Thoughts on Family History

With everyone else out of the house today, I cleaned some and then listened to a podcast of an interview with Maxine Hong Kingston as she confronts aging in her book I Love A Broad Margin To My Life. She's a remarkable person to listen to. Kingston took the title of her book from the quote by Henry David Thoreau.  Her view of being an elder and living against the backdrop of mortality is fastening.  Listening to her causes me to think about genealogy (even though I've had it on my mind) in a different sort of way. Not just from a personal interest but in the context of a responsibility to collect and pass that information to those in the family younger then yourself.  Creating a history of heritage is an elder's responsibility and it seems to me that it is more than simply collecting a genealogy history, but seeing where we've come from so often helps define who we are.

It really seems quite natural to me that poets would feel such a responsibility quite natural in the same way we do story telling. What do you think?

They go out - they come back. Poems looking for homes

I've been busy reforming my ways this year submitting to four different journals so far.  Significant because I have come to dislike this part of writing over the past couple of years. 

Things are looking up! Yesterday, I received the following rejection e-mail from one of my submission groupings of poems:

Some nice lines in there, Michael, especially in Mount Rushmore. Overall, they didn't seem right for XXXXXX   Review. We have decided to pass this time.

...We appreciate you considering us submission-worthy. Please wait at least a week before submitting again.

Best,

My attempt at algebra for today

If, as Carlos Fuentes says, "Writing is a struggle against silence" ~

then I'm thinking submitting is a struggle against failure. 

Gold Star

First day of the new year - I've sent out a submission with four poems to kick off 2011.  Got to be better about this! 

Crumpets and a Movie

Sunday morning, someone is drawing bath water, the dogs are quiet and my stomach to talking to me. I hear, but ignore.

I haven't blogged in days. I started to late last night  but ended up deleting before I was finished and went to bed.  That's kind of how I've been these past four days. Sort of here but not really.  I have not felt well and until Christmas eve I was in denial that I was sick (a common defensive tactic of mine) and simply wrote it off as sinus related stuff - but I've decided now it's some kind of upper respiratory thingy.

My loving wife made me homemade crumpets and ham on Christmas and I watched Il Postino (recommended by Kelli Agodon) - which I enjoyed in spite of following the subtitles in my fuzzy head.  I will watch it again soon and probably enjoy it more if my eyes and brain are working better together.

I've written already this morning, so the day has started well. Holding off on breakfast as long as I can - my blood sugar numbers are a little elevated as a result of being sick.

Have several things I want to get done today - but I don't want to push myself. I really have too much to do at the office not to go in tomorrow, so I don't want to overdue things today.

I pulled my copy of Unmentionables by Beth Ann Fennelly  off the night stand to read a few poems this morning. Feel like a cup of coffee, but not till I have something else in my stomach first.  Off to read now. Maybe, just maybe I'll have something more profound to say when I rejoin the world in another post later today.

Poets - Life & Death and their work

"When you’re a young writer, you subtract the birth dates of authors from their publication dates and feel panic or hope. When you’re an old writer, you observe the death dates of your favorite writers and you reflect on their works and their lives. " ~ Gail Godwin

If there is any obsession that has a hold on me, it would be the triangulation of time - death  - life.  That obsession has informed a lot of things in my life. I probably is what propelled me into political involvement at an age when many were dealing with such things as acne and their popularity.  I blame it too for informing my approach to writing in ways I often find frustrating.


Gail Godwin's essay "Working on the Ending - I'm not finished" - New York Times - Sunday Book Review, really spoke to me as she talked about writing and aging. Of course I'm not as old as the writers she references in her essay, but I'm no spring chicken either.  And since I am so good a looking at the ages of writers (especially poets) as they pass on, doing the math (a fact that I'm sure only feeds my anxiety) in my head, well it only stands to reason this all too close for comfort.

Since I've come to writing poetry late in life, I already identify with Phillip Roth's remarks to Terry Gross of NPR when asked what he wanted out of writing as he aged.  Roth replied that  he wanted to be as alert and energetic as ever at the keyboard, he wanted to be taken seriously, and he wanted to make a work of art out of his subject.  The part about being taken seriously, I think one of the hard parts for me is that after writing for a shorter period of time then many my age, it seems the entire rest of my writing life will be held hostage by this desire.

I'm sure that I would do well to loosen up a bit and try not to focus on such things as who was just published and how many books is that makes now or what poet just died and how old they were.

My Bi-Annual Dig on DST

Mood:  I'm here aren't I
Listening to:  Forever by Kenny Loggins just ended Making Love out of Nothing at All by Air Supply just started.

Note to those who dislike Daylight Savings time as much as I do.... 

A proposed federal law calling for Russia to end its daylight saving practice has been brought to the State Duma and is now being discussed at a regional level. Daylight saving time (DST) may no longer be used in Russia in the future if this proposed law is approved.

Furthermore, the proposal’s summary raises the issue of people’s biorhythms being distorted because of DST, and that Russia had enough energy savings without needing DST. It was discussed that the elderly and children struggled with biological clock changes associated with DST.

Interesting information on health risks.

Good Lord - Russia is looking more progressive on this then we are.

Ok, enough on this...

Was up early this morning writing - I've been exploring my optimum writing times.
I'll talk more about this in the near future.

Lots left to do today. Need to shower and get started.

Off to Bed with a Book to Read

I've had a pretty productive day of writing capped off with watching   game one of the NLCS between San Francisco Giants and Philadelphia Phillies. Giants take the opening game on the road 5-4. Cody Ross again going yard tonight. Not once but twice!  At right he celebrates after the first with Giants pitcher.

Week in Review

 

• I haven’t written nearly enough this week. ::frown::  [for which no one is to blame but myself]
• I read an amazing poem this week by Terresa Wellborn titled POEM: In Praise of Schizophrenia
• I received a signed copy of Susan Rich’s book The Alchemist’s Kitchen the mail [books in the mailbox always trump bills]  I’m reading it and very much enjoying it.
• Got a little excited about the  new Poet Laureate news.
• Read from works by Mary Oliver and Victoria Chang
• I’ve been pondering a poem idea of my wife’s (which I will take to paper this weekend and see what I can do with it)
• Did Snoopy dances around the house when the National League won the All-Star Game.
• Checked out the new Prospero’s Bookstore in Blue Springs
• Of course there was the regular 9-5 (those hours are metaphorically speaking)
• The 4:30a.m. trip to the airport
• The dogs… always the dogs.

and so on…

Morning Journal Entry

      I don’t know the time which is only important for for what I don’t know.

The back yard breeze across the deck gently pats my face and the shade moves about with no more exertion than meandering dogs with inevitability seemingly low in priority.  

It will not be like this all day- a value added fact. It is for the present just what it is and I accept the gift.

Between last night and this morning a poem was born of observation. It seems my mind was open to the possibility last night and still graciously accepting enlightening thoughts this morning. The summer breeze clears the mind to make room for the possible. 

My desk at the office

 

This would be one of my more organized mornings. You can actually see wood surface.

I’ve decided to start my morning at work reading a poem before I start the day. I’m trying this because I’ve found that before my writing sessions doing this gets me relaxed and in a creative mindset and figure doing the same before beginning my regular job may well have similar benefits.  I’ll let you know how I feel it is going in a few weeks.

 

Technorati Tags: poetry,creative mindset

The Poetry Deal by Diane di Prima

I found this wonderful piece of writint at SF Gate.  Below I'll leave you with an explanation by the poet laureate of San Francisco Diane di Prima - I could identify with so much of it.  After you read it - follow the link and read "The Poetry Deal"


Diane di Prima is San Francisco's poet laureate. About "The poetry deal:" I committed myself to a life of poetry at the age of 14, as a sophomore in high school. I'd been writing some poetry since I was 7, but to me "commitment" meant that I'd write something every day, and would learn all I could about the craft of the poem. As the years passed, I kept doggedly at it, writing, studying obsessively, and always avoiding classes and workshops. By the time I was 24, I was putting out a book a year. Forty years after that commitment, it occurred to me that - selfless and unquestioning as the creative life is - there actually is something like a contract between me and my art.

click below

The Poetry Deal by Diane di Prima

Good News

This afternoon, as I'm getting ready for a Poetry Reading... I check my e-mail from my phone and the following pops up as new mail....

Hi Michael,

I am pleased to tell you that your poems 'The Face of Mount Rushmore' and 'She's Acryllic' have been selected to appear in the next issue of 'Cats with Thumbs'


This should appear in Mid-May.

This is the kind of e-mail I like...    More please!  More often!!! 

Scoring Daily

For several weeks now I’ve had a widget on my sidebar for a site called joesgoals.com. I suppose it’s kind of confusing when you look at it because at first glance one might say why are Joe’s goals on Michael’s blog? On further look, you will find my name on it too below the graph.



The point of this post is to talk about goals. The Capricorn in me is almost a widget addict. It’s all about trying (emphasis on trying) to stay organized and effective. I think this is what all Capricorns want but we have built-in traits that tend to sabotage us.


The Joe’s Goals widget has actually been helpful because I can be as narrow or broadly focused as I want to. In my case, there were several things that were important to me. Things that are writing related and things that are health related. I decided I wanted a balanced view of what my days / weeks are like. Plus I can print out a category list by week or month to see how well I’m doing in the more specific areas.


You can give weighted points to the items. For example, I expect myself to write daily and most of the time do. I give myself 1 point for doing this. Same for journaling, and reading. Submitting poetry has become a chore to me. It’s honestly worth twice as much as say a writing session. A rejection letter gets negative points as well, and is an incentive to right away get back on the bike again so to speak after the fall. And an Artist Date is another challenge for me to take the time and energy to plan out and follow through on, hence it’s worth three points. For health I’ve factored in both positive points and negative where I’ve fallen down. I like that it keeps me focusing on the present and the future.


This little system may not be for everyone, but it’s a good fit for this Capracorn.

The Moment

My writing last night was not exactly what I wanted it to be. So you must be thinking in astonishment, wow, and he expects it to always turn out right? The answer is of course no. But last nights writing may simply remain comatose in my journal. It may never see completion; or even the revival attempt of multiple rewrites. Sometimes I feel it is so far off that I walk away from it. Lose interest.

Surely I am not alone in this abandonment of work. Still, I was thinking this morning about a statement about Sylvia Plath’s poetry writing that is attributed to Ted Hughes in which he says he is not aware of Sylvia ever abandoning a poem. There are (and I’m paraphrasing here) times when she decided should could not make a table out of something and was perfectly happy settling for a chair but he never recalled her abandoning one.

I’ve had tables that have turned into chairs or foot stools, but still, sometimes I allow the bad to stand and walk away from it. This morning it is bothering me for some reason.

Maybe it’s because some of these are in my journal along with everything else. Perhaps if I tore the pages out I would feel better. Perhaps not. It’s just where I am at this moment and I’m taking ownership of this feeling, but not necessarily comforted by it.




Image: Darren Robertson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I need this on a T-shirt

If I appear distracted, disengaged, unfocused today, it is only because I am hyper-vigilant in search of poetic moments. *

*my facebook status from Dec. 2, 2009  

Low Battery

This week has been especially stressful and that has to a great extent impaired my writing. For the most part, I attribute this impact more to my energy level than anything else. Stress can be quite an energy drain.

I’ve had creative bursts of ideas, just not the energy to adequately deal with them. Nor have I the energy to keep up with my reading, the energy to write those few extra lines or a few extra minutes to get every out of my head and onto the page. I’m well aware of the dangers fleeting thoughts pose. The ones you never recover. That is usually one of the first casualties of this kind of energy drain.

I promise myself to do better tonight.

Full day & Play Ball!

Settling to watch the World Series game tonight.  Looking for a good game tonight with the series tied 1 game apiece and the series moves to Philadelphia.  Pulling for the Phillies!

Today was busy. Brought some work home from the office for the weekend.  Did some of it today and saved some for tomorrow.

Send of poetry submissions.  Printed out hard copies of some of my work to sift through looking for manuscript material that I already have to assess what I still need to work on. Lots of stuff I intentionally didn’t print out. I messed around on some rewrites as well.

Made the dogs happy – taking them for a walk.

Chatted with one of my daughters for a good half-hour today.  She’s away at school and I’m missing her, so it was a real treat.

Made dinner tonight for my wife who spent day at the office.

If the game isn’t too late ending, I’ll probably read a bit before turning in. Not counting on a quick game though.

Tides

There is a real tidal wave that has come over me and is pulling me back into the sea of writing. I feel I need to write to stay afloat.

Off the beaten path..

As I sat down to write last night, I went to an epigraph I lifted from another poem that I had thought about for a while and started to write. Beyond the fist line of my own (not the epigraph) it stopped working. I tried forcing it. The old I’m going to pound this square peg into the round hole if it’s the end of me method of writing. Well, it was the end of me writing anything worthwhile for the evening. It ended badly as these things usually do when I’m in that mode of operation. I become a poet wondering in the desert. Lost.




Perhaps the poet will find his way back onto the page today.