The past few weeks I have been in the process of reclaiming my office. This was vacated when my daughter Meghan and her husband Brandon came here post college until they could get work and save for a place of their own.
Note the San Francisco Giants banner - re-personalizing it one of the first acts that has to occur. Actually I plan for everything to be pretty functional by tonight.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Confession Tuesday - On the ledge edition
Dear Readers:
It's been a week since my last confession. I've impressed myself that I'm here on time.
This past week I stepped out on a ledge so to speak. I've been toying with trying watercolors and acrylics. I painted in oils when I was a teenager but not since them and we are talking oh about #@ years. So I've had material that I purchased about a month ago and I've wavered back and forth between starting with watercolor at one point and acrylic and finally back to watercolor. I don't really have a reason that I can put my finger one for what I decided to start with, but I'm pretty sure that the wavering was simply procrastination to stave off the fear that I had of actually putting the brush to the paint and then onto the medium.
I confess that when I pulled out the material the week and finally started, I felt a tiny bit of success. Not so much in what I did (generally I am just working on some technique exercises) but I felt some success in meeting my fear head on. This is a good thing. No?
Yesterday, I was feeling a bit unhappy with my writing these past few days and I confess that I am wondering if it is due to divided attention. I suppose it could be, or it could be me just trying whip up another reason to engage in fear.
I confess that I ready to continue to tackle my fears this next week and not let them own me. I will continue to work on some painting and I will write and write and write through this period until I again feel that what I'm getting on the page is worthy.
It's been a week since my last confession. I've impressed myself that I'm here on time.
This past week I stepped out on a ledge so to speak. I've been toying with trying watercolors and acrylics. I painted in oils when I was a teenager but not since them and we are talking oh about #@ years. So I've had material that I purchased about a month ago and I've wavered back and forth between starting with watercolor at one point and acrylic and finally back to watercolor. I don't really have a reason that I can put my finger one for what I decided to start with, but I'm pretty sure that the wavering was simply procrastination to stave off the fear that I had of actually putting the brush to the paint and then onto the medium.
I confess that when I pulled out the material the week and finally started, I felt a tiny bit of success. Not so much in what I did (generally I am just working on some technique exercises) but I felt some success in meeting my fear head on. This is a good thing. No?
Yesterday, I was feeling a bit unhappy with my writing these past few days and I confess that I am wondering if it is due to divided attention. I suppose it could be, or it could be me just trying whip up another reason to engage in fear.
I confess that I ready to continue to tackle my fears this next week and not let them own me. I will continue to work on some painting and I will write and write and write through this period until I again feel that what I'm getting on the page is worthy.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
MAG 190
Dog by scavangercat808
My Parallel Universe
another world out there
framed in my view—
a world of ruckus
fast moving cars
I can chase
only in my imagination
a postman strolls unflinched
oblivious to my bark
children chasing balls
will pass and give a nod
hey you they
offer
no hand to pat my head
there are noises
I can’t even identify
people cats birds
smells the permeate
my universe
I know these things exist
Tuesday, October 08, 2013
Confession Tuesday - The Naked Truth Edition
Tuesday has come... Hey, I'm on time! It's been a long day so Let's head to the confessional.
Dear Reader:
It's been a long day because I left the office and drove to northland looking for a PetsMart before going to a poetry group meeting. Then I made a stop by my office again before returning home.
When I left work I went looking for a PetsMart that I have never been to before. The driving instructions looked easy enough but the roads were a nightmare, with roundabouts and loops that went in circles. It was during this state of mental confusion that I realized I had left my cell phone at the office. At this point I am both stressed that I can't find the pet store AND that I don't have my phone. While I don't consider myself a legitimate techie I felt like I was naked without my cell. I considered driving back to the office but that would make me late for poetry so with a big old sigh, I moved on arriving at the group meeting on time.
Did I put the missing phone behind me once we started? Of course not! Doing that would be a healthy rational thing to do. I confess it is time like this that my body screams stress!!!!!!!!!!
When we were finished, I hit a drive through to get some food and then to my office. I go through security and take the elevator up and onto a pitch black floor where I play bind mans bluff all the way to the door, insert the key after several tries I'm in. I retrieve my phone that was right where I left it, tethered to my PC to charge. With the PC off, it was not charging and by now was dead.
I could have put the phone out of my mind during the meeting. I could have even gone one home, the phone would be there awaiting me in the morning but no, I'm not that kind of person. I confess that sometimes I wish I could be that person.
I don't leave my phone behind often and this is a good thing because it truly unnerves me. I confess that I know it would probably be a positive thing if I left my phone behind intentionally and allowed myself to simply take a deep breath and let it roll off me.
Do you have something you find it hard to be without? I'd love to hear about what leave you feeling naked.
Dear Reader:
It's been a long day because I left the office and drove to northland looking for a PetsMart before going to a poetry group meeting. Then I made a stop by my office again before returning home.
When I left work I went looking for a PetsMart that I have never been to before. The driving instructions looked easy enough but the roads were a nightmare, with roundabouts and loops that went in circles. It was during this state of mental confusion that I realized I had left my cell phone at the office. At this point I am both stressed that I can't find the pet store AND that I don't have my phone. While I don't consider myself a legitimate techie I felt like I was naked without my cell. I considered driving back to the office but that would make me late for poetry so with a big old sigh, I moved on arriving at the group meeting on time.
Did I put the missing phone behind me once we started? Of course not! Doing that would be a healthy rational thing to do. I confess it is time like this that my body screams stress!!!!!!!!!!
When we were finished, I hit a drive through to get some food and then to my office. I go through security and take the elevator up and onto a pitch black floor where I play bind mans bluff all the way to the door, insert the key after several tries I'm in. I retrieve my phone that was right where I left it, tethered to my PC to charge. With the PC off, it was not charging and by now was dead.
I could have put the phone out of my mind during the meeting. I could have even gone one home, the phone would be there awaiting me in the morning but no, I'm not that kind of person. I confess that sometimes I wish I could be that person.
I don't leave my phone behind often and this is a good thing because it truly unnerves me. I confess that I know it would probably be a positive thing if I left my phone behind intentionally and allowed myself to simply take a deep breath and let it roll off me.
Do you have something you find it hard to be without? I'd love to hear about what leave you feeling naked.
Sunday, October 06, 2013
The Mag 189
Photo credit crilleb50
RUMINATION
The ticking-
the constant ever after ticking.
I sit for this
I sit for that
it weighs one the mind
it bends at the heart
of it all, I see no reason
I hear no rhyme.
I do not cherish this passage
of time-
after which I know nothing of.
The grass it grows
and flowers and blooms
and goes to seed-
My knees ache
all the while I ruminate;
then conjugate things
of despair-
things I remember
that brought me here-
those that were painful
and some that were dear.
this ticking continues
I suppose that is good-
it's all quite foggy now
like I knew would.
Michael A. Wells
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Confession Tuesday - The Delayed Edition
Yes, it's Wednesday and I acknowledge, even confess if you will, that I missed the appropriate day for confession Tuesday. Let's get down to business.
Dear Reader,
It's been Two GI prep bottles, 4 glasses of water, a lot of discomfort, a day of strictly liquid diet, one upper, one lower GI scope, one government shut-down, the last episode of 24 and no acceptances and no rejections since my last confession.
Yesterday was a day if prep for a double GI scope which occurred this morning. It's probably been 10 years since I've done one of these before and I forgot how much I hate the prep for them. First there was the liquid diet. It went exceedingly well till oh about 3:30 yesterday and at that point I was craving something to eat. I didn't know what I wanted (specifically) but I wanted something besides bullion, Gatorade, or White Grape Juice. I might add it's a real juggle to keep your blood sugar numbers steady on a liquid diet if you're diabetic.
On the way home I stopped to pick up a prescription for my wife and was introduced to rows of Halloween candy on displays. I confess I could inhale the sweet smell of Candy Corn. I was week at my knees with want for it, but of course I was a good boy. Throughout the evening there would be other foods to crave but today I still crave Candy Corn.
So I've moved past the prep and procedure and am getting back into the swing of things and will return to office tomorrow. I confess I've looked at my office email and can already tell I have a challenging day ahead.
This week our family lost another dog. My son's Mastiff named Church died without any kind of warning. My son found him dead and his body was still warm. Church was one of Mike's dogs that I would dog sit from time to time when he was away. Church and Hoss were my writing buddies when I would stay over to sit. Both have passed.
I confess that I'm still emotionally a bit tinder as a result of the passing of our own dog Mo recently and the news of Church added to my broken heart. We are dealing with some health issues for my Dachshund Barry who has been diagnosed with exocrine pancreatic insufficiency and requires special enzymes added to his food in order to derive nourishment from it. He had lost lots of weight but is coming back slowly. It's tough when your pets are getting along in age.
The arrival of October has been hard to believe. I confess that it sort of sneaked in under my radar. So three fourths of the year is gone. I can honestly say that I already consider this year one of my best for writing and publishing. I believe much of the success is due to my strict adherence to Submission Saturday.
I've sent out more material this year them any since I've been doing this and the results clearly tell me that if I get my work out there, it will find a home.
I confess that I am not ready to put a nail in 2013 yet. I've still got nearly three months for icing on the cake.
Two poems that were recently accepted will appear in print in January so I feel like am already loading the bases for next year. Anyway, I confess that it's nice to feel like something is going right and I am ready to raise the bar for the future.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Dear Reader,
It's been Two GI prep bottles, 4 glasses of water, a lot of discomfort, a day of strictly liquid diet, one upper, one lower GI scope, one government shut-down, the last episode of 24 and no acceptances and no rejections since my last confession.
Yesterday was a day if prep for a double GI scope which occurred this morning. It's probably been 10 years since I've done one of these before and I forgot how much I hate the prep for them. First there was the liquid diet. It went exceedingly well till oh about 3:30 yesterday and at that point I was craving something to eat. I didn't know what I wanted (specifically) but I wanted something besides bullion, Gatorade, or White Grape Juice. I might add it's a real juggle to keep your blood sugar numbers steady on a liquid diet if you're diabetic.
On the way home I stopped to pick up a prescription for my wife and was introduced to rows of Halloween candy on displays. I confess I could inhale the sweet smell of Candy Corn. I was week at my knees with want for it, but of course I was a good boy. Throughout the evening there would be other foods to crave but today I still crave Candy Corn.
So I've moved past the prep and procedure and am getting back into the swing of things and will return to office tomorrow. I confess I've looked at my office email and can already tell I have a challenging day ahead.
This week our family lost another dog. My son's Mastiff named Church died without any kind of warning. My son found him dead and his body was still warm. Church was one of Mike's dogs that I would dog sit from time to time when he was away. Church and Hoss were my writing buddies when I would stay over to sit. Both have passed.
I confess that I'm still emotionally a bit tinder as a result of the passing of our own dog Mo recently and the news of Church added to my broken heart. We are dealing with some health issues for my Dachshund Barry who has been diagnosed with exocrine pancreatic insufficiency and requires special enzymes added to his food in order to derive nourishment from it. He had lost lots of weight but is coming back slowly. It's tough when your pets are getting along in age.
The arrival of October has been hard to believe. I confess that it sort of sneaked in under my radar. So three fourths of the year is gone. I can honestly say that I already consider this year one of my best for writing and publishing. I believe much of the success is due to my strict adherence to Submission Saturday.
I've sent out more material this year them any since I've been doing this and the results clearly tell me that if I get my work out there, it will find a home.
I confess that I am not ready to put a nail in 2013 yet. I've still got nearly three months for icing on the cake.
Two poems that were recently accepted will appear in print in January so I feel like am already loading the bases for next year. Anyway, I confess that it's nice to feel like something is going right and I am ready to raise the bar for the future.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Church
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Sometimes Words Just Won't Do
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~Ingrid Bergman
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