasurable but I never really approach such reading as whimsical or strictly good fun.  I'm odd like that I guess. I'm talking about a book that simply was mindless reading. Like going to one of those movies with little redeeming value. I confess I'll probably do it again.

Speaking of reading, I had planned to come home for a bit last night and drive back into the city for an 8 PM reading at an open mic. So many of my work days lately have been long and draining and yesterday was no exception. The mailman delivered a book I ordered, The 6.5 Practices of a Moderately Successful Poet by Jeffrey Skinner. Seeing the book, I made an executive decision to stay home and read. I confess it was not a difficult decision to make and I have no regrets. Sure I need to be reading more, but this was a take care of Michael sort of thing. By the way, this book is interesting and I will likely have more to say about it as I am further into it or finish it.

I confess that I'm learning a thing or two by way of the Artist's Way. This too is something for later posts but there are things already that I feel happening that may well be setting the foundation for an improved attitude about my artistic undertakings.

I confess that I am a person who wants to be organized but finds disorganization  like it were a magnet and I were metal.

I confess that I have way too many applications on my phone.

I confess that I want to by books every week but don't have the budget to keep up with my want list. When I do buy a new book I go over my wish list like I were doing triage in a MASH unit and trying to decide the life and death of a book on the list. It can get emotional. Ok, maybe just a little. Sometimes.

That's it for this week...

And they all said, Amen!

Confession Tuesday - Over-thinking Edition

Dear Reader,

It's been a week since my last confession. A week and 7 morning pages. Follow me to the box and let's begin.

I confess that sometimes this past week I've woken up in the wee hours of the morning and had trouble getting back to sleep. This might not be so annoying if in fact I was getting to sleep at a decent hour.  Lately unsettled dogs in the house have set me back for starters and on occasion (but not always) they are the reason for waking prematurely. This is compounded by the fact that office work has been so intense lately that I come home exhausted to start with. The other day in spite of being awake at 3 A.M. I was able to get back to sleep and have some wildly eventful dreams after falling back to sleep. This tells me in hit REM and that's good sleeping.

Getting back to morning pages, I confess that starting the Artist's Way has revealed some interesting things to me. If you are not familiar with morning pages they are written about anything and everything that comes into your mind. They are like stream of conscious writing. This flushing out of the mind each day is not to shared with anyone else or even reread for a period of time so I will not go into detail.  In fact I can't necessarily recall everything I've written but I will confess that their are some things that have been revealed to me that challenge some of my habits and thinking. Since one of the things in the book that I read in advance of week one suggests there are things we might feel uncomfortable about I can attest that this is already happening. But this is a good thing, right?

I confess that I will hit what my wife said the kids called a milestone birthday on Thursday. No, I'm not turning 100. I don't think of birthday's as milestones except maybe 100. Milestones in years are like years on the job or number of years married. Those are milestones. I confess the only thing worse then turning my age would be NOT turning my age. Does that make sense?

I confess that I subscribed to Duotrope. I'm hope subscription price will shame me in to submitting more work.  I didn't do bad last year but I'm hopeful that 2013 will be a robust year for both submissions and acceptances.

The other day I began pondering if I should dump the name of this blog. I've blogged here under the name Stickpoet since 2003 if my memory serves me correctly. (I could look at my first date in the archives if I was not too lazy) I liked the sort of comic identity but have recently wondered if it's unbecoming.  Too silly to be seen seriously. Do I even care to be taken seriously? Of course I want my work to be taken seriously.  I confess this may be over-thinking. I sometimes do that. I think it's a Capricorn thing.

Can I get an Amen?

175 Of Them!

Across the street from my home is a large field with a baseball diamond. (an added bonus when we looked at the house) I've knocked around some fly balls in it and played catch. Not as often as I'd like to have but even knowing it's there is still a cheap thrill.

I enjoy it when others use the field for baseball or just to practice. Not so much for soccer or football practice. Some things are sacred. But each year I do enjoy the return of the geese. To the geese I always extend a hearty welcome.

Sometimes there are 30 to 40 that arrive. Other times there are in excess of 100. This weekend I thought the number exceptionally high and I began to count. They are really not hard to count because they will stand still for me for the most part Spread out over the field there were 175 that I counted. Now I may be off + or - 1 or 2 but I'd say no more. So for the sake of this reporting I will go with the 175 number and it established a new high count.

Thinking about the geese there are a couple of things right off that I like about them. For starters the fact that they return a couple of different period of time during the year. I like that they come back to where they know.

I also appreciate that when they are walking around they seem to be doing their own thing. The are individuals. But they also belong to a larger community. When they go and come it is together. And they will fly off in a beautiful formation once aloft... Their aerodynamics is something to behold.; and they know their leader. There is no bickering among them as to who is to lead. This may of course occur in private smoke filled rooms but they do not air their dirty laundry or do political backstabbing in plain view and I appreciate that about them.

They have blessed me with a return again this winter and for that I am thankful.

  

Confession Tuesday - Tardy Edition

Dear Reader,
I'm late. Yes I'm starting this out nearly an hour into Wednesday.  I confess that it had not occurred to me that it was Tuesday in spite of answering my wife's question as to what day it was esrlier in the eveving.  It's like I knew without it ever really registering.

My mind has apparently been on break from reality. Reality is so overrated.

I confess that in the morning I will of course meet the sun with a different perspective but I confess I will not be s willing participant in this.

Even on holidays or other days off I don't generally find it easy to lose myself in the moment. I confess that I did tonight and I liked it.

Amen!

Making The Artist's Way Commitment

I'm committing this month to undertake The Artist's Way in order to better connect with the artist that is within me, to explore it, to listen to it, nurture it, grow it and realize the potential that is there, often overlooked or hindered. 

The Artist's Way - Wikipedia

I understand  that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the twelve week duration of the course. 

I commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist date, and the fulfillment of each week's tasks.

I further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I commit myself to excellent self-care, adequate sleep, diet, exercise and pampering for the duration of the course.


Michael A. Wells
January 1, 2013