Good Days - Bad Days. Finding Happiness

What constitutes a good day to you? I'm not talking about a good day of writing, I'm speaking in more general terms. Of course for a writer a good writing session may well contribute to a overall positive view of your day but there are likely any number of factors that may well contribute to your view of how that day was when the sun goes down.

Late fall and winter are times when I am prone to feel blue. I'm not exactly sure that feeling blue is an automatic bad day. You see there are positive things that can happen on a day when I at a low ebb emotionally.

I have started not long ago to track my days in terms of the degree to which they are good.  I discovered an application on Chrome that I am using both to help define a good day and to track what kind of a day I had.

The application I'm speaking of can be found at illuum.com.

The rating schedule runs from 1 to 9.

• 1- The Worst. You bought the rope but couldn't be bothered to learn how to tie the knot.
• 2- Almost the Worst. You spent the day wondering if you should put your head in the oven or drown in a lake.
• 3 - A Bad Day. It rained, you spilled your coffee, you got yelled at, a dog ate your face, etc.
• 4 - Slightly Below Average. Work Sucked, but there was something good on TV.
• 5 - Average. At no time did you feel particularly happy or sad you just carried on with the routine. 
• 6 - Slightly Above Average. Generally monotonous, but maybe you had one conversation/idea/meal that made you smile.
• 7 - A Good Day. Smiles all around you. You went through your day enjoying everything you did. 
• 8 - A Great Day. Generally good, but something amazing  / memorable happened. A kiss, a party, a trip, an epiphany. 
• 9 -  Awesomeness! You bounded out of bed, had adventures, enjoyed your great relationships, ended the day exhausted and satisfied. 

There is a place to put notes as you rate each day. You could list things you did, people you interacted with, places you went, etc. These will the show up in a cloud with the size impacted by the number of reoccurrences.  It will graph your daily rating lineally and provide the frequency of bad days and good days. 

As an example my current frequencies are a good day every 2.4 days and a bad day every 8.7 days. 

I've heard people say you make your own happiness. I believe there is something to this. I've actually been surprised that I tend to score more more frequently at a rate of 6 and second is a tie between 7 and 8.   Out of  26 days rated I was happy 11 days, content 12 and sad 3. Now I know we poets are supposed the be eternally depressed so maybe I should not be broadcasting these statistics. 

It will be interesting to see how much / if this flatmates at times during the year.  By rating the day, sometimes it forces me to acknowledge that the day was not so bad. Maybe we do make our own happiness. 

Confession Tuesday Stranger than Fiction Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been one leafy lawn week since my last confession.

To the Confessional:

I confess that last week I was looking at the giant maple in our front yard, then the lawn, and thinking, not many leaves in the yard.  This morning as I left for work I looked at the lawn then the tree and thought - ah, not many leaves on the tree.

I confess that sourdough bread toasted with butter and orange marmalade seems like it was just meant to me.

I confess I'm thinking that based upon what we know thus far about the General David Petraues scandal that the e-mail between the two women sounded more  like junior high students then a threat. "I saw what you did under the table." Really?

I confess that the story of the 28 year old woman who allegedly ran over her husband because he didn't vote and Romney lost the election was just a bit on the wacko side. I confessed that if you had asked me what state this happened in there was a good chance I would have guessed correctly Arizona. If I hadn't know the woman was only 28, I might have incorrectly guessed her name was Jan.

I confess that I realized this week my books I want to read/buy list is growing exponentially.  Good news for booksellers, bad news for my budget.

I confess that some days I feel like I should be writing a "running with scissors" sort of memoir but then in the same breath I think how boring it would be.

I confess that while I was sick this past week I had weird dreams at night. One involved a modern version of a Volkswagen Westfalia bus that flew which only made me nostalgic for our Westfalia that didn't fly and sometimes wouldn't even run.

I confess that I have been working to assemble work into a poetry manuscript.  I confess I've heard one to many people ask what has taken so long. I also confess that I have started to do this in the past and it has been hampered by a variety of forms of procrastination, self-criticism, and a hint of reality.

I confess I have been using an application called illuum to track happiness and varying degrees of it. It's been fascinating to see patterns to good days and bad days plus the frequency of good days. I actually plan to blog about this in the near future.

I confess that's all for today and I barely got this done in time~

Ceremony by Louise Gluck

Over the years I've come to appreciate Louise Gluck more and more. The first time I read her she just didn't click with me. It was The Wild Iris that sold me on Gluck. It was so different from anything else of hers that I have read and I not only liked it but was impressed with depth and range of her abilities. The Wild Iris was written in something like 9 or 10 weeks and yet there was noting cheap about the writing.

Her work has grown on me and I've even revisited some of the first poems I read of hers and found for many of the a greater appreciation. Today I found one of her poems that I love. It's such a smart write. It is fresh and the whole concept of the poem is so brilliant you (or at least I) wish you had come up with it yourself.

The poem is titled Ceremony and it was published in The New York Times and originally appeared in her collection "Meadowlands" from 1996. You can read Ceremony here.

Remembering Anne Sexton belatedly

"The beautiful feeling after writing a poem is on the whole better even then after sex, and that's saying a lot"

               ~Anne Sexton

Yesterday was Anne Sexton's birthday - I've been sick and not been on my computer for two days so this is a belated remembrance. You cannot talk about those who have left their mark on American Poetry without mentioning her name. 

Confession Tuesday - Post Election Edition

Dear Reader:  I realize it's not Tuesday and have seen some people with their head in a fog this morning, I beg your dispensation at being late. Actually it's been two weeks and a day since my last confession.

I confess that I missed confession here two weeks ago because I was not in an especially confessional mood. We had just put down one of our cats of some 14 years and it was a sudden and totally unexpected event. I've never been good in dealing with the loss of a pet.

Last night I confess was all about the election. Once I was home I was pretty much zoned into returns. You have to understand my political history to understand the nature and degree to which elections are an obsession to me. During the 14 years that I served on the Democratic Committee including the time I was Chairman of the County Democratic Party I considered myself the consummate vote counter.  I elections I was excellent at projecting were needed votes were and how to turn them out.

My blog post from early yesterday indicated my last best assessment on the potential outcome of the presidential election based upon a number of varying polls, my recollection of 2008 returns and what I anticipated the turnouts would be like. Don't get me wrong I'm no Nate Silver. I'm not boy wonder, but I am better then average with such projections.

The results of my election  picks were not bad. I was under the impression that Florida would be won by Romney even as I felt the numbers there were tightening. And while I believed we would win Virginia, I started doubting myself last night. There was no need to doubt in the end.  Ohio I never really questioned and even as I watched it tighter at one point - once I was able to the the county by county returns and realized most of the Republican counties were 100%  reporting or mid to high 80's and the Cuyohoga County (Cleveland) was only reporting 30% with Obama polling 70% to 29% Romney, I figured the slow counting reflected high turnout and recalling that Obama build up a roughly 200,000 vote margin there 4 years ago, I knew in the end the lead would hold.

So yes I was feeling a little nerdy last night. I confess this but with the caveat that this is about as nerdy as I ever get.

I also confess it was fascinating how many people were overly anxious in the early going. In reality I expected that the word would not come as quickly as it did. The worst "general" election nights I have suffered through are of course 2000 but also 1968 (my very first and while I was not old enough to vote in this election I spent a sizable amount of time each evening and on weekends working in the campaign.)

But seriously, there were several people on Facebook that I felt were about to lose it by the time of 9PM poll closings. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone that messaged me during this time (there were several) but I only hope that my responses served as a calming voice of reason. It's easy to be a little calmer if you see early states going to the opponent that you never believed or counted on having in your path to victory. Meanwhile, I'm sure a more casual viewer gets a little shaky to see the other side have six or seven states called for them and your candidate just one.

I confess that more important then calling any state right is the victory.  I don't always have happy predictions. But it's twice as nice to be right and have your candidate win.

My Final Electoral Vote Predictions for 2012

2012 Presidential Election: Electoral Map: This map displays the projections of the sender and does not reflect the opinions of 270toWin.

Early  States to watch -

• Virginia - Obama turned this state blue last time and is hopeful of doing so a again but this one could be very close.
• New Hampshire - only 4 electoral votes  this state is more important to Romney then Obama - Could be close but I expect it to be Democratic in the end. 
• Florida winning this state is likely more critical for Romney then Obama An Obama win here would be very bad news for Romney. Obama can likely lose this one and still have more options to to get to 270. 
• Pennsylvania - Romney has tried to make this in play but it's probably more wishful thinking then anything.
• Iowa - Romney was hopeful of a win here and god the Des Moines Register endorsement still the polls look good for Obama. 
• South Carolina should go to Romney. A loss here spells trouble for Romney. 
• Ohio - Everyone says this is the state to watch, there could be reminders of Florida 2000 when it comes to counting votes here for several reasons I won't go into right now. If Romney wins Ohio then probably  there is an upset in the making. The should be an Obama win when all the dist settles and is counted. Whenever that may be. 

Others of interest -

• Wisconsin with 10 votes will likely go for Obama. Ryan is not likely to help  his running mate that much in his own state. Republicans thought they has a chance here early on, but the GOP awoke a sleeping giant when it took on labor here. 
• Michigan - maybe close but I expect Obama to win.
• Minnesota - I don't know why I'm talking about this state except for Romney's wishful thinking. 
• Colorado - it's all about the Latino vote. Will be a disappointing someone because both sides think they can win this one. My bet is on the side of Obama.
• Nevada - an active labor  vote should mean a win for Obama.  

There you have it -  my predictions.  I believe I only missed one state 4 years ago.  If you click on the link at the beginning you can see my electoral predictions plotted out on a map in Blue and Red.  Settle in and watch the returns with me tonight. 

Persistence and the writer

As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time. - Denis Waitley

Random words for the week

A few words that have hung with me throughout the week. Some I'd like to shake...

• provisional
• bi-partisan
• hour
• smell
• forever
• power
• deadlock
• diet
• service
• litter
• dinner
• sludge
• climate
• conversion
• management

Living Hope

"The world would rather see hope then just hear its song. And that's why statesmen have to smile.Their pearly whites mean they're still full of cheer.The game's complex, the goal's far out of reach, the outcome's still unclear - once in a while,we need a friendly, gleaming set to teeth."                            

         -Wislawa Szymboraska

I think a lot of people are looking for the real manifestation of hope right now and not just the music.  I found these words from the polish poet Wislawa Szymboraska strikingly appropriate for the week we've been through.  Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the curvature of the earth up ahead and we are traveling so fast and furious and something like hurricane Sandy comes along and we apply the breaks but it's too late.  Now everyone tries to put everything back together and the losses are so large. 

Salvaging Books From Water Damage

Did you have books that took a beating from Sandy?   Here's some expert advice about how you might salvage some of them. FIRST SAID FOR WATER DAMAGED BOOKS

Help for Victims of Hurricane Sandy

In the aftermath of the devastation created by Hurricane Sandy this week here are some reputable alternatives for offering help to those in need. These links go directly to the sites of the individual charities.

1. The Humane Society of the United States' Animal Rescue Team is assisting animals and people in the wake of Hurricane Sandy's destruction, and is prepared for ongoing disaster relief after this historic storm. Click here.
2. Catholic Charities Responds to Hurricane Sandy - Click here.
3. New York Cares - Click here

Always be cautious of scams by those posing as raising money for charities.  Best be is to deal with the an individual charity that has a reputation of assisting. Verify information before you give. 

My Giants Win the World Series - but still....

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. - Bart Giamatti

Willow Manor Ball 2012

I'm dressed - anyone know the way to Willow Manor?

The Worst Enemy to Creativity

"And By the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." - Sylvia Plath

Sylvia Plath 80 years later-

Today is the birthday of Sylvia Plath. Plath is perhaps one of the first poet that caught my attention in such a way to interest me in poetry as an avocation. There were poets who I found interesting prior to Plath (Frost for example comes to my mind) but it was Plath that first really spoke to me about the power of language in such a way that I wanted to experience first hand that rich trans-formative process that occurs when one's mind and soul battle in an inner discourse to find the right words for the page.

Ted Hughes once said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that he believes she never failed to finish a poem. She may have started with one idea and ended up somewhere else entirely (who hasn't) but she was seriously driven to by her writing. From biographies and her own journals I know that she was constantly alert to the world around her for - looking for material for her next poem.  I believe this was very much a part of her brilliance. I would say that she lived a poet's life; always a poet in the moment. I believe this is one positive  lesson that writers can take from Sylvia's life.

Imagine-

"There was a time
only certainty gave me
any joy. Imagine -
certainty, a dead thing ."

Louise Gluck  -  Ripe Peach - from The Seven Ages winner of the Bollingen Prize 

Orange October

Hofstra Debate

There we were captives
caught in the vice of heated debate
over our future -

Two grown men-
more or less- and Candy
Crowley in a smack down.

If I even considered going for the frig
or my singing bladder
that all ended in spontaneous intrigue

as Mitt's secret weapon was unveiled
to millions of Americans.  Take that Mr. President!
Do you have binders of women?

Confession Tuesday - Loitering Edition

Dear Reader:

It's Tuesday and I'm going to pull over and quickly unload my confession. It's been one week and I don't exactly know where this is going but I hope I'm not going to be impound.

I confess that I will be one of those watching the Presidential Debate tonight. I also confess that I am not among the undecided. There probably isn't much either candidate could do to change my mind at this point. These two candidates are going to govern from such opposing philosophical views that the decision is not even a close one. I could talk about those and maybe I will between now and the election but I'd rather keep politics out of the confessional. ;)

I've been working with a writing coach for the past three weeks now.  While I've been putting in more writing time it occurred that I have been journaling less. I confess I don't know if this is good or bad. It's at least good that I'm writing more.

My phone has been giving me fits lately. It's a Blackberry and I've had it for quite some time. I've gotten a lot of good out of it but I have actually thought that wen I replace it I might try an iPhone  I confess I've never been excited about iPhone  There is no craze here. One of the few things that I dislike about my Blackberry is that I can't use Instagram.  But there are other options I know. In fact my daughter Meghan switched to a Galaxy III and I admit I've watched a lot of commercial feeds on this phone and quite frankly it's awesome. I confess that I don't care for the thickness of it. It seems perilously fragile but then the iPhone seems that way too.

My Giants were awesome in the Red's series. After falling behind 2 games to none at home they traveled to Cincinnati and needing to will three in a row they did just that. I confess I believe they can take the Cardinals and win the NLCS. This team has a lot of young talent that just doesn't ever stop believing. They are split a game each as they move the St Louis to play game three tomorrow.

Well, it's about time for the debate and I haven't been ticketed and towed yet so I gonna split.

The Mag: Paranormal

Midnight Snack - Curtis Wilson Coast - 1984

The stomach pings

which I ignore. I can

stumble over time 
lost in quiet darkness.
But when the growl comes
heat engulfs the region;
I sit up in flames of hunger.
The body answers 
where the mind holds back.
A light switch finds my hand.
The kitchen acknowledges me
but I will wake in the morning
and know nothing of this.



Michael A. Wells


The Mag 139

A Star!

After a couple days of rain and overcast skies our closest star the Sun has been located. This is of comfort.

The air remains a bit chilled. I can handle this, but I probably won't spend much time in the outdoors anyway. I should (heavy emphasis) get in a walk today. I will try to make time for it. 

As winter is coming I'd like to get our treadmill upstairs and in working order. It's belt has moved cattywampus. I need to be walking at lest three times a week and eliminating anything that creates an obstacle would of course be beneficial. 

I've been writing a lot more. Or at least more focused writing. I've actually been journaling less as a result of concentrating on the more creative.  Speaking of focus, I need to get busy because I've got a number if things I need to accomplish today and there is the Giants playoff that I will have to squeeze in as well. Sunday's always have a sadness about the finality of the weekend. How to I make that go away? 

Confession Tuesday

Dear Reader:  It's been one week since my last confession. A week that saw me hall all the plants inside as the temperatures dropped.

This past week I got a lot of writing done. Over 7 hours and that's actual writing and re-writing drafts... not including journaling or blogging stuff. I confess that I had distractions to deal with but I meet them and worked through. (insert pat on back)  I actually did feel frustrated at times so maybe the pat isn't deserved, but then I did surpass the previous week's writing.

I've decided that I need an art date really soon.  I saw a quote the other day that really hit home with me. I'm sorry to say at the moment I cannot recall the person to give proper credit to but I will try and find it later. For now I'm paraphrasing it... Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. I confess that disturbed rather then comfortable seemed to describe me much of this past week. So I'm feeling especially needy of an art date. I'm pretty certain that it would not hurt my writing one bit.

I am sort us upping the ante on my writing for the rest of the year. I confess that I am in a driven sort of energy mode and I want to keep it up because the fall and winter time of the year are generally tough on my emotions. I'm hopeful that I can channel that into more positive successes in my writing by staying committed and being more focused.

There you have it. Everyone go in peace and I'll be back next Tuesday with another round of confessions. I promise!

Your Brain on Jane Austen

Fascinating NPR story on the question,"If neuroscience could inform literature, could literature inform neuroscience?"  It was found that close reading activated unexpected areas: parts of the brain that are involved in movement and touch. It was as though readers were physically placing themselves within the story as they analyzed it. The whole NPR story HERE.

Emily Dickinson Poetry to Music

My initial sampling of this was I thought spot on as far as tone and delivery. It's an interesting artistic collaboration and it makes me wonder what Emily might think of it all. The songs are the work of Israeli singer-songwriter Efrat Ben Zur. Check it out on BRAINPICKING

Writing and Family Response

HOW TO HELP FRIENDS AND FAMILY UNDERSTAND YOUR WRITING...

I saw this and it stood out like flickering neon. So, naturally I was drawn to read it. [FULL INTERVIEW HERE] The bonus was it's an interview with a poet whose work I greatly admire. 

Mary Biddinger tackles the anxiety that many poet have over family response. I'm not talking about criticism of the quality of one's writing - that could be another whole blog post.  Biddinger talks about the tendency to view what poets have written as autobiographical which can often lead to family and friends reading the poet into the poem literally or perhaps thinking they have been drug into the poem too. Hurt feelings, uncomfortable assumptions. Things less likely to plague an aspiring fiction writer then poet. 

Mary has notion as to what is partly to blame for this problem. It's also interesting to hear her perspective on all of this because she is teaches literature and poetry writing on a University level so she has experienced students who deal with this kind of anxiety but also has the personal contrast of growing up in an art rich family environment that understands the connection of artist to art. 

It's an interesting read. Speaking of which I can't wait to read her next volume of poetry due out this month titled O Holy Insurgency.

Mary Biddinger - Wikipedia 

Mary Biddinger Dot Com

Confession Tuesday - Goose Egg Edition

Dear Readers: It’s been one house color change, one closet clean-out, one crawl space clean-out, one week of writing with another poet’s coaching, another week of Mod Po class and one poem acceptance for publication since my last confession.

 Let’s head to the confessional, shall we? 

Ah, much is going on. In addition to all this there is my day job which has been demanding as usual. I confess that many days it is noon or one o’clock before I realize it. This is usually a pretty good thing because the work can at times seem long and intense. I always appreciate it when I realize that I’m already on the downhill slope to quitting time.

 We are painting our home. Or having it painted is more precise since I’m not dancing on a ladder and flailing my arms about trying not to fall and break my neck or other body parts. I came home last night to see the color for the first time, at least the base color. I confess that I had no idea what color it would be. We have known the painter for years. He did the last painting some 10 years ago. Then we close the colors. We had to budget this since we also needed to do some repairs and keep within budget. We were told that leaving some flexibility would allow the painter to get us a better deal on the price of the paint. Of course that required some degree of trust. What I saw last night I liked.

There has been a lot of activity at home this past week, movement both inside and outside the house. Not the most conducive environment for creative work. I confess that I've fared relatively well all things considered. While not painting, I've done a lot of stuff on the inside of the house. Some others have been more busy then I but all the while there has been commotion. I confess I would love a week of normalcy if such a thing exists. Oh wait… the commotion has been normalcy for us. (Sigh)

I went to listen to a friend of mine read at the Writers Place on Friday. I confess I had not seen Amy in quite a while. It was nice to catch up with her. She is an awesome poet and sometimes when I’m looking to jump-start myself when I’m at a wall in my writing there are several poets that I like to keep a copy of their work close at hand because if I read a poem or two it always reminds me of what’s possible. Amy is one of these poets. Sometime soon I’ll do a special post on poets who inspire me.

I confess that I have NOTHING out in the world being considered. How this happened I don’t know. I cannot ever recall a time since I began submitting work years ago that I had nothing under consideration. I usually get a rejection or an acceptance and have several others pending and promptly shoot work off elsewhere. Getting an acceptance over the weekend I updated my submission tracker and realized with this acceptance I had no more outstanding submissions I was waiting on. I confess this feels like a major lapse. Like you missed an important payment or something… How could this happen? Well I shall get at least one off tonight. I won’t feel right if I don’t.

Journal Bits Week of Sept 24, 2012

Bits of journal entries from the past week.

• Tree branches sway to the choreography of the breeze. 
• My weakness if we must go there/is black walnut ice cream./Black walnut, I love you more than bacon!
• Heavy lines drooped from pole to pole/eventually tied off at buildings/like circus elephants on moorings.
• If I write myself into a poem I don't like will I be able to get out?
• Planted roasted marshmallows in our mouths, then kissed the sticky off each others lips.
• Holding time inappropriately in ones hand.
• I'm tired and feel horribly grungy today...
• Picturing poets playing poker with metaphorical faces. 

Good News....

I like good news... it's the best kind.  Clear out of the blue yesterday I was scrolling down my e-mail on my Blackberry and realized a acceptance e-mail had arrived earlier in the day that I missed. Another poem finds a home. Yeah!

Saturday Morning Sigh...

After a work week that was grueling I'd like to say that I'm looking forward to this weekend but there is this thing called time and there is so much to do.

For a short (I mean very short) while it seems I was getting away from the stranglehold that time and death seem to have had on me for most of my adult life. I feel it creeping back into the picture again. It's not a good way to live...

Confession Tuesday - Paranoia, Writing, Baseball and No Baseball

Dear Readers-

It’s been one week and a doctor’s visit since my last confession. Let’s move to the box.

I confess to a bit of paranoia associated with both my upcoming flu shot scheduled for October 10 and the coughing, congested sinus thing I had going on this weekend.  Why, you ask? Okay, you didn’t but I’m going to tell you anyway. Last year I got a flu shot, just as I have for many years now.  But last year I actually contracted the flu a couple months later.  I was hit hard by this. It was one of the more memorable times I’ve been ill not so much because it was the most recent but because I felt like hell in many ways. We are talking both Flu and pneumonia.  Besides, it came on the heels of two other periods of sickness. I was weak, sore chest, feverish, headache, had a chaotic cough and had trouble breathing. So all this is to say I’m over obsessing about that period when I looked and felt like hell.

Yesterday, I began a six week writing session. I’m working with another poet (this will be the third time in four years I’ve done this) and I confess I always find it both stimulating and a little prone to anxiety. I always seem to get past the anxiety though and quite frankly it’s self-inflicted. I think every writer should do this once a year no matter how long they have been writing.  I recommend you find someone for starters whose work you really respect. I think it helps too if you know something about that person’s work ethic. I sometimes have multi objectives but the major one is always force myself outside the comfort zone.  If your writing is always comfortable how interesting can it be?

I’m excited about fall ball again this year. My San Francisco Giants have won the western division championship once again. I confess that I know they probably don’t have the best talent overall on their team, but they do have talented players and their secret I feel is that this team has real chemistry.  When they went all the way to the World Series in 2010 and won it was good pitching, good defense and out of this world team chemistry.

And now for my disclaimer for the time of year. It’s coming up on SAD time.  I confess that my family doesn’t buy the whole SAD thing. They don’t see it as Seasonal Affective Disorder but rather Seasonal Adjustment Disorder. They believe it is not about less sunlight and more about baseball, or the lack thereof. So to them SAD represents that time when baseball is gone from my life. When it returns in spring, I’m all happy again. Sure, I’ll admit I’m a happier and more amicable person during baseball season as a general rule, but I don’t think it’s that simple. 

Confession Tuesday - Backhoe Edition

It's been a week since my last confession. A cooler week and I got a haircut and mowed the grass in the same week. The weather being what it's been it had been longer between yard mows then haircuts... I think.

Come along, it's confession time and I'm sure I have something I can confess.

Dear Reader:

Yesterday I was driving through the city when I pulled up behind two other cars at a stop light. Hearing the deep sound of gears engaging I saw on the passenger side of the car a big yellow monster taking up the better part of two lanes between myself and the curb. Said yellow monster was backing my direction while on the front end it was lifting a heavy metal plate from the asphalt. All of this was under the direction of a man who was talking on a cell phone in the drivers seat. I confess that my Capricorn sensibility cause me to utter out loud WTF is this dumb shit doing? Neither I our our car was harmed in the incident. All I can say today looking back was thank God he wasn't texting. People - this does not seem like a multi-tasking sort of job. As I drove away I said a prayer that no bad incidents occurred the rest of the day at this work site.

Monday night is one night where we especially enjoy the TV shows. Major Crimes and Perception being two shows we watch. It's a night Cathy (my wife) looks forward to watching TV. So last night was a most inopportune time for our cable to crash but it did.  Now I could I could see how some people could say make the best of it and do something like... read a good book. I confess I did not do that. I too look forward to Monday night TV not only because of the shows but because it's something we do together. So last night was a downer for both of us.  I confess we ended up going to bed earlier then normal.  By the way, tech support was unable to again get it running and we remain without it again tonight and it will be tomorrow before the service people can come out.

I probably should confess something related to writing so thinking back this week I guess there are a few things I can touch on about writing. One is that I am excited that  I am about to begin a six week mentoring session with an awesome poet. This will be the third fall I've done this and it is something I really need this fall. Personally I think this is the kind of thing every poet should plan to do once a year. I confess that if I had 6 books published and another one or two waiting in the wings I would think there is value in this. So yes, I confess that I am excited. I'm always a little anxious at the same time because your work is going to be under more scrutiny in the draft form.

Coming upon the last quarter of the year I always try and take an inventory of where I am in my writing. I confess this can be a humbling experience. So I've been thinking a lot about this year a lot these past few weeks.

And last- on an upbeat note of sorts. A rejection letter this week with a positive note,,,  It read in part, "Dear Michael,  thank you for submitting to XXXXX Journal. It was great to see your work in our reading line up again. We have carefully reviewed your submission. Although it was not selected for publication this time in our journal, we wanted to let you know that your poems XXXX and XXXXXX did make it to our final round of readings for their wonderful images and subject matter...."  I confess that if you are going to be rejected, that a pretty decent rejection.

The Mag 135: Venus Has The Hots

Venus and The Sailor - Salvador Dali

Venus has the hots-

her dancing shadow passes before us.

Swishing her dress about.

The seductive danseur-

she can lure us into her orbit.

We easily feel connected

if not by want then curiosity,

brilliance in the morning

and evening-  

Even mid-day she can flaunt

in our imagination - or is it?

The Mag 135

Michael A. Wells

  

Journal Bits - Sept. 8 - Sept.14

A few items from my written journal...

• September 8, 2012 - Oh how I love to start a new journal. Empty pages to welcome me. I always promise to try and be neat about my entries but I know at some point I will disappoint myself in this regard. 
• September 8, 2012 - How many unwritten considerations/belong to the wind?//The future collect unclaimed thoughts.
• September 8, 2012 - I did not speak/for bewilderment /I did not speak/for an elevator fell/to the bottom of my stomach. 
• September 9, 2012 - "The invented person, borrowed from the real- abstracted, isolated- is the person we finally know, or feel we know. I made myself up from everything I am, or could be. For many years I was more desire than fact. When I stop becoming, That's when I worry." ~ Stephen Dunn
• September 10, 2012 - There is a relevance in numbers/you can have a bullet with each one's name/with nothing to erase the massive history.
• September 11,2012 - Feeling better these past couple of days about the Obama campaign. GOP is spending money like mad but the candidates, Romney and Ryan are making so many mistakes and their campaign handlers are really amateurish. I can hope this continues.
• September 13, 2012 - Heard in a Lionel Richie song this morning on the radio during drive time... "...people want me to be what they want me to be..."
• September 13, 2012 - You keep tabs on the important stuff/the primary colors of our life/I've always dealt with the more mundane-/the black and white...
• September 14, 2012 - from a comment in Modern Poetry class, "the how of what you say is more important then what you say..."

* NOTE:  My journal is where I record notes, quotes, observations (large and small), and poetry drafts. It ranges from junk to gems.

Confession Tuesday - What's wrong with eating your cake?

Oh hey, it’s Tuesday again – I’m off to the confessional.

We’ve been blessed with some gorgeous days this past week and I confess it has at times reminded me of San Francisco weather and I love it!  I know it won’t last.  I love the sun but not so much the heat.  I like sunny days and a bit of cool breeze. Yeah, I’m funny like that. It’s like having your cake and eating it too.

When I received an e-mail from our HR department reminding us about flu season and flu shot availability, I have to confess it brought back some anxiety on my part.  I received a flu shot last year, as I have for several years now. Being diabetic I fall into the category of people who are highly recommended to get a shot.  Still, I was hit hard by the flu only a few months after the vaccination. It was an illness that was especially rough on me. So the reminder was not a pleasant one.

I was driving tonight in our (new to us) Volvo which we recently acquired and realized for the first time that I missed the compos that is on the rearview mirror in the Mercury Sable. I confess that I never thought about it but I have depended upon it many more times then I really am consciously aware of.  I had to resort to using my Sprint navigator.  

Thant’s it for this confession, everyone have a great week!

Of Interest to Poets Around the Internet

Below are a few interesting reads on the Internet for poets and those interested in poetry- hope you find something the touches your interests.

• Letters of Interest - shares Letter to a Young Poet
• Poetry Magazine - 100 Poets for change - back for a second year 
• The Guardian - John Clare, The Poet of the Environmental Crisis - 200 Years Ago
• Washington Times - Photo of Emily Dickinson at 30?
• The Atlantic - Found Poetry from Amazon Kindle Reveal
• SF Gate - Chandler Poet finds focus after bipolar diagnosis
• NPR - Safe Landing For 'Stag's Leap'? On Sharon Olds' latest book
• The Atlantic - How Poet Laureate Natasha Trethewey Wrote Her Father's Elegy
• The Christian Century -  No Poetry in Politics

Anniversary Missed~

September 2nd was the 9th anniversary of Stickpoet Super Hero.  Nine years of blogging at this site and I somehow missed the anniversary.  That's what life does for you.

In a way perhaps it is fitting that it passed without an anniversary fan fair post. I'm probably blogging less these days then I have in the past. In 2005 I had a total of 421 blog posts - a nine year annual high. The last time I exceeded 400 posts was 2007 and last year I had a total of 257. There are times when I want to so a particular post on a topic but I'm busy and days pass and so does the urge to write that particular post and I'm thinking about something else to write about altogether.

I would like to believe that as I move into the tenth year on this blog that I find topics and craft writing that is increasingly interesting and perhaps is more engaging with readers. I don't want to be just going through the motions of blogging for the sake of it.

The fact that I have blogged with less frequency is not to say I have less interest in blogs as a media. Some have suggested that Facebook and Twitter have diminished the relevancy of blogging. I disagree with this notion and believe that these two newer venues have significant places in the communication spectrum but when best used they supplement blogging rather then replace it. If you said today we must do away with two of these three forms of communication I would argue to save blogging.

I do think Facebook and Twitter have become popular for a couple of reasons. One is the narrowing focus many have on reading. To may 140 characters has become  something the can wrap their attention around. Maybe that's because of how busy we have all become but I think it also reflects a decline in the emphasis overall of reading. The other aspect is the electronic aspect of socialization that has in many respects replaced real face-to face-socialization. In this respect, blogging differs from Facebook and Twitter and underscores why I believe it remains an important means of communication.

All this is to say that I Stickpoet enters year 10 with a anticipation of continuing dialogue and information as well as sharing some personal aspects of my writing journey.  It's my hope that we will look back on this current year no matter the number - with quality first and quantity second.

Confession Tuesday

Dear Reader;

I confess that the DNC tonight was powerful stuff. Each of the speakers made this election relevent and personal.

I confess that I'm tired and going to bed.

Journal Bits from the three day weekend...

• Oh my God it's September! So hard to believe that this year has actually come to this. This month will be the stretch for the Giants run to post season.
• Lazy Saturday under the potion of stationary rain pushed here by Issac with a September chill piggybacking the storm. 
• The shadow cast dirt upon the stairs-/each time I've walked them today I've been barefoot and lax in my resolve.
• The neighbor's flag waves-/it's the most friendly gesture I've seen.
• No one much minds us-/I like it that way. The quiet/turned inside out.

The Mag 133: The Women of Summer Night

Summer Night - 1913 by Albert Bloch

They gather in secret

in the garden of delight

they leave behind 

much shame

and every other form

of constraint-  real or imagined

in the twilight of tenderness

they speak of no evil

they harbor no disdain

they are hear for each other

they are hear for themselves

they are here and this is why they come

The Mag 133

Michael A. Wells

I confess...

For the past hour I've been making a list of phrases and questions that comprise subject matter for free writes that will hopefully lead into some new poems.  When you are brainstorming in a relaxed manner that allows your mind the freedom to explore such ideas without pressure it's amazing what you can come up with.

This has been a lazy approach. The cap on my fountain pen comes off, I write a line or two, re-post the cap, few sips of a drink and something hits me again and I jot another one down. There was no certain number I was looking for or specific amount of time. I fixed something to eat during the process but at some point I thought, this has been a good start - and after some rest tonight, the second phase of some free writes will start tomorrow. 


On another note, I love it when I go back to my old journals and read through them only to find a poem draft that surprisingly I says to myself, did I write this?

Thinking about Client Eastwood the other night...

Immersed in the unexpected satirical dialogue with an empty chair, I thought why do we have elections anyway? The line between serious and funny morphed into the sad and pathetic. Poor Client, a man of major significance, with Dr. Emmett Brown hair managed in two hands full of minutes reduce himself to cognitive deficiency before millions of people, mock a sitting president at the same time he demonstrated significant disregard for facts.

The extent to which any of this was funny lies not in the lines themselves, but the fact the the convention handlers allowed this miscarriage of both fact and humor to eat up one sixth of the national TV coverage
prime hour on the mos significant night of the convention. Who was responsible and what might they have been smoking?


 

Once - Twice in August 2012

Once in a Blue Moon came twice this month!  This picture is for those like myself  under the influence  rainy skies brought to us by Isaac.

Moons have often been the subject of songs, poetry and props for movies. Sometimes I think God hung the moon in the sky for writers. A guiding light at night to write.

Nonsense~

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. - Dr. Seuss

Confession Tuesday - Optimist Edition

It's Tuesday for sure and that means it's time to head to the confessional.

Dear Reader:

It's been a week, a zoo trip, another mobile market trip, a few showers (very few), a handful of new e-book downloads since my last confession.

We went to the Zoo this past weekend.  I confess that walking around the zoo on a very hot days will give one a good idea just how out of shape they are. By the time we were finished for the day, we were truly done. All that was left was to poke a fork in us. I enjoyed the outing, but wow did it take a lot out of me. I always enjoy the Tigers, who were looking quite lazy all sprawled out on the rocks in their enclosure.  The most unique thing I observed was the Kangaroo with baby in pouch. Just watching her move about hurt my back.

I've journaled a lot this past week. Perhaps more then normal. I've done some writing too but I confess the poetry drafts I've developed seem to be coming from good ideas but I'm just having trouble satisfying myself with finding the right language. I can be really hard on myself at times when it comes to looking at my own work. Sometimes I think the problem is that I pick on myself too early in the process. I confess that it's hard for me to not be overtly judgmental of first or very early drafts.

Recently I've been annoyed by the amount of computer gadgets I have on my laptop.I suppose applications is the more appropriate term. I confess I can be a sucker for applications that do one thing or another. Different versions of To-Do Lists, programs that track your productivity, fancy calendar programs, clocks, alarms, if it's a bell or whistle I've probably had it. I've started divesting myself of many of these items slowly.
Some of them I've found slow down the initial start-up of my system and in particular those have been some of the first to succumb to my scrutiny.

Perhaps one of the reasons I'm looking at such time wasters is that I'm looking at the remainder of the year and I have a lot of personal expectations. I'm wanting to really maximize my efforts and get myself into a level of work that pushes the envelope. I'm looking at a window - September through December and I am hopeful that this is the best 4 months of the whole year. I confess that sometimes I can be a real optimist. Though I think sometimes the Capricorn in me is reluctant to take risks.

Help...

This may sound like a strange request but I'm looking for a few good poets. Okay, really I'm wanting really good poets - awesome poets...

I'm simply looking for a few poets that perhaps I've not had exposure to that are worthy of a read.  I'm open to suggestions. Please leave your recommendations in the comments. Thanks!

The Mag 132: Off Limits

Big Room, 1948 by Andrew Wyeth

I get the chills here;

this room so open

voluminousness of air.

Even the grand fireplace

cannot cut the impersonal 

feel.       The stark neatness,

not thing out of place.

Nothing ever happens here.

People come, look, but never sit

or stay. 

The Mag 132

Michael A. Wells

Thrall Is on My Radar and List Of Books to Read.

There is a fascinating article in the Sept/Oct issue of Poets and Writers about Natasha Tretheway by Kevin Nance. I read this article while riding in the care yesterday - something I generally find distracting and often ultimately will quit in frustration and pick up again later. Not this time.

I think what I find so inciting about Tretheway and in simultaneously this article was the depth of authenticity. As a writer Tretheway peels back the onion skin layer after layer until the stark truth resides in her own words. I am quite anxious to read her latest book of poems titled Thrall and described as ambitious.

Tretheway acknowledges it as ambitious but with as price. How many of us as writers are ready and willing to bare discomfort that such honesty exposes? I see it as the hallmark of exceptional writing; and the hurdle that every write struggles to get over. Some never, Tretheway certainly has.

Around the Internet - On Writing, Etc.

Several things I've seen here and there that should be of interest to writers and I thought I share the in a post since I've been lazy and have posted much lately. Actually that is not exactly true... I've been pretty busy and when I've had a night that I wasn't it has usually followed a day in which I have been really tired and crashed. (actually I'd like to do that now)

If you are a writer looking for a presence on the Internet then check out List of the Top Nine Word Press Themes for Writers.

Speaking of presence in the digital age for writers... Kelli Agodon has an outstanding blog post I recommend reading  that sorts out some things you might want to consider doing and some you might want to avoid in here post Social Butterfly - How To Deal With Social Media As A Writer.

Looking for a new place to submit your work - Subscribe of a routine e-mail listing of Literary Magazines.  You may find some totally new to you.

Read an Interview with Michael Nye - Managing Editor of the Missouri Review.

Check out current issue of POETSArtists.

Writers.... Don't Forget to Read!

What Successful People Do With The First Hour of Their Work Day.

There you go.... Hopefully there is something for everyone!

Confession Tuesday on the Cheep

Dear Reader:

It's been one week, three rejections, 40+ Kindle downloads and an aching back since my last confession.


Since my last confession I admit that I've come to like my Kindle. So I've counted and I have 44 eBook downloads in the past week. Of all my eBooks I've acquired, I confess that I may have only one or two I've purchased. Call me cheep, old fashion, traditionalist, or whatever you will but in have no problem paying for a real book but eBooks feel like virtual books or something. It's just hard for me to spend money for them. If it were a perfect world (admittedly my own view) you would purchase a book and receive a "real" book and an eBook file. Then when you go out into the world you could take your library with you while the real thing was still in tack ring in your own home.

For the past four weeks I've been visiting the Mobil Vegetable Market that comes every Tuesday morning into the city and parks right behind my office. I confess this has been really cool because they have had some really good stuff. Among my favorites would be the cantaloupe, blackberries and really sweet tasting Delicious apples. My wife has some things she especially likes that I pick up - avocados (yuck) and blueberries.

I love blackberries and Bing cherries.  I've enjoyed this past week snacking on both of these. I confess I could be really happy if I could just carry a container of these around everywhere to snack on as I wish.  I confess that I'm out of Bing cherries presently and I'm wishing I could pluck one into my mouth right now.

I confess that I downloaded a new book today [Four Days With Hemingway by Tom Winston] that I'd like to start reading right away but I'm in the middle of another and am trying to force myself to finish it before starting another one. I'll let you know what I think of it when I get into it.

That's it for tonight - I must confess that I'm tired and since I worked on some office work which I brought home I'm wrapping this up and going to try and unwind a bit.

The Mag 131: Detroit's Past Through The Fog

Under Windsor Bridge by Adolphe Valette

Entombed in the gritty fog

rolling under Windsor Bridge

the past hangs heavy;

smells of damp basement.

Thinking back in time I remember

how many young men crossed this bridge 

north bound to Canada 

placing themselves in a sort of purgatory

not knowing if or when they might make a return trip.

Those were dark times in America

even darker for Detroit;

smoldering nightly somewhere in the summer heat.

A big time city eating it's own young.

Cannibalizing it's inner soul. 

The decay remains evident today

in areas blackened

that have not and never will come back. 

That's what they say.

Funny thing this city, 

where peace-nicks 

flowed to Canada;

while in the heart of old Detroit

riots raged to burned out store fronts;

skeletons of Detroit made cars smoldered.

Motor city became the capital 

of civil-disobedience & of civil-unrest.

The Mag 131

Michael A. Wells 

Confession Tuesday - Kindle Edition

Tuesday has arrived... to the confessional, shall we?


Dear Reader~

I'm glad you came along. Misery loves company. Just kidding!  I don't think I have any misery to unload today but then I don't often really know how these confessions are going to go till they are over.

I am glad you did come along because every once and a while I get the impression that I'm writing to no one here. I know that is not exactly true because I confess that I do look at the site stats.  I'm not as bad as I used to be about it. Trust me, this is a good thing. You can become obsessed about such things, or so I've been told (I mean I wouldn't have any first hand knowledge of such things) by others who would know.

I am going to move for a moment from one medium (blog) to another - e-reader. I've written blog posts about them in the past and have not been especially kind to them. So, it would only be appropriate for me to confess that this weekend I got a Kindle.  Now I've had the Kindle application on my laptop and on my Blackberry. While I have used them I've never found them to be especially easy to use. I don't mean from the standpoint of technical ease but rather the matter comfort in use. My laptop for example has one of the the larger screens available on a laptop. Sitting up in bed with it to read on in the evening is not really comfortable. Trying to read from from my Blackberry isn't comfortable either. It's size makes the screen area pretty small and you have to jack up the font size so the amount of copy per page is minuscule.

I confess that I still prefer holding a real book in my hands to an e-reader but I do like my Kindle.  Yes, I confess I still have problems with the idea of paying for what seems like a file that is just born out of nowhere (cyberspace) and is there on the device. I don't get a cover with color?  Where do I have the author sign this book/ file at? 

Yes, I confess that I have discovered free books.  There may be no free lunches but there are free digital books. Of course these are not really the books on my wish list. But hey it will force me to read some pf the classics again. Okay, some of them I haven't read for the first time. I confess I still consider myself a bit of a newbie or e-reader virgin.

So while you may be reading this and think - about time, I will acknowledge that almost anyone reading this has more experience with digital books then I do. I am also interested in the process of publishing to this format. I confess that I will defer to you, the experienced digital reader for any recommendations or suggestions on how I might enhance my Kindle experience.  I mean I can't stay a virgin forever.

Unabashed

Divisions according to gender should apply only to changing-rooms and public toilets – because of natural bashfulness. In poetry, there is nothing to be ashamed of. ~ Aleksei Alekhin

Technorati Tags: quotes on poetry

The Mag 130: No Shell Game

Image by Francesca Woodman

Don' t dare look past my flesh self

ignoring what discomfort troubles you.

I've come out so that I can be everything

I truly am-   the co-worker, the mother, the friend

the wife and the lover.

I don't hide my intellect behind my body

anymore then I will shelter my flesh

with intellect or my personality.

I've shed my shell;

these breasts, the curves-

this flesh and bone

this is my architecture-

I embrace all that I am.

The Mag 

Michael A. Wells

The Nightly News I Remember

There are times I remember the nightly news
framed in a seriousness and we all watched.
I would come home from school  and the others
they came from work or household chores
but we watched in the same room
the same RCA Victor
that doubled as a piece of furniture;
topped with white lace doilies and blonde lamp-

and always a man with a voice of authority
and there would be body counts every single night.
And for the longest time this went on
and we all watched and when it was over went
our separate ways.

There was no liberal newscast or conservative choice
there was only news and it could be very brutal.

Confession Tuesday Under Cotton Candy Skies on Thursday

A storm is threatening if that is possible in this drought inflicted Midwest.  We are already a day late - let's hurry to the confessional.

Dear Reader:  I confess I know I'm a day late. It's been 8 days since my last confession so lets get this over the cotton ball sky is moving quickly.

I confess that as I gassed the car this morning and realized that gas had shot up considerably since I last gassed the car I so wanted an all electric car. Of course wanting and having the ability to obtain something are two different things. Even a gas electric hybrid is out of the picture unless that lottery ticket in my pocket is a winner. I'm really pretty good normally about not wanting things I know are beyond reach. Occasionally some electronic gadget will creep into my wanting eyesight but I mostly try and contain myself. These are usually things that I could have, I have the means available to go get one, but don't because my better wisdom says don't.

I confess that I when I learned yesterday that my daughter was likely going to put down Scarlet - her pet rat today - I spent some time just watching Scarlet and taking pictures of her last night.  She was actually pretty cute. So when I learned today that it actually occurred I admit I had some damp eyes for a rat. Okay, not just any rat but Scarlet.  Earlier this summer she lost Mason but as far as rats go I am told that Mason was an old man.

That's about it for tonight... I just realized the San Francisco Giants are on ESPN so my attention is now divided. And I guess that's a confession too.