Followers

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Confession Tuesday - Safe Place Edition

Dear Reader...

It's been one rejection, one home office reclamation and a week since my last confession.

This morning I stopped for a Diet Coke in route to work and when I cam back into the parking lot and entered my car I looked up and saw the Safe Place sign. I confess I don't know if these exist in other metropolitan areas but here certain public establishments are designated as such primarily for that children facing eminent harm within the community have a very public place to retreat to for safety. The idea is marvelous but that's not my point here.

I confess that as I looked at this sign it caused me to consider the reason we even need a safe places. The sad fact of the matter is that society is so saturated with things that pose significant threats to the safety of everyone.

For instance, many times I see people who are so short on patience with others in stores, while driving, at sporting events, there is a degree of hostility that is so potentially volatile that these very public places seem to breed unhealthy conduct between persons who often have little or no connection in life but decide to spew forth impatience that sparks rudeness and sooner or later people are in each others faces, flipping each other off, and now with most states having concealed carry somebody draws a gun.

Guns seem to be everywhere these days. Children get access to guns at home and tote them to school and the next thing you know we are reading in the paper that three-four or  maybe a dozen or more are dead in some school.

I confess that this sign this morning really brought to mind how many places that are not safe.  We hear of gunmen in Offices, Malls, Theaters and this says nothing of domestic violence in our homes where the perpetrator and the victim actually know each other.

I confess I think of places like Syria and Afghanistan and wonder what they would think about safe zones or houses that people could flea to to safety. Wouldn't they all be there? We aren't a nation at war with an occupying army... or are we? Have we become our own enemy?

What is safe? Where is it? I confess this is becoming  unclear. We are a terribly polarized nation. For a country that is supposed to be a shining example of freedom, so many are ready to tell everyone else what is right and what is wrong. Who we can marry, who we can worship, what personal health care their employees should have. Where we have to pray.

I confess that I have no answer to the question, how do we become a caring and unified nation again? Maybe we never were. Perhaps this nation was all smoke and mirrors. But I do know that it is too easy for people to get their hands on firearms.

I confess that next week I will still likely be wondering about the irony of an America that needs to designate safe places for children to run to. And where do the victim of domestic violence go, where to the children trapped in a room with a gunman go, or a Shopping Mall or a late night movie at a theater?

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Reclaiming My Office

The past few weeks I have been in the process of reclaiming my office.  This was vacated when my daughter Meghan and her husband Brandon came here post college until they could get work and save for a place of their own.

Note the San Francisco Giants banner - re-personalizing it one of the first acts that has to occur. Actually I plan for everything to be pretty functional by tonight.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Confession Tuesday - On the ledge edition

Dear Readers:

It's been a week since my last confession. I've impressed myself that I'm here on time.

This past week I stepped out on a ledge so to speak.  I've been toying with trying watercolors and acrylics. I painted in oils when I was a teenager but not since them and we are talking  oh about  #@ years.  So I've had material that I purchased about a month ago and I've wavered back and forth between starting with watercolor at one point and acrylic and finally back to watercolor. I don't really have a reason that I can put my finger one for what I decided to start with, but I'm pretty sure that the wavering was simply procrastination to stave off the fear that I had of actually putting  the brush to the paint and then onto the medium.

I confess that when I pulled out the material the week and finally started, I felt a tiny bit of success. Not so much in what I did (generally I am just working on some technique exercises) but I felt some success in meeting my fear head on. This is a good thing. No?

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit unhappy with my writing these past few days and I confess that I am wondering if it is due to divided attention. I suppose it could be, or it could be me just trying whip up another reason to engage in fear.

I confess that I ready to continue to tackle my fears this next week and not let them own me. I will continue to work on some painting and I will write and write and write through this period until I again feel that  what I'm getting on the page is worthy.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

MAG 190


Dog by scavangercat808
 
 
My Parallel Universe
another world out there
framed in my view— 
a world of ruckus
fast moving cars
I can chase
only in my imagination 
a postman strolls unflinched
oblivious to my bark
 
children chasing balls
will pass and give a nod
hey you they offer
no hand to pat my head 
there are noises
I can’t even identify
people   cats   birds
smells the permeate
my universe 
I know these things exist
all beyond my reach



Michael A. Wells


The Mag



Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Confession Tuesday - The Naked Truth Edition

Tuesday has come... Hey, I'm on time!  It's been a long day so Let's head to the confessional.

Dear Reader:

It's been a long day because I left the office and drove to northland looking for a PetsMart before going to a poetry group meeting. Then I made a stop by my office again before returning home.

When I left work I went looking for a PetsMart that I have never been to before. The driving instructions looked easy enough but  the roads were a nightmare, with roundabouts and loops that went in circles.  It was during this state of mental confusion that I realized I had left my cell phone at the office. At this point  I am both stressed that I can't find the pet store AND that I don't have my phone.  While I don't consider myself a legitimate techie I felt like I was naked without my cell.  I considered driving back to the office but that would make me late for poetry so with a big old sigh, I moved on arriving at the group meeting  on time.

Did I put the missing phone behind me once we started? Of course not! Doing that would be a healthy rational thing to do. I confess it is time like this that my body screams stress!!!!!!!!!!

When we were finished, I hit a drive through to get  some food and then to my office. I go through security and take the elevator up and onto a pitch black floor where I play bind mans bluff all the way to the door, insert the key after several tries I'm in. I retrieve my phone that was right where I left it, tethered to my  PC to charge. With the PC off, it was not charging and by now was dead.

I could have put the phone out of my mind during the meeting. I could have even gone one home, the phone would be there awaiting me in the morning but no, I'm not that kind of person. I confess that sometimes I wish I could be that person.

I don't leave my phone behind often and this is a good thing because it truly unnerves me.  I confess that  I know it would probably be a positive thing if I left my phone behind intentionally and allowed myself to simply take a deep breath and let it roll off me.

Do you  have something you find it hard to be without?  I'd love to hear about what leave you feeling  naked.

Sunday, October 06, 2013

The Mag 189

 
Photo credit crilleb50
 
 
RUMINATION
 
The ticking-
the constant ever after ticking.
I sit for this
I sit for that
it weighs one the mind
it bends at the heart
 
of it all, I see no reason
I hear no rhyme.
I do not cherish this passage
of time-
 
after which I know nothing of.
The grass it grows
and flowers and blooms
and goes to seed-
My knees ache
 
all the while I ruminate;
then conjugate things
of despair-
 
things I remember
that brought me here-
those that were painful
and some that were dear.
 
this ticking continues
I suppose that is good-
it's all quite foggy now
like I knew would.  
 
 
 
Michael A. Wells