Confession Tuesday - Mail Edition

Hill of Slane - County Meath, Ireland

Dear Reader:

It's been one new, rear hatch door on my Scion, another  April - Poetry month has gone by,  a mixed bag of good on writing a poem a day in April, a mixed record of 13 wins and 8 losses for my San Francisco Giants, a somewhat improved left knee, not very good news at the dentists, a cool card from a friend, and 3 weeks since my last confession. 

Let me start with the card. On the left is a photo attached to a homemade card from someone who I believe I first had contact with several years ago as a result of an April - Poetry Month Book give-a-way. This kind person sent me this card wishing me a happy Easter, it went back to her because we had moved and the post office did not forward it.  She messaged me for my new address and resent it. There was a personal note in it, she shared a story about visiting the 9-11 memorial and enclosed a SF Giants window decal. Marianne is aware of my love of baseball and all things SF Giants.

Postal mail has changed so much over the years. I remember the dreaded reach into the mailbox expecting dreaded bills and junk mail. An occasional letter but those were infrequent. If I was lucky there would be a new book I had ordered. They always give me a thrill when they arrive.

Over the years the mail has changed. Drastically so.  In fact, I rarely if ever get so much as a bill in the mail these days. I'm not complaining. Part of that is because I have almost no bills any longer, but also because account statements are usually available to me online. What I do get, is an ever-increasing amount of junk mail. This mail offers me everything from hearing aids to timeshare get-aways. There are siding offers, new windows, funeral plans, car deals, and God knows what I've pitched without delving too deeply int to specifics. Rarely do I ever receive personal mail. Again, the arrival of a new book is about as good as it gets.

I doubt that my mail situation is much different from my neighbors, you, or anyone else. I don't believe this is unique. Sadly, it is a sign of the times. I long for the days that poets & writers wrote to others about their trade. Getting this card was a pleasant deviation from the sad commentary of what the mail has become. It made my day.

I confess that I did not write 30 poem drafts in April. Sometimes it happens that I do, but sometimes I fall short. What I can say, is that I have a few drafts that are keepers and may once cleaned up a bit, will be looking for homes.  So, I won't say that the April exercise was a failure. I will say that it fell short of expectations.  Or maybe plans is a more accurate description.

I confess that  My left knee is much better, but not 100%.

I confess that today I am off from work and I have received no less than 4 solicitation calls to my cell that is on the Do-Not-Call list. This has really ticked me off. They all start with how are you today and my response is, that depends on who you are and why you are calling. I get in my curmudgeon mode. Usually, I don't answer if I don't know the number, but I was anticipating a call that would likely have been a number unknown to me.

I'm totally angry with our government and I confess that I don't see much good coming of it until we can change what we've got.

As you can see, I am a bit cranky today. Hot weather will do that to me, but so will ignorant as well as unethical public officials,  as well as unwanted calls from solicitors.

On that note, I will sign off and hope that tomorrow Michael is less cranky.

Have a safe week, everyone.

Confession Tuesday, - NaPoWriMo 2018 Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been a dreary two weeks since my last confession. I think I may have seen sunshine twice, but I'm a little sketchy on it because it's been so long I'm not totally certain what it looks like.

Lent has come and gone, Easter has come, but we are still technically in the Easter season and spring is here. Spring and baseball. Ah, baseball. I confess that baseball, life, and poetry all three mirror each other. At least that is my perspective.  They all lean heavy on surprises. The seeing eye single that sort of rolls through the infield uninhibited for a base hit, when there are two outs, and 3-2 count wit hone of the lesser strong hitters at the plate. Or when the pitcher, faced with runners in scoring position strikes out the next three batters who all happen to be the heart of the order. Or the poem that started out of nowhere and ended in a manner in which the poet her/himself could not even have imagined. And there is life itself, that just throws any and everything your way. Coincidence that baseball and April both are a part of spring? I think not. April is national poetry month. I've already seen more than one smooth 6-4-3 double play and we are only 4 days in.

So, I am doing NaPoWriMo 2018. I'm posting the poems on a private Facebook group page that is set up especially for this annual event, that way the poem drafts are not published for public view and can be treated as unpublished should we decide to submit one or more to a journal. I confess that sometimes it's rather easy to do this and other times it is excruciatingly painful.  Some of it has to do with what else is going on that day and less to do with flushing the poem itself out into the world. But there are days the later is the problem.

The knee issue that I have written about in past weeks remains a problem. Just today I was back to bee my primary care and we are going to do X-rays and knee specialist. I'm told this guy is the "Rock-Star of Knees" -LOL.  I confess that I'm sort of tired of feeling like I am dragging my left knee around.

I have been writing a lot these past ten days or so. Some of it I believe is inspired by going to AWP18 and part is reading a lot more really good work by others. That always inspires me.  When I read other works, I confess it tends to pull me away from writing safe stuff. I suppose because when I am cranking out something boring, something that I see is not extraordinary, it causes me to stop and ask myself what and why am I writing? I truly believe that anyone who is not reading other people's work has no business writing.

My downfall of late is not submitting enough. I confess I know full well that I need to go back to my Submission Saturday every single week.

I'm all confessed out. Until next time, be safe, be kind, enjoy life!

WALL TO WALL POETRY - NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

It's National Poetry Month and NaPoWriMo month as well. I typically struggle about committing to NaPoWriMo as I have a sort of love/hate relationship with it.  I don't really care for the pressure to create because I feel that it conflicts with the best physical and mental dynamic for good writing. I have no problem writing daily and I strongly believe in it. But saying I'm writing a poem every day of the month is a lot of pressure.

There are days it comes easy. There are days & nights that it's tough to birth a poem no matter how hard you try. I consider these all poem drafts because rarely do I ever write a poem in a single setting. I generally try to get something that shows enough promise to be a keeper - something that can be improved over time. But for the sake of NaPaWriMo, these are poems in the most primitive context.

If after 30 days I have 30 poems and 6 or 8 are real keepers, then that's an outstanding month. That is the bar I'm setting this year.

I am posting my daily work on a private poetry forum. This gives me some accountability and allows for some feedback but at the same time is is off the beaten path of the Internet so that the work is not truly published and I am free to work on these pieces for possible submissions down the road.

Are you participating?  How do you approach it.?

I intend to be very active on my blog this month.  Tomorrow is my normal day for Confession Tuesday. It's been almost a year since I did my last Poet Crush List. I'll be updating that list as part of my Confession.

To Think of Summer

[For today's prompt, take the phrase "To (blank)," replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write the poem. Some examples: "To the left, to the left," "To write or not to write," "To Kill a Hummingbird," "To the Doghouse," etc. There are so many possibilities.]


There you are—
on the wings of summer

wind in your hair
Marigolds everywhere

sunshine falls across your face
brown eyes shine without a care

you entice seemingly
without even knowing

I think you wear summer
best of all

Body and Mind

[For today's prompt, write a science poem. Science encompasses a lot, so your poem doesn't have to be scientific to still be a science poem. For instance, you could have a poem titled something like "The Science of Love," and then examine a relationship. Voila! A science poem! Of course, it'll be interesting to see how many poets talk about volcanoes and single cell organisms, not to mention finding out how many "mad scientists" are out there.]


"every cell in your body is eavesdropping on the brain" ~ Deepak Chopra

Every cell?
The cells in the second joint
of my left pinkie finger?

This idea of "smart cells"
poses a whole new bioethics.

If I knew full well
that it's unlawful to drive drunk,
then falling off the wagon
and operating a vehicle
is more than a lapse of judgment.
My legs and feet that did not walk away
knew, my hand that kept
raising the beer can had knowledge—
so many cell co-opted in this—
they could have intervened
but failed to.

Somehow
this makes any transgression
seem worse. Let's face it,
your whole body
was into the act.

When I was told no more cookies
before dinner and then caught
in the cookie jar, had my had slapped…
it deserved it, for it too was culpable,
as were my shins and elbows—
hell, poke my eyes for good measure
and ground my sperm!
They all were in on it.

Knowledge is a heavy responsibility.
My whole body is convulsing at my thoughts

Deadline

[For today's prompt, write a deadline poem. You can interpret what a deadline poem is however you wish. Maybe it's a poem that laments the idea of deadlines. Maybe it's a poem about someone intentionally missing them or who never has problems with them (I wish I were that person). Regardless of how you take it, remember that you have until tomorrow before another prompt will be posted. Consider that your poetic deadline.]




In an urban trauma center
a gunshot victim
becomes just a portion
of the 2 am bedlam—

the changing of the guard;
EMTs hand off the victim
to the hospital staff—

in a hurried continuum
down a corridor
throw swinging doors
now under bright lights
the crimson soaked shirt
is cut away—

bags to IV tubes refreshed,
monitor hooked up,
orders shouted like barking
from competing street vendors

from here it looks like chaos
but the movement is routine
as a well practiced fire drill.
This is the fifth or sixth gunshot
this week— I lose count
and it’s only Thursday.

“We’re losing him” shouts a voice…
“Stand back,” comes another.
“Clear!” things become
slow motion here. Another,
“clear!”

The red line on the monitor flattens out—
They've reached another deadline;
“Time of death 2:32 a.m.”

On Death

[Maybe it's a little too close to tax day, but today's prompt is to write a death poem. You can write about a specific death or consider death as an idea. In the tradition of Emily Dickinson (and other poets), you could even address Death as an entity. Or you can surprise us with a different spin on the subject.]



From birth we commence
with dying. —with no understanding
of this fact or knowledge of what death is.


Our life is wrought with death daily,
we experience it in little things—


first, cheap toys that that break down
and leave us…


the randomness of an ant crushed
under our feet…


the spider your mother took out
with the sole of her shoe…


the naked baby bird
fallen from a nest— it's beak open
it's neck broken.


It becomes more personal
with the death of a pet. A dog
or cat, or turtle… something to which
we've grown attached
up and dies…


and we learn
the deeper meaning of sadness—
more profound than the plastic decoder ring
that was broken and thrown out;
and I think


each time we see death
the world dies a little bit more
for what has passed on


and as children we are often spared
the trip to the funeral home because we are
so young; but at what point…
at what point do any of us
achieve understanding? At what point
do we suddenly have a comfort level?
I think never…


for death stalks us
day in
day out—


it will wait for us.

Jeweled Island

[For today's prompt, take the phrase "(blank) Island," replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write the poem. You could do a well-known island, such as "Treasure Island," "Ellis Island," or "Total Drama Island." Or you could make up the name of an island. Or you could even have a long drawn out title, such as "You'll never get me on an island" or "If I were on a deserted island."]



Jeweled Island



The beaches, vast in topaz crumbs
sparkle against the morning sunlight
and the deep blue waters ripple in
with a white foam tide.

Coconut trees are heavy with
fire opal fruit and near by
yellow tourmaline bananas
dangle above us.

In the distance, beyond
the lush jaded grasses
mountains of blood stone
and onyx rise high into the sky—

some snowcapped in diamond.

LOVE

[Two for Tuesday time!  Here are today's two prompts:
1. Write a love poem.  2. Write an anti-love poem.]


Love—

feels like a silky blanket
or binky that pacifies—

it's the best fitting jeans we've ever had—

the shoes you almost forget
are on your feet.



Love is—

the exhilaration of free fall—

invigorating as standing beneath
a cascade—

cool as a tall glass of iced tea
on a summer day—

warm as a hot coco & marshmallows
on a winter night—

it can rage like a forest fire engulfing—

it can race the heart at a 1000 RPM—

but even then, it is the peace that breaks out
like a rash inside you.

San Francisco

[For today's prompt, pick a city, make that the title of your poem, and write a poem. Your poem can praise or belittle the city. Your poem could be about the city or about the people of the city. Your poem could even have seemingly nothing to do with the city. But the simple act of picking a city will set the mood (to a certain degree), so choose wisely.]



It’s like an island connected
to land. It has bay, ocean and mountains.
It feels tropical in some ways—
with palms, still modern and filled
with culture and all things urban.

There is a staggering beauty
from the Pacific coast
to the downtown skyline
with the Transamerica Pyramid
towering high above.

The bridges are spectacular
Golden Gate shrouded often
in a mystique of fog.
The low lying San Mateo
stretches out for an eternity
across the bay
linking east and west.

The weather is most congenial
cool breezes and shirtsleeve warmth
most days.
The city is alive in ways
most cities never imagine—
trolley or the wharfs
people move about
consigned from boredom.

A sunset any direction
is staggering—
you cannot deny
God’s poetic thumbprint.

Confession Tuesday

Tuesday’s come like clockwork now. That’s a crazy statement. Nothing has changed, just my perception.


It’s off to the confessional~


Dear Reader- I’ve been doing NaPoWriMo this month and I’ve cheated. No, I’m not stealing others writers work or anything like that, but I confess I’ve gotten into a pattern of starting late in the day on a poem and finishing it the next. This has happened several times and I keep looking over my shoulder to see it the poetry police a lurking behind.

I could say that I generally keep them within a 24 hour period it’s just that sometimes they straddle the timeline of calendar days. ~0~

While on the subject of NaPoWriMo I have other confessions to make.

• I confess that sometimes I really don’t like a prompt and I find that generally sets my mood and tone and tends to guarantee that I will not like what I write.
• I confess too that while I’ve been posting everything to my blog I don’t really like doing this. This stuff is much too raw to be considered poetry in my view and I prefer not to be judged by readers on it.
• This brings up another confession about my poems and my blog. Usually when I post a poem on my blog I’m sad to say it is not my best work even when we are not in NaPoWriMo mode. If it’s all that good I want to submit it elsewhere. If it’s all that bad, I don’t want to post it at all. So what gets posted is something teetering on the edge. This whole thing bothers me. ~0~

I confess too that I am overly tired this week. I’ve been dog sitting for someone out of town and so that has put me between work, home and a third location. More driving is required and it makes for a disrupted schedule. I don’t mind helping out… I’m certainly not intending this to come off as complaining, just stressing the point of why I’m likely overly tired. At least I hope that is why and not some other health issue. ~0~

My San Francisco Giants baseball team has been playing awesome…. they are 6 and 1! I confess this makes me crazy happy!

Lastly, I confess that I’ve missed being away from Cathy on the nights I’ve been dog sitting.

The Last Poet

[For today's prompt, take the phrase "The Last (blank)," replace the blank with a word or phrase, make that the title of your poem, and then, write the poem. Some examples: "The Last Train," "The Last Kiss," "The Last Time I'll Give Directions to a Complete Stranger," "The Last Dance," etc.] * actually yesterday's prompt, I'm posting late.



If you think poetry is useless,
rather a bore—
and when the subject comes up
you're out the door—
then this poem my friend is just
for you—
it’s about all the things you fail
to realize you do.

The sunset in the western sky
the things you marvel
and question way;
Grand Canyon’s cavernous
cut-a-ways,
and golden wheat tops
that glisten and sway
with wind that howls
and storms that loom;
that darkened glum
on the horizon—

or Pacific surfs
at Monterey
and tides that come
Atlantic’s way…

all these wonders
of which we see
speak to the poet
that is both you
and me.

You may not write
down things profound
but you see them
you know them
they’re all around.

So when this all
comes to an end;
and all about this earth
caves in

be assured
that you too have been
a poet—

the last poet
please turn out
the light.

Sleepless Nights

[For today's prompt, write a horror poem. Make it scary. Make it cheesy. Make it funny. Whatever you do, link it somehow to horror. Who knows? Maybe someone will write the next great raven poem.]   


Sleepless Nights
Under light of the moon
the crackened earth moves
to modest gasps from below—
Dante’s hell whispering hello
unseen by human eyes
the souls like gas rise
their presence felt about
     by
        haunting
                   chilling
                            shout
that tosses and turns us out
of bed

Portrait in a Morning Mirror

[For today's prompt, write a self-portrait poem. Other artists study themselves to create compositions (not all of them exactly flattering either), so it is only natural that poets, who are word artists, write self-portrait poems from time to time. In fact, some poets make self-portrait poetry "their main thing." For at least today, make it yours..]


Peering into the mirror
I see a man in the bottom
of the fifth— two outs.

Brows raised
in seriousness,
intensity— offset

occasionally with a smile
even laughter
often mystifying.

There is a busy energy
about his head…
part bewilderment
part an ordering,
compartmentalizing
blocking off thoughts
in stanzas—
juxtaposing the many
incongruencies
that converge therein.

His eyes Capricorn blown,
earthy—

His hair transformed and still
a work of process.

He sees things as they are
and wonders why – and asks
why not, as to others.

Somewhere deep within
there is a pilot light that burns
the fumes of rage off. Sometimes,
sometimes when the stench
from injustice is too thick,
when things cannot just be burnt off
and the pressure cooker builds
he will not be silent. He will not be.

Rolling Pin

[For today's prompt, pick a tool, make that the title of your poem, and write your poem. There are the more obvious tools, of course: hammer, screwdriver, wrench, etc. But there also less obvious tools and/or specialized tools available as well. Before attacking this poem, you may want to just think about the various possibilities first. Or just write.]





With the flick of a wrist
the checkered cloth came off
the table exposed like a magic trick
down came the muslin cloth
dusted with flour
a lump of dough
and the strong arms of granny
against the handles
of a rolling pin.


With the legs of a runner
transformed to granny’s arms
she would slam the pin
against the dough
and roll forward
a mighty force laid flat
against the putty
flattened like new asphalt
repeated
over
and
over.


Each stroke an advancing army
flattening the territory,
advancing—    resistance weakening.
That’s how I remember granny.

Until The Geese Return

[The prompt for today - Until (blank)  fill in the blank.]



The dogs will bark
at people passing by—

and grass will grow
lush & green in the field
where they would rest
and strut—

the songs of lesser birds
will fill the morning air—

clouds will come and go
without their meticulous V—

the only honking
will be from cars—

and I will anxiously await
the reassurance
their familiarity brings.

Opening Day Crazy

[prompt is a TMI poem. Too Much Information]




So much to do,
to remember,
the winter months
away from the game
numb the mind--



The peanut bag, in shells of course,
ball cap; more then ascetics, got to
protect the face from sun--
score pad… and number two pencil.
Two in fact, check for sharpness
those tiny boxes require thin points
to surgically deliver the precision markings
that can be read when referenced
come September.



Cash, $10 for parking, $5 for program,
three draft bears $21 round up to $25 for tips,
hit dogs $7 for two- that's $47 - from the ATM
make it $50.



Game starts at 3:05,
it's 1:30-- a stop at the bank
and parking… should have left
10 minutes ago.

 Oh… the tickets!

A Brief History Poetic Conception

A parasite in the mind-
sucking off our memory
and replacing it
with the scary
the romantic
the perverted
the beauty of
hallucinogenic
mushrooms
growing in the
bowels of a dirty
mind.


This tequila worm
wiggles its way
into our day or night
or fermenting
over several days
squirming
worming
churning
and learning to be
a figment
a filament
a fantasia
uncontainable

groping for paper
to postulate upon

Partly Naked

His flesh is flush
with innuendo
a part clothed
a part exposed
leaving onlookers
stripped of what
to know

Water

Presumably frozen
upon the moon
filling the depths
of the blue lagoon

Controversy
upon a board
flat lined across the floor
rolling like mercury
under a door
waving to those
upon the shore

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