Confession Tuesday on Wednesday - Bad Habit Edition

This is getting to be embarrassing. It's been one week since my last confession (which was a day late) and here I am again.

Forgive me readers:

Yes it's been a week but I could swear it should be longer so I have even less excuse. I confess I firmly believe it should be Friday. When you think about it that is pretty pathetic since I had a Monday holiday. That on top of a week's vacation!

Travel is tiring to me so the vacation was a bit draining. I confess I love flying but  everything else with travel, time zone changes, the hurry here and hurry there, these things try my patience.

I confess that I am ready to send out some new material this weekend when I do Submission Saturday.It always excites me when I have new material to send out. Still, I can't help it, I worry that I should have tinkered with it longer as soon as it drops into the mailbox or I hit the send button.

I confess I still have dirty clothes from the trip and I need to do laundry tonight.

I confess that I need to get up and let the dogs out as they are looking at me in a most perturbed manor.

Until next week - may all your habits be good ones!

Journal Bits - May

A sampling for me journal this month...

May 2nd - This morning traffic snarled but couldn't keep me away. I arrived in time to resent being here, to resist the start of the day without success.

May 6th - The weekend was uniquely positive in terms of writing...  Three poems accepted for publication within 48 hours is so exciting and unfortunately sets a new bar that I'm sure I will not often reach again - but there is hope like the stars, I can look from the distance and dream.

May 7th - If the sun sets today on my life/I will not disappoint the cartographer/for my journey will be one that is not/subterranean but rallies around/dancing light and open byways.

May 9th - two books in the mail today from Martha Silano - her own The Little Office Of The Immaculate Conception and Radial Symmetry by Katherine Larson. Woot!

May 10th - I tend to isolate things like bird songs/or the lessor popped kernels of corn./Or things my wife says with special emphasis/on the details detached from major points.

May 12th - yesterday I thought a workshop to eight writers... then in the evening I sent out three poems.

Time has been unfriendly to me and I left my sanity in the midst of a new operating system on a computer that is pounding the blood vessels against a phantom anvil inside my head.

May 22nd - In Tempe, AZ for Meghan's wedding - It's been a lazy sort of day... I've finished a poem draft today and got some reading done. Trying to be open to another poem coming to me....

May 23rd  - The bubble wrap is gone/the thing now is just/boxed delight - fragile.

Confession Tuesday - Late

Dear Reader:

It's been a grueling week and a day since my last confession.

I confess the obvious.... I'm a day late.

I'm on vacation - day three now but it hardly seems like it.  I confess that I traveled 1,354 miles more or less to arrive at my destination (Phoenix) yesterday and I am wiped out. I feel as if I could have flapped my arms to get here rather than by jet. Some of that is because my last week at the office was an intense one trying the leave less on the burner for others to deal with and make my return less stressful as well. I confess the latter never seems to work.

The flight on Southwest wasn't too bad. Only a little turbulence in the early going and I expected it given the turbulent weather in the Midwest these past few days. I haven't flown in a while and I generally enjoy it. When I fly I confess I'm a window hog.

I took a brief swim this morning and it did loosen up the stiff mussels. I confess I really am going to need a nap today. I do have some quiet time available for writing and I intend to make use of it.

We are here for my daughter's wedding and I confess that that I am both excited and anxious about it. I'm very happy for her and I want her wedding day to come off perfect. I confess I'm not sure what that would look like, but I have ideas about what it might not look like. I realized they rarely are picture perfect but  I want her memories of it the be good ones. Happy ones. Lots of friends and good time.

I confess I love the scenery in Arizona but hate the heat. How people live here I cannot imagine.

I confess I had diet coke withdrawal earlier but I'm halfway through a 44 oz and doing better now.

My prayers have continued to flow for the people in Moore, Oklahoma. I can only imagine how hard it must be for those homeless there now not to mention families that have lost loved ones.

This morning my cell rang and it was our disposal company with a message that trash pickup next week would be pushed back a day due to the memorial day holiday. Even during vacation, life goes on.

Submission Saturday Starts in 30 Minutes

I've got to shift some files from one laptop to the other or work from my old laptop to do submission Saturday today. Yes, that  ads a layer of work moving stuff, and maybe I'll just use the today to complete this weeks submissions. Still, I do need to get some stuff moved.

It sucks when you have work out that is waiting someplace you'd like to see if  find a home and don't want it to submit it any place else till you here back.  I do a lot of simultaneous submissions but there are pieces that I really want to control more where they might end up. Getting picky I guess.

Confession Tuesday - Busy Week Edition

Dear Reader-

It's been two weeks, three poems accepted, one new laptop and a poetry workshop since my last confession.

I confess that I have this mysterious pain that comes and goes just below my  right waste-line. It's been doing this off and on for a while now and I've gone to the doctor they can offer no explanation so far. Labs are fine, no bladder infection, x-rays show nothing extraordinary. Sometimes I'll go a while with nothing and then the pain can be bad enough to keep me awake parts of the night. It's good to know some of the things that have been ruled out but it remains frustrating just the same.writers

Saturday morning when the sky was bright with invitation I was conducting a poetry writing seminar with 8 writers who could be out soaking up the sun rays but were instead sitting around tables doing writing prompts for three hours. I confess that I was appreciative to have such an attentive group to work with.

My new laptop is an ASUS & it has windows 8 operating system on it. I have been a Tashiba user for  a long time. I did not pick this one out. My wife and computer savvy daughter did. Windows 8 dealt me a fit the first two days. It's still not my favorite platform but I am getting the hang of it.

It's been a pretty good week... And I've had three new poetry books delivered by the postman since the weekend you can't get much better then that.

Poem Up On Punchnel's

My poem titles "Both" appears on Punchnel's today. This is a really interesting venue, an eclectic collection of material. Check it out!  Oh, and click here for my poem.

Feel Good Delivered By E-Mail

It's been an exceptionally good weekend for me with two different venues accepting a total of three poems. I think from now on I'd like my acceptances in bunches please.

I know we can't always have what we want but  it really feels good to get several poems accepted over two days as opposed to several rejection letters over two days.

This is just another example of my Submission Saturday venture paying dividends.

Worked on some re-writes today. I'm trying to put together about three more pieces that need some fine tuning so that they can be ready  for prime time too.

Confession Tuesday - feeling life edition...

Tuesday again! Come along to the confessional...

Dear Reader:

It's been a week since my last last confession. Much of that confession dealt with a death watch for my mother-in-law. She has since passed and we put her to rest in a funeral service yesterday. This turned my weekend into a three day weekend and I confess I believe we all in this household were worn down by the weeks leading up to this. 

I confess that the service was short but nice. The weather preformed perfectly and it added an uplifting element.  But this is now past. Life goes on.

I confess that  the "life" part of that is what I want to focus on. I confess too that I want to feel life more deeply. I want not to miss any part of it. I want to be passionate about life. I want to see more art in life, sing more songs and read more lines of poetry into each minute of the day. 

Praise be to Life!

Amen!

Why Poetry Can be About Anything

"Anything one does every day is important and imposing and anywhere one lives is interesting  and beautiful." - Gertrude Stine

Confession Tuesday - stalking death edition

To the confessional....

Dear reader:

Tuesday night and I've just got home a short while ago. It's been a long-long week since my last confession and I'm ready to get this over with so I can put it behind me and move on and unwind tonight.

My wife used to talk about driving a fast 45 MPH  or a slow 45 MPH. But 45 is 45 right? I guess it's kind of like time. Twenty-four hours is twenty-four hours and yet some days seem like an eternity, and extrapolated a week of those kind of days are like, a week of eternities. My mother-in-law decided to stop dialysis recently and of course the result of that is that the body will finally shut down, death becomes imminent. Her decision has dictated much of the past ten days or so.  My wife has been dutifully at here bedside some of every day. In many instances spending the night with her. I've watched her (my wife) attempt to find some degree of normalcy each day where there is nothing normal. I know this is far more difficult for her then myself, but I confess it's not easy to watch my wife go through this with her.

There have been several times that we thought, or someone would convinces us that it was her time.  Her time has really been taking it's time. I got a call from her today at work and rushed home to run her out there. She had not planned to go out till tonight but they called from the care facility to tell us they though the family should come out. On of here brothers had been there all day and they had been in touch throughout the day.
Oh, and they said they were putting out refreshments for the family. Refreshments?  Really? I confess this seems a little circus like.

We went out and were joined by other family members. Honestly she looked pretty good. Her breathing pace has slowed but she was not breathing labored. She is in a sleep. Some occasional facial expression changes though not many. She once sort of squinted open her eyes. Cathy ended up staying the night (as she had planned) but she and I agree, Mom is not looking like tonight is the night.

There are aspects of our life that seem on hold. Only because of the uncertainty of the end time. Each day is another possibility. I know Cathy hopes it is sooner then later. She has at times asked me to pray that it comes soon. I confess that I feel uneasy with such prayers.

In the meantime, death (a subject that clearly takes me outside my comfort zone) seems to dominate my day and night and I have no control over it.

  

Submission Saturday

It's been a morning of submission. Normally I submissive to the publication Gods in the afternoon on Saturdays but I did a morning gig today and it feels good to have it over with.

One rejection letter so far this week. It was a journal I had not tried before.

I have a poem that I am nearly ready to move out of the draft garage this week and park it with the other work that I submit from.  I've got several    drafts that are keepers that are approaching that same nearly ready for prime time status but I don't like to push these along too fast as much as I'd like to.  I have I've always believed in that I've sent to several journals without success and I am thinking of messing around with it some more to see if I can get a new perspective on it before I send it out again.

Confession Tuesday - petty anger edition

Dear Reader:

I confess that I did  not confess last Tuesday and I don't remember for sure why - except that it has been a crazy time these past  week to 10 days and if I would pick most any night last week I could tell you with certainty I was exhausted and on low function by the time I got home most evenings.

I finished off a journal, switched out the copy with a refill from my journal binder yesterday. I confess a brand new journal refill always leaves me feeling fresh and hopeful. I'm weird that way. I guess my hope is that the new journal will have smoother flowing hand writing, less crossed out or scribbled things, and perhaps more interesting writing in it. See how naive I can be?

Sooner or later it was bound to happen... I fell off the NaPoWriMo wagon this week. THIS is why I don't like doing it. This is the same reason I dislike New Years resolutions. What part of doomed do people (me) not get?  I am however going to move forward writing a poem today and hope that over the next week I can catch up and finish out the month with 30 poem drafts. No promises though...

This morning my wife dropped me off at work and kept the car so that she could drive out an check o her mother in the nursing home. I saw that someone was in my designated parking spot in the lot. I have to tell you that I was angry about this, even though I was not going to need the spot today. Sitting at my desk, I was fuming about it until I started feeling petty about it. Then I confess that I rationalized that the driver (who has been warned this is designated parking) had no idea that I would not be driving today and still had the nerve to take the spot. But then I felt petty again.

The Tax Culture & Finding a Little Happiness

I did my taxes last night. The past two years I've gotten them done early but the important thing is they are finished and filed two days before the deadline. It's that deadline that I'm writing about today.

April 15th is a day the tends to resonate in the mind of Americans. It's a date that's particularly memorable to us. Ask a married couple what day he/or she proposed and they often won't know right off. What day is Tax Day? April 15. Bang... right away they know the answer.

In American culture taxes have become tied to death as two things you can't get out of. It's no wonder April 15 has become such a dreaded but easily remembered day. In recent years various businesses have played on this trying to evoke some cheer and pleasure in the lives of ordinary people by offering give-a-ways... food and other items of cheer.

This year I've searched for some of the Tax Day Perks and found some interesting things.

• Between 6PM and 8PM stop by participating Cinnabon  bakeries and get free Cinnabon bites.  A little sweet to make you smile. 
• Arby's offers curly fries & potato cakes all day Tax Day with coupon. This is their third annual give-a-way & what's better on such a day then comfort food? 
• Office Depot will do up to 5 lbs of shredding for free with coupon on Tax Day
• Get a Tax Day Rib-bate for 2 for $10.40 
• White Castle - 15% off entire purchase on Tax Day with coupon.
• Free HydroMassage on Tax Day through April 19 with  coupon..
• Sorry, this was for early filers but In LA and San Francisco you could get a "brand new" Trojan Vibrator while supplies last on Thursday and Friday. (Glad they were new). Anyway, this stimulus package may be the most innovative yet.  

So if you are feeling blue, and your pockets are now empty, you can find a few ways to pick yourself up after you've paid your taxes. 

Thought for the Day

The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. ~ Paul Valery

Heard any good Metaphors?

"Metaphor sleeps around." ~ Alfred Corn 

Celebrating Poetry

While National Poetry Month is relatively new I will share a like to The Academy of American Poets web site where they feature a list of 30 WAYS TO CELEBRATE. I'm sure everyone can find as couple of ideas on now to make this month one of enrichment for themselves and others.

Meanwhile I've completed poem #3 on the third day of NaPoWriMo so I've not fallen off the wagon yet. (fingers crossed)

Recalling Dana Gioia's book of essays, "Can Poetry Matter?" I give you the following link to a Chicago Tribune story on Maj.General John Borling who writes poetry of survival.

Have you written or shared a poem today?

Confession Tuesday - Poet Crush List Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been  one Giants Baseball regular season game, 6 & a half innings of another, one NaPoWriMo poem and  one one week since my last confession. 

April is that cruel month when some of us inflict the agony of 30 poems in 30 days on ourselves. I confess that I've stepped knee deep into this madness again this year. Some years I avoid the pressure and other times I just plunge right in. This is a plunge year.

This month being National Poetry month I though it would be a good time to update my Poet Crush List. I started doing this some time back and I believe the last time I did it was like May of last year. So almost a year and being April I thought it would be a good time to revisit the Crush List and revise it. As writers, we are supposed to be all about revision  aren't we? 

So my Poet Crush list is comprised of ten  living poets. If I would do this three or four times a year it would likely  fluctuate back and forth like undulating waves coming ashore sometimes what's left behind is familiar and sometimes it's new. With that in mind I will give you the new list and my last list. 

NEW LIST  - April 2013 
I Confess these poets rock my world!!!

1. Mary Biddinger
2. Dean Young
3. John Ashbery
4. Denise Duhamel (new to List)
5. Kelli Russell Agodon
6. Stephen Dunn (new to list)
7. Sharon Olds
8. Natasha D. Tretheway (new to List)
9. Diane Ackerman (new to List)
10. W. S. Merwin

PREVIOUS LIST - May 2012

I Confess these poets rocked my world last May

1. W. S. Merwin
2. James Richardson
3. Sharon Olds
4. Kelli Russell Agodon
5. Dean Young
6. John Ashbery
7. Mary Biddinger
8. Ada Limon
9. Charles Simic
10. Beth Ann Fennelly

Later this week, what makes these poets special...

Amen!

WALL TO WALL POETRY - NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

It's National Poetry Month and NaPoWriMo month as well. I typically struggle about committing to NaPoWriMo as I have a sort of love/hate relationship with it.  I don't really care for the pressure to create because I feel that it conflicts with the best physical and mental dynamic for good writing. I have no problem writing daily and I strongly believe in it. But saying I'm writing a poem every day of the month is a lot of pressure.

There are days it comes easy. There are days & nights that it's tough to birth a poem no matter how hard you try. I consider these all poem drafts because rarely do I ever write a poem in a single setting. I generally try to get something that shows enough promise to be a keeper - something that can be improved over time. But for the sake of NaPaWriMo, these are poems in the most primitive context.

If after 30 days I have 30 poems and 6 or 8 are real keepers, then that's an outstanding month. That is the bar I'm setting this year.

I am posting my daily work on a private poetry forum. This gives me some accountability and allows for some feedback but at the same time is is off the beaten path of the Internet so that the work is not truly published and I am free to work on these pieces for possible submissions down the road.

Are you participating?  How do you approach it.?

I intend to be very active on my blog this month.  Tomorrow is my normal day for Confession Tuesday. It's been almost a year since I did my last Poet Crush List. I'll be updating that list as part of my Confession.

Dragonfly

Surround the summit
in flight
in exacerbation of wingspan
a sentinel aloft 

Confession Tuesday

Dear Reader:

It's Tuesday again.. another week since my last confession.

It's been a strange evening. I came home and fixed dinner grabbed a couple books and settled in to read. I confess I still have these books beside me hours later and I've basically been in a TV trance.
Somehow I've managed to settle a lesser form of mental stimulation.  I'm not proud about it.

I was saddened this week by the death of Walt Bodine a long time local radio personality. I think Walt was 92. I confess I used to stay up late listening to his call in program as a young teen. His program was always so eclectic. 

I've has this uncanny mental thing going on where it seems I'm seeing poems in all these different things around me. At least segments of poems. I confess I've  been swishing these thoughts around trying to keep them straight so that I might be able to get these down on paper before they evaporate.

That's it for tonight, wishing you all a great week.

Amen~