Sunday, February 23, 2020
Looking for the Good
It's Sunday evening and there are so many things I could have done today that I didn't. I didn't send any notes to anyone for no reason than just to say hi. I did not go outside and take a walk, looking up at the clouds or tree tops. Other than to get out and drive to yoga, I went no place else. I read maybe 4 or five poems this morning. I journaled around 2:30 a.m. when my mind raced, chased by anxiety throughout the house.
A number of things have rolled through my mind throughout the day. Why I am not writing this very moment? What should I or could I write about. Where is my muse? Where. has she been - I've not seen her for a very long time.
Cathy came home from work today sick and she is heavy on my mind because I recently went through a stretch of being sick with some upper respiratory sickness that really kicked my butt. I don't want her to go through the same thing. I offered her as my intention for my yoga practice today. She is resting now, and that is likely what she needs most.
Earlier in the day, I was thinking. a lot about the upcoming AWP conference. I always get anxious as it gets closer. I will likely have bouts of anxiety daily between now and the time I leave. Also, on my mind today. is Ash Wednesday that is approaching. What will I give up for lent? Will I give up anything? Will I substitute some proactive thing to do instead?
It warmed up quite a bit today and that seems heavy on me in that I missed lots of opportunity to see the beauty in things. I bet my muse was out taking in nature. I'm like, Bitch where are you? She be like, where you should be.
Two final thoughts, I watched the Mr Rogers movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood this week (this may be the subject of a full post later). There was also a few lines shared with us a Yoga tonight about leaving the small fights for small fighters. These two things are centering. They are simple but challenge me to think good thoughts, positive thoughts.
With that, I'm going to sign off a write a bit because it's barely 8:30, and because I can.