Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Confession Tuesday

Sometimes I think that reaching Tuesday is like hitting another milestone on your odometer- you’re driving down the road and note that it just rolled past 55,000, and soon it’s 80,000. Next thing you know you reach 100,000 and everyone in the car is doing a foot dance to celebrate. Then, 150,000 and 175,000 and now you aren’t dancing but praying.
It’s confession time…
Dear reader-
It’s been another week and so many miles of life since my last confession.
Fall is an interesting time of year because it seems to be about slowing down. Darkness comes earlier and it seems that this draws the day out because you are up during a darker period of time longer than normal. Fall is also a perceived changing of the guard. Summer is dying off and you know the trees will soon be bare and their tentacles will rake the sky till the snow falls and the cold northwest winds choke off nature. In spite of all this doom and gloom, fall is not without grace and beauty and I keep trying to tell myself this— even as the baseball season vanishes and with most other forms of life.
This past weekend I confess I was depressed, even as my San Francisco Giants survived to reach the playoffs. My head felt like it was clogged with fog in all of its grayscale colorless form. Later, that gray would set like cement into the worst headache to carry around. I realize I’ve spent more time inside lately then out and I don’t suppose that has helped. Still, it is that time of the year that I battle this more than any other.
On Sunday there was an outside poetry / art event that I was thinking I would attend, but in the end I stayed home to watch the Giants game. I confess that my decision was based upon the fact that poetry events come and go, but it’s not every year your team makes the playoffs.
Any hope of this improving as we started a new week vanished yesterday as I learned that a coworker battling a terminal illness passed away over the weekend. While I suppose it was not that I never anticipated it, the last contact we had left no indication it would be so soon. I was stunned. Everyone was stunned.
Everyone have a great week and be safe!

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