Confession Tuesday

Dear Reader:

It's Tuesday. Again. I think. Three day weekends mess me up big time. Having Monday off (making a three day weekend) only makes me long for more days off.  So, I confess that I really wanted today to be Friday. REALLY badly.

But of course today is only Tuesday and so here I am again shamefully acknowledging I'd rather frolic tomorrow, or quite frankly do nothing. That would be fine by me.  Nothing seems easier for me to contemplate then at times in the past. I always think my weekends or any day off needs to be filled with things to do that I am not doing because I'm at work. I'm finding that I really am all right with down time. I confess this is a big deal for me. I think it's a positive thing. It says to me that I am getting better about the whole idea of relaxing and not worrying so much about my life slipping away. That has been a difficult trepidation for me throughout most of my life. I don't think I'm over it, but this little positive sign I will claim as a victory for now.

Maybe I can attribute some of it to the 6 weeks I've been doing the Artist's Way program. It's really the only thing that I can think of that would have impacted my mindset on this. If this is the case, I'm optimistic that the final 6 weeks of the program will have other breakthroughs in store for me.

I've been trying this Lent to be observant of the positive in others. This is also a constant reminder that I need to be vigilant in my own positivities. (I think I just made up a word)  Maybe I mean positiveness but I kind of like positivities better. Tonight I was driving home from the office and had agreed that I would try to get home swiftly as possible because my wife wanted to go check on her mother and didn't want to be out too late. But of course this would be a night in which there was a rush hour accident on Interstate 70. I confess that I caught myself getting annoyed at other drivers who were not attentive to the traffic flow. Right there in the car I had a smack down with myself about my righteous attitude. But at least I did a quick mid-course correction and got myself back on the right track. My Lenten GPS system did it's job.

Well, I've spent another Tuesday evening Confession session with you. That's all I've got. Hope your week stays sunny-side up!

Barry knows....

Nap... It does a body good! 

Reading Sylvia Plath 50 Years after her death is a different experance

 Poet Tess Taylor reflects on how we read Sylvia Plath's poetry,  50 years after her death.


Source NPR 

Confession Tuesday - Lenten Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been one week since my last confession.  It's late and I must confess that I'd rather not be rushing to get this done.

I confess that I often find myself rushing to get things finished and for someone who wants badly to be organized, this is a sign I'm not. Tomorrow begins Lent and lent is an action word. That's what we used to call verbs in school, and yes Lent is a verb. If it's not verb to you then you are probably dealing with lint and you need to clean that out of your dryer... but I digress.

I've decided that for Lent I am going to work harder about getting things done in a timely manner. About planning ahead for this to happen.

I am also going to spend a bit of time meditating daily on when I see in others/the world that is positive/good in hopes that I can in turn find myself to be more positive.

The last thing that is a part of my Lenten (action plan) is to give up a certain word. It's not a bad word. Hell no, I'm not giving up those ;)  This I confess is a word I actually really like. A word that the whole structure of the word is cool to me if you break it down. It's a word I (and I think many others) greatly overuse.  Of course I confess that I'm being a bit judgmental when I speak of others, but I feel like for me personally I've become lazy in my use of the word. I mean really, awesome is such an awesome word that I think there are times that maybe something can better be described another way. So yes, I've giving up the word awesome during Lent. Therefore, I will have to be a little more creative in my response to things that are awe inspiring.

So that's my Lenten plan in a nutshell.

I confess that I'm really excited that pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training camps. Like the Easter season this reminds me of the renewal of spring, of life. Of new beginnings.

I confess that I've been writing less lately and pushing myself or trying to force my writing to be what I want. This week I'm going to take the approach that I not be so self critical, get it on a page and I can go back and work out things in rewrite.

It's late and I confess that I'm finished.

Amen

Sylvia Plath - October 27, 1932 – February 11, 1963

"I wonder about all the roads not taken and am moved to quote Frost...but I won't. It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me."  - Sylvia Plath

Confession Tuesday - Six Degrees from The Following

Tuesdays come and go and before this one is gone I must get my confession in. Come along to the confessional...

Dear Reader:

It's been one week of nagging coughs and sinus drainage. One week of antibiotics. 173 used Kleenexes and here we are.

I confess I've had it with this stuff. Sinus infection/crud whatever it is and I'm thinking about resorting to a witch doctor. Remember, it's only weird if it doesn't work.

I have to say my next item to get off my chest is one that I really hate to bring up, but I will in part because I'm wondering if others are feeling the same. There is a Monday night show called The Following on Fox. It stars Kevin Bacon so I think we are all connected to it in some way. ;)

Here's the deal... Bacon plays a former FBI that put away a English Professor who was a serial killer that had a fixation on Poe. The killer escapes brutally, killing a number of prison guards and then killing a survivor of his past attacks before he is apprehended again. But he has a network of followers who continue to strike in the community on his behalf and Bacon of course was brought back into the picture after his escape because no one knows him better. Now to the confession part. My wife and I have watched all three episodes so far. The show is especially brutal though the first episode significantly more so the the past two. I confess the show is troublingly brutal and yet I continue to watch it. I wonder if others feel this same way. I've never been a person who watches horror movies - this is so out of character for me. The fact that I continue to watch it leaves me feeling unsettled. Friends recommended Dexter to us last year and we got CD from them of the first season but I have to tell you that show was freak'n creepy. After maybe 4 episodes we bailed on it. 

On the upbeat seen I confess that I was elated to receive my copy of O Holy Insurgency by Mary Biddinger in the mail this weekend. Biddinger earlier book Saint Monica was such a spectacular read that I have been hot to get my hands on this new one. I've started reading and first impressions are that it is smack-bang imposing! I'll have more to say about it later... I have to peel all the many layers back. :)

It's been a long day and I plan on reading before it gets too late so this is my confession wrap.

Have a great week... and go buy Mary Biddinger's book! 

Confession Tuesday - late edition

I confess that this confession is late due in part to being sick and part due to an Rx with codeine in it.

I confess that yesterday I  hit a brick wall with steel reinforcement. 

I confess I did not do my morning pages yesterday.  Some will no what that is and others won't. All that is important here is they didn't get done.

I confess that I recall little about my week prior to yesterday so I confess that I'm both late and done. Stick a fork in me.

That Again!

It's the age old question that keeps resurfacing like a bad cliche. Alexandra Petri writing in the Washington Post Journal asks, "Is Poetry Dead?"

Ms. Petri writes, "I think the medium might not be loud enough any longer. There are about six people who buy new poetry, but they are not feeling very well."  She says the last time she stumbled upon a poetry reading it was mostly students of the poet who were there hoping to earn extra credit. 

Over the years we've been down this road on this topic more times then there are MFA Writing Programs. The fact that we keep coming back to this same tired old question (can't you think of a more original title?  ... you're a Journalist for Christ's sake!) says to me that the noun in the question is obviously still kicking along. 

It's easy to write these kinds of essays because a good deal of the population gets the joke, just like they laugh about fruit cake jokes. Because it's easy to do because, well everyone else seems to be laughing. And more people the joke then no. But you know what? Companies are still making fruit cakes, selling them, and laughing all the way to the bank. 

The truth is, we are a fractured society. And we are becoming more and more fractured  by the increase in numbers of choices we are offered on a daily basis. What is successful in today's media grabs a smaller share of the market then when people came home from work and could basically turn on the three network TV stations and maybe one or two local independent stations. 

Poetry competes with everything else for it's place in the world. Linda Holmes who maintains the Monkey See blog of pop culture site explained the 2% rule as axiom used in television comedy on a recent NPR program in a discussion centered on the whole impact of our fractured interests on pop culture.  Things that most everyone understood 15 years ago that became the subject of jokes on TV are replaced today by things that maybe 2% of the audience gets.  

Ms. Petri might be surprised to learn that this fall a university level Modern and Contemporary Poetry class was offered on Coursera - that was non-credit,  attracted over 21,000 enrolled.  There are poets such as Mary Oliver, Billy Collins, Sharon Oliver (to name a few) whose books  are selling to broader numbers of people. Poetry continues to get a share of a universal market that is saturated with too many choices and too little time. It's like everything else. 

Is she being too harsh? She asks, hopeful she adds that she is wrong. I think her problem is that she is asking the wrong question. Wrong, because it keeps coming up. The fact that it does, year after year should tell her that  poetry is a survivor.  For poetry to die, language must die, That isn't happening. People are still buying fruit cakes too. I had one over the holiday season. 

Confession Tuesday - One of Those Moods Edition.

It's a Monday/Tuesday so off to the confessional

Dear Reader:

It's been one week, seven morning pages, a new inaugural poem, a 49er Win (yeah) and a three day weekend since my last confession.

The Monday/Tuesday is code word for I had a three day weekend and I'm paying for it. I confess that as days after a three day weekend go, this one I got hammered on. The Tuesday from hell! I could easily be in bed now at 7:00 PM and out for the night. But I'm not! I left work, picked up a prescription refill on the way home, made dinner and here I am tending to bloggerly duties.

I confess that I'm going to brag a bit. I think it's worth mentioning that I made a list of several journals that I plan to systematically submit to over the first three months of the year. By that I mean I spent some time researching them and noting if they were accepting submissions during this period.  Next I will plug these into my calendar and allow ample time to get the submissions off so that I'm not scrambling at 11:30 PM the night before the deadline to put the work together.

I confess that when I have three day weekends I have high expectations for myself about what I am going to so. Like new year resolutions these more often then not fall short. I'm happy to say that while I did not get all done that I had hoped to this past weekend I did remarkably well at tackling my to do list.

Yesterday, I watched the presidential inaugural ceremony. I'm pleased that it went off without a hitch as I must confess that I was concerned about the president's safety. I confess to that I was very impressed with the poem written and delivered by Richard Blanco  for the inauguration. This poem hit home with me more then the inaugural poem 4 years ago.I'm not trying to get into a major comparison of the two here as they both have their merits, I'm just saying this one, at the moment I heard it, I really connected with it. I'm especially glad that our president has seen fit to elevate the arts in such a way that they are seen as a significant part of ordinary life.

I confess that I've found another poet who's work I can recommend reading... Check out Tara Mae Mulroy.  She has a number of pieces of her work that can be found on the Internet but her blog is really interesting too.  It's called Poetry & Effrontery and I especially like reading her own commentary on her working poetry drafts. It's kind of like a play-by-play if I can use a sports analogy. Oh look, I just did.

I confess that every once and a while I get into a mode where I want to explore and find new poets to read. I'm kind of in one of those moods. So if you know someone you'd recommend me checking out, feel free to leave a comment.

I confess I have nothing else to confess.

Sweet Mother of God

Yesterday at the grocery store I purchased some oranges on sale. My wife had one this morning and she called me in to ask about them. The initial tone of her voice lead .me to believe I was in somehow in disfavor. I wasn's however. She was simply curious about the orange that seemed to resemble in some respects a ruby red grapefruit in color. We both tasted the orange and sweet mother of God, it was delicious.  As a result, I went back to the store for more.

For the record these are Cara Cara oranges.

Mark Doty - Kansas City - Jan. 31 Midwest Poets Series.

THURSDAY - JANUARY 31 - 7:00 PM Mabee Theater - Sedgwick Hall at Rockhurst University - Mark Doty

Mark Doty returns to the Midwest Poets Series (only the second poet to make a re-appearance) that has featured some of the most celebrated of poets of our time.  Doty has written 12 books of poetry and 3 memoirs and received numerous awards and prizes for his work including T.S. Eliot Prize for Poetry, a National Book Award as well as the National Book Critics Circle Award.

Admission is $3 at the door.

The address is 54th and Troost, Kansas City, MO

Confession Tuesday - Phone App Edition

It's been one cold January week, a week of morning pages, and Artist's date and a a novel read since my last confession.

To the confessional...

Dear Reader:

I confess I finished reading a novel for no reason other then entertainment. That may seem like an odd thing to confess to but I don't typically read simply for pleasure. I may find for example reading a book of poetry pleasurable but I never really approach such reading as whimsical or strictly good fun.  I'm odd like that I guess. I'm talking about a book that simply was mindless reading. Like going to one of those movies with little redeeming value. I confess I'll probably do it again.

Speaking of reading, I had planned to come home for a bit last night and drive back into the city for an 8 PM reading at an open mic. So many of my work days lately have been long and draining and yesterday was no exception. The mailman delivered a book I ordered, The 6.5 Practices of a Moderately Successful Poet by Jeffrey Skinner. Seeing the book, I made an executive decision to stay home and read. I confess it was not a difficult decision to make and I have no regrets. Sure I need to be reading more, but this was a take care of Michael sort of thing. By the way, this book is interesting and I will likely have more to say about it as I am further into it or finish it.

I confess that I'm learning a thing or two by way of the Artist's Way. This too is something for later posts but there are things already that I feel happening that may well be setting the foundation for an improved attitude about my artistic undertakings.

I confess that I am a person who wants to be organized but finds disorganization  like it were a magnet and I were metal.

I confess that I have way too many applications on my phone.

I confess that I want to by books every week but don't have the budget to keep up with my want list. When I do buy a new book I go over my wish list like I were doing triage in a MASH unit and trying to decide the life and death of a book on the list. It can get emotional. Ok, maybe just a little. Sometimes.

That's it for this week...

And they all said, Amen!

Confession Tuesday - Over-thinking Edition

Dear Reader,

It's been a week since my last confession. A week and 7 morning pages. Follow me to the box and let's begin.

I confess that sometimes this past week I've woken up in the wee hours of the morning and had trouble getting back to sleep. This might not be so annoying if in fact I was getting to sleep at a decent hour.  Lately unsettled dogs in the house have set me back for starters and on occasion (but not always) they are the reason for waking prematurely. This is compounded by the fact that office work has been so intense lately that I come home exhausted to start with. The other day in spite of being awake at 3 A.M. I was able to get back to sleep and have some wildly eventful dreams after falling back to sleep. This tells me in hit REM and that's good sleeping.

Getting back to morning pages, I confess that starting the Artist's Way has revealed some interesting things to me. If you are not familiar with morning pages they are written about anything and everything that comes into your mind. They are like stream of conscious writing. This flushing out of the mind each day is not to shared with anyone else or even reread for a period of time so I will not go into detail.  In fact I can't necessarily recall everything I've written but I will confess that their are some things that have been revealed to me that challenge some of my habits and thinking. Since one of the things in the book that I read in advance of week one suggests there are things we might feel uncomfortable about I can attest that this is already happening. But this is a good thing, right?

I confess that I will hit what my wife said the kids called a milestone birthday on Thursday. No, I'm not turning 100. I don't think of birthday's as milestones except maybe 100. Milestones in years are like years on the job or number of years married. Those are milestones. I confess the only thing worse then turning my age would be NOT turning my age. Does that make sense?

I confess that I subscribed to Duotrope. I'm hope subscription price will shame me in to submitting more work.  I didn't do bad last year but I'm hopeful that 2013 will be a robust year for both submissions and acceptances.

The other day I began pondering if I should dump the name of this blog. I've blogged here under the name Stickpoet since 2003 if my memory serves me correctly. (I could look at my first date in the archives if I was not too lazy) I liked the sort of comic identity but have recently wondered if it's unbecoming.  Too silly to be seen seriously. Do I even care to be taken seriously? Of course I want my work to be taken seriously.  I confess this may be over-thinking. I sometimes do that. I think it's a Capricorn thing.

Can I get an Amen?

175 Of Them!

Across the street from my home is a large field with a baseball diamond. (an added bonus when we looked at the house) I've knocked around some fly balls in it and played catch. Not as often as I'd like to have but even knowing it's there is still a cheap thrill.

I enjoy it when others use the field for baseball or just to practice. Not so much for soccer or football practice. Some things are sacred. But each year I do enjoy the return of the geese. To the geese I always extend a hearty welcome.

Sometimes there are 30 to 40 that arrive. Other times there are in excess of 100. This weekend I thought the number exceptionally high and I began to count. They are really not hard to count because they will stand still for me for the most part Spread out over the field there were 175 that I counted. Now I may be off + or - 1 or 2 but I'd say no more. So for the sake of this reporting I will go with the 175 number and it established a new high count.

Thinking about the geese there are a couple of things right off that I like about them. For starters the fact that they return a couple of different period of time during the year. I like that they come back to where they know.

I also appreciate that when they are walking around they seem to be doing their own thing. The are individuals. But they also belong to a larger community. When they go and come it is together. And they will fly off in a beautiful formation once aloft... Their aerodynamics is something to behold.; and they know their leader. There is no bickering among them as to who is to lead. This may of course occur in private smoke filled rooms but they do not air their dirty laundry or do political backstabbing in plain view and I appreciate that about them.

They have blessed me with a return again this winter and for that I am thankful.

  

Confession Tuesday - Tardy Edition

Dear Reader,
I'm late. Yes I'm starting this out nearly an hour into Wednesday.  I confess that it had not occurred to me that it was Tuesday in spite of answering my wife's question as to what day it was esrlier in the eveving.  It's like I knew without it ever really registering.

My mind has apparently been on break from reality. Reality is so overrated.

I confess that in the morning I will of course meet the sun with a different perspective but I confess I will not be s willing participant in this.

Even on holidays or other days off I don't generally find it easy to lose myself in the moment. I confess that I did tonight and I liked it.

Amen!

Making The Artist's Way Commitment

I'm committing this month to undertake The Artist's Way in order to better connect with the artist that is within me, to explore it, to listen to it, nurture it, grow it and realize the potential that is there, often overlooked or hindered. 

The Artist's Way - Wikipedia

I understand  that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the twelve week duration of the course. 

I commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist date, and the fulfillment of each week's tasks.

I further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I commit myself to excellent self-care, adequate sleep, diet, exercise and pampering for the duration of the course.


Michael A. Wells
January 1, 2013

Hello 2013 - Can You Hear Me Now?

I saw this "wordcandy.me" image today and thought it was perhaps speaking to me because I have been planning to start The Artist's Way now for several months and I've decided to make the jump into it  straight away as the new year gets underway.

There is a undercurrent that is bubbling on a low simmer within me that wants to be something grander. I have felt it and maybe it's fear, or not knowing what to do next, of being too fractured in my thinking but there is something that has allowed me to go only so far that year that we are ending. Perhaps I want not supposed to go any further. Maybe I was supposed to find myself right were I am at the end of this year on a slow burn (knowing something different was ahead in my writing) and awaiting the next phase.

I spent another fall working with a poet on some things and again I found myself feeling growth in my work and again finding inspiration. As a coach and mentor this poet has a way of bringing about transformative awareness in where you are and helping you step out of that place and move ahead.  I have to credit this low simmer as a part of that - telling me that what's cooking is something different and that I need to be ready to turn up the burner a bit and let new things happen.

So that is in this new horizon for 2013 is not in clear focus but I have some ideas. I've had ideas before and for one or more reasons this ideas have only gone so far. I've been experienced in finding one road block after another on paths here and there. 2012 has provided me with some successes for sure. I have a lot to be thankful for, but I'm not getting any younger and I've never felt that time was on my side. I do want to turn the burner up a bit and move ahead; I want to reach what is on that horizon and not feel like I'm swimming in an ocean after a point that never gets any closer.

HELLO 2013 -  CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Mail Bag

Some days it's better to get no mail then the alternative if that's bills. Today was a really good day...
1. Copy of Poets & Writers magazine.
2. Check for work published.
3. Card from another poet.
4. Rumpus letter from author Elizabeth Crane.

Not a single bill!

- Happy poet

GlassFire Magazine - Winter 2012 Issue

Winter issue is out along with my poem PRONOUNS

GlassFire Magazine Intro Page Click Here

Poetry Mentions Around the Internet

Poets & Poetry around the Internet -

Mohamed Ibn Al Ajami’s crime consisted of reciting on November 16, 2011 a poem extolling the courage and values of the popular uprisings in Tunisia - Sign Poets petition here

Nuclear Age Peace Foundation's Barbara Mandingo Kelly Peace Poetry Awards deadline for 2013 Prize

Q & A on Kelli Russell Agodon's Third Poetry Collection [Read Here]

Benefits of Poetry for Professionals [Read Here]

Poets you should know about: Mark Doty, the Painter [Read Here]

Confession Tuesday

Dear readers: 

It's been not one, but two weeks since my last confession.

I confess that I am so finished with last week. I can say that the sickness, the irritation, the overwhelming feelings of failure and hopelessness belong to you, the past and not the present.

I confess that I arrived at Monday fearing that all the sinus stuff would continue to plague me but like a passing storm my head began to clear.

I confess that even feeling like crap over the weekend I ventured into the mall maze of people and survived. I actually did it twice in one day.

I confess I need to get serious about writing this week as I've crashed and burned too many nights last week

My wife had a book come in the mail yesterday and while I'm happy for her I confess I wished there had been one for me as well.

Still have several books outstanding on my want, list. I confess the list never seems to end.

I confess that I cannot end this confession without expressing a sense of heartache over the loss of so many innocent young lives and the ultimate sacrifice of so many teachers at the Sandy Hook School shooting. This leaves a very empty feeling inside and yet I cannot begin to imagine what that feeling must be like to the families.  My prayers go out to all of them.

Saturday check-in

I've been neglectful in blogging past week this largely due to feeling so drained by sinuse issues. Aside from work I've come home nightly with little energy left for anything else.

I've managed to get some reading done... little writing. Today I'm feeling better and a little optomistic though the energy levels are still at low tide.

In the senselessness of the Sandy Hook School tragedy combined with this dull sick feeling, it is even harder to keep from becoming frozen in dysfunction.

Duotrope in the New Year

Are you looking forward to the new year, dusting off this one - out with the old in with the new?  Not so fast...  Starting January 1, 2013 Duotrope - the writer market listing and submission tracking service will no longer be available free.  Of course as it has been said many times about many things, nothing is really free.  Duotrope has operated since inception without charge. It has encouraged users to make contributions towards operating expenses and utilized a color coded warning system not unlike the old homeland security threat system. This told users if they were on track, running short, or warning Will Robinson things are dire.

All the good stuff that is Durotrope is no longer going to be available to users unless they ante up. Now I could say, "Damn, why didn't people support it?" But I am, case in point perhaps a reason for the downfall. Yes, I have contributed to it, but not often enough.

Now, I've seen one blogger post that this has caused a major uproar among writers and that many are saying  they will do without the service before they will pay to use it. Of course that's a choice we can all make.  If I was only submitting work two or three times a year I'm sure I could live without it. I did see one writer on Facebook objecting to the pay model that if they charged everyone $50 to use Facebook there would be mass exodus. I don't disagree, but I've never felt I could live would Facebook and I would not pay $50 to be on it. But this is apples and oranges.

Durotrope has been a top notch site in my opinion and further, they have made major upgrades to it in recent times. Only time will tell, but I'm planning on submitting a lot of work in 2013 and I'm going to need the service.

Confession Tuesday - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Edition

It's Tuesday again and so I've come here tonight to offer up my weekly confession. Shall we start?


Dear Readers:

It's been two newly purchased poetry books, a new pair of shoes, and one contract from a publisher to sign since my last confession a week ago.

I confess that while I was about 25 minutes late leaving the office tonight I was not ready for the fact that it was well on the way to being dark downtown. It just seemed so different then last night when I left.  I mean Monday night It was still light when I arrived home and this was like spooky different. I don't mean that I was afraid or anything like that, it was just strange how different it felt. The drive home was not especially smooth.  Traffic on I-70 played with my patience. I did not let it get the best of me though.

As I noted above I got two new poetry books this week. They are Factory of Tears, by Valzhyna Mort and In Broken Latin, by Annette Spaulding-Convy. (have more to say soon about these books) I truly am giddy when I get a new poetry book. Especially if it's one that I have had my radar on for a while. You have book radar don't you? I confess that I'm forever wanting this book or that book and usually several at a time. I just can't ever quite satisfy my thirst for books. I'm pretty sure that if you look in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) there is a code for people who can't own enough books.

I got a contract from a publisher this week. Don't wet your pants! It's not for a book but for a single poem. I confess that in all the time I've written poetry and had work accepted and published there has never been a written contract involved. Of course there has never been any money involved either.

This past week I've been exhausted every night by the time I've gotten off work. My work can be pretty intense, even stressful at times but since we've added a new case management program, I'm working in it essentially all day long. It's very labor intensive so I get to the end of the day and I've like done all this work and maybe moved two items off my desk. I know there is value to the case management program but I confess that I have a tendency to look at how far I've gotten into my work load and it can be depressing.

Slowly but surely I've been working on a manuscript. I confess that I've not written like I should have this past week. Gotten off my schedule and been more miss then hit. Otherwise my days have leveled out. Not a lot of great days but much fewer bad days. I confess I'll accept that  this time of year.

Amen!

~ Book of Kells: Holiday Gift Guide: Poetry Book Edition (even if you don't write poetry, you can read poetry)

~ Book of Kells: Holiday Gift Guide: Poetry Book Edition (even if you don't write poetry, you can read poetry)


Excellent gift ideas from Kelli Russell Agodon.  There are a couple on this list that I'm craving after her post.

Wondering

Did the dead thump of the head
to the concrete floor
so many years ago
have any repercussion

I should know of
or would I recognize
anything beyond
the usual
as unusual

Valzhyna Mort - Mid-West Poets Series

After work last night I headed to The Mixx for dinner. It was a grueling day and I had not eaten lunch. A Mixx salad sounded like just what I needed and I had a but of time to kill before heading over to Rockhurst for the Midwest Poets Series reading by Valzhyna Mort.

I've miss the last couple of MW Poet Series readings but this one I've had on my radar. I first heard about Valahyna Mort in a Poets & Writers magazine maybe three years ago or so.

Valzhyna started her reading in  Belarusian her native tongue. While not able to understand - the words had a familiarity. I too two years of Russian in high school and while I have retained little of the Russian the sounds were quite similar and I found the sharpness and the harshness of the language amazingly comforting. Her speech is soft but powerful. Her writing too shows a powerful command of language. These two components are interesting given the fact that she approached the microphone with just a bit of shyness maybe trepidation.

In Belarusian I  as in other of her poems she blends a sociopolitical landscape into her work and does it well...

"even our mothers have no idea how we were born
how we parted their legs and crawled out into a world
the way you crawl from the ruins after a bombing"

In one poem in memory of a book, I can tell you that everyone around me was hanging on to every word.

Valzhyna  is a small woman of physical proportions but her poetic voice has strength and resonance. In her book Factory of Tears there is a  line that makes me think of her...

"i'm
as thin
as your
eyelashes"

I've been in need of an Artist's date and this was reading was just what I needed.


Additional biographical information:
Valzhyna Mort - Wikipedia 

A video clip (August 2008 in Brooklyn)

Confession Tuesday - Bitch Slap Edition

Dear Readers:

It's been a week since my last confession, but today has seemed like a week. Let's begin...

I realized this morning while in route to work that I had neglected to get my Healthy Choice TV dinner out of the freezer. I decided that I would just have to go out for lunch today and that was that.  It's not really as big a deal as it sounds. I've done it many times, jut not lately. The cafeteria at the Federal Building down the way isn't bad... I mean food wise. I can usually find something to suit me, but not always the healthiest.  Once a pretty reasonable price I confess that I'm less crazy about their prices these days and this is part of the reason I've been trying to bring lunch most of the time these past few weeks.

My morning was pretty busy and I was planning originally not to eat till 1PM (that was before I forgot my lunch) but as it reached the noon hour it occurred to me that if I wait till one o'clock the cafeteria at the Fed Bldg would be shutting down. So about 12:20 as I was getting ready to leave I made the mistake of taking a call rather then letting it go to voice mail.  This call turned out to be important and I remained involved in the call till about 12:45.  Then after a rest room stop (I know, too much detail) I realized there was no point in going to the Federal Building to eat. So I dug out some grapes I had in the refrigerator and that became my lunch.

I confess that I did pretty good for not eating a real lunch. I think in large part to the fact that the rest of my day was even busier then the first half. I confess that my office upon arrival was hotter then hell. I sought some relief from facilities management (they arrived about 4:45PM) and I confess that is was good that I was so busy because I normally get really cranky when it's hot. Keeping busy helped me push through the day without inflicting heat rage upon my co-workers. I turned on a fan I have and it mostly blew hot air around.

My day might not have been quite so tedious if I had not have to keep screwing with disappearing drivers and files on my computer. I confess I was starting to take it personally until I realized this problem was impacting others in our office. By the time I was ready to go home... I confess I WAS READY TO GO HOME.

One the commute traffic on I-70 became backed up due to a wreck. I realized then that impatient Mike was along for the ride. Yes we are closer then you might imagine but I'm not at all proud of him. Hell he even gets impatient with me! So, I'm driving along and I realize the problem up ahead and while Mike is getting upset I rationalize that no matter how bad a day I'm having, I'm pretty sure whoever is in the wreck is having a worse day. I confess this is where I bitch slapped impatient Mike and told him to count his blessings.

Well, I have arrived home. This is good. I getting my confession out of the way early. This too is good. Did I  mention that  on the way home my Chiropractic office called to cancel my appointment for "trigger points" tomorrow evening due to illness?  No worry, I could be the one sick.

Best to everyone!

I Need A Cup Of Mania

The best laid plans for my day have been misplaced. So have a couple of older poems on my laptop.  I'm thinking ahead, I just wish I had started doing so before 10:00 AM. I'm convinced our cat Evie would have liked a shot at me earlier. She's a sweet thing if you just accept the fact that she is in control.

Looking to pull together some poetry to submit. It's a bit hard to believe that I've had replies to every one of my submissions I've made. I never like to be without something outstanding. I'm referring to the word like you would a check that hasn't been cashed yet not the quality of the work, but outstanding work is good too. And that word check, I suppose that could be foreign to you. It seems to be going the way of things like typewriters, carbon paper, phone booths... I could go on but then I'd just have more to explain.

My Duotrope control panel tells me that I have an acceptance ratio of 8.1% and congratulates me and says that is higher the the average of users that have submitted material to the same markets. That's also sad. (I've added the last part)

It's actually not quite that late- but it seems like it should be. Time haunts me. It always has. I was a blue baby when I was born. A preemie not a smurf.  So obviously I came out of the gate early, not exactly galloping but starting ahead of time. I never thought of it till now but you might say that I was cheating.

There is Evis, her deep meow and footsteps. She could be warning me but I'm not retreating to another room just yet.

I do need to get on with things. I can't continue with nothing under consideration. I've got to stuff to send out again and I've been looking at venues trying to decide what might be a best choice for each pieces.  It's a task I dislike but as long as I keep writing - I have to keep sending.

Stuck In Between In Gaza

In between the screeches of outgoing missals
there are explosions that shake you about.

In between apartment buildings
there is concrete rubble.

In between parents are children
hunkered down in stairwells.

In between one family is an extended one
that has no place else to go.

In between the quiet
there are screams.

In between the periods of commotion
there is the stillness that teeters

in between hope and terror
and knows not which way to fall.

Chinese Poet Li Bifeng Sentenced to 12 Years in Jail : Harriet Staff : Harriet the Blog : The Poetry Foundation

Chinese Poet Li Bifeng Sentenced to 12 Years in Jail : Harriet Staff : Harriet the Blog : The Poetry Foundation

 Sadly the Chinese record on human rights continues to be dismal.

Happy Thanksgiving

In the spirit of the day I offer my off the cuff list of things I'm thankful for:  

• Family
• Poetry friends
• Waterman fountain pen
• Coldstone Sweet Cream coffee creamer
• Black Walnut Ice-cream
• good books
• baseball
• freedom
• health care
• Starbucks
• pets
• Surprise Maples
• our President
• our service men and women
• work
• diet coke

Wishing everyone a safe and happy holiday!

AP Interview: Trethewey a 'cheerleader' for poetry

"I didn't think that it had any relevance to my life, the feelings that I endured on a day-to-day basis, until I was introduced to the right poem. And the right poem is a different poem for everyone..."



 Good Interview with Poet Laureate Natasha Trethewey.


    Click here for Interview by Associate Press

Confession Tuesday - Fruit Cake Edition

Dear readers:

It's been one week since my last confession. Oh my, another whole week.

But let's get started....

I confess that I love Fruit Cake. I may be the only person in the world who enjoys it but what the heck. Not everyone everyone uses it for door stops. One of my children once asked their mother who someone hate me who had sent me a Fruit Cake. She had to explain to some very bewildered children that their father was not being dissed

Mid November and I confess I have no clue how this happened. This has seemed like one of the fastest years. And yet, I confess that there have been some slow assed days. You physics people out there... how does that happen?

I confess this could be the month I replace my Blackberry with another phone.

I confess I need a haircut. I confess that I hope my wife reads this blog post. Cathy has cut my hair pretty much ever since we've been married.

I've got some writing to do yet tonight and that I'm pretty beat already so I confess I need to move on.

Squall

Squall - Andrew Wyeth - 1986

Gray rolling over swelling blue.

White foam cresting, dropping;

slapping the blue over and over.

The sky darkening quickly

a smokey gray, a dirty dray,

bullet gray and now charcoal.

Winds swirl my hair every which way.
My scalp actually pains under pressure.
Waves whack shoreline rocks repeatedly.

Each tide washes higher- a mist rises over me.
My face wet, my lips taste of salt. 
I lean now with the wind.

The water, darker now
seemingly has swallowed the sky;
the two joined in force- rolling in.




Michael A. Wells

The Mag

Biblio-Mat

A bookstore in Toronto has a novel idea (no pun intended). They have installed a book vending machine.  At Monkey's Paw, for $2 you can take a chance at a book vending machine which dispenses a random used book book.

According to the store owner the response has been positive. Some people feel the random selection as somewhat serendipitous. What do you think?

[source]

Good Days - Bad Days. Finding Happiness

What constitutes a good day to you? I'm not talking about a good day of writing, I'm speaking in more general terms. Of course for a writer a good writing session may well contribute to a overall positive view of your day but there are likely any number of factors that may well contribute to your view of how that day was when the sun goes down.

Late fall and winter are times when I am prone to feel blue. I'm not exactly sure that feeling blue is an automatic bad day. You see there are positive things that can happen on a day when I at a low ebb emotionally.

I have started not long ago to track my days in terms of the degree to which they are good.  I discovered an application on Chrome that I am using both to help define a good day and to track what kind of a day I had.

The application I'm speaking of can be found at illuum.com.

The rating schedule runs from 1 to 9.

• 1- The Worst. You bought the rope but couldn't be bothered to learn how to tie the knot.
• 2- Almost the Worst. You spent the day wondering if you should put your head in the oven or drown in a lake.
• 3 - A Bad Day. It rained, you spilled your coffee, you got yelled at, a dog ate your face, etc.
• 4 - Slightly Below Average. Work Sucked, but there was something good on TV.
• 5 - Average. At no time did you feel particularly happy or sad you just carried on with the routine. 
• 6 - Slightly Above Average. Generally monotonous, but maybe you had one conversation/idea/meal that made you smile.
• 7 - A Good Day. Smiles all around you. You went through your day enjoying everything you did. 
• 8 - A Great Day. Generally good, but something amazing  / memorable happened. A kiss, a party, a trip, an epiphany. 
• 9 -  Awesomeness! You bounded out of bed, had adventures, enjoyed your great relationships, ended the day exhausted and satisfied. 

There is a place to put notes as you rate each day. You could list things you did, people you interacted with, places you went, etc. These will the show up in a cloud with the size impacted by the number of reoccurrences.  It will graph your daily rating lineally and provide the frequency of bad days and good days. 

As an example my current frequencies are a good day every 2.4 days and a bad day every 8.7 days. 

I've heard people say you make your own happiness. I believe there is something to this. I've actually been surprised that I tend to score more more frequently at a rate of 6 and second is a tie between 7 and 8.   Out of  26 days rated I was happy 11 days, content 12 and sad 3. Now I know we poets are supposed the be eternally depressed so maybe I should not be broadcasting these statistics. 

It will be interesting to see how much / if this flatmates at times during the year.  By rating the day, sometimes it forces me to acknowledge that the day was not so bad. Maybe we do make our own happiness. 

Confession Tuesday Stranger than Fiction Edition

Dear Reader:

It's been one leafy lawn week since my last confession.

To the Confessional:

I confess that last week I was looking at the giant maple in our front yard, then the lawn, and thinking, not many leaves in the yard.  This morning as I left for work I looked at the lawn then the tree and thought - ah, not many leaves on the tree.

I confess that sourdough bread toasted with butter and orange marmalade seems like it was just meant to me.

I confess I'm thinking that based upon what we know thus far about the General David Petraues scandal that the e-mail between the two women sounded more  like junior high students then a threat. "I saw what you did under the table." Really?

I confess that the story of the 28 year old woman who allegedly ran over her husband because he didn't vote and Romney lost the election was just a bit on the wacko side. I confessed that if you had asked me what state this happened in there was a good chance I would have guessed correctly Arizona. If I hadn't know the woman was only 28, I might have incorrectly guessed her name was Jan.

I confess that I realized this week my books I want to read/buy list is growing exponentially.  Good news for booksellers, bad news for my budget.

I confess that some days I feel like I should be writing a "running with scissors" sort of memoir but then in the same breath I think how boring it would be.

I confess that while I was sick this past week I had weird dreams at night. One involved a modern version of a Volkswagen Westfalia bus that flew which only made me nostalgic for our Westfalia that didn't fly and sometimes wouldn't even run.

I confess that I have been working to assemble work into a poetry manuscript.  I confess I've heard one to many people ask what has taken so long. I also confess that I have started to do this in the past and it has been hampered by a variety of forms of procrastination, self-criticism, and a hint of reality.

I confess I have been using an application called illuum to track happiness and varying degrees of it. It's been fascinating to see patterns to good days and bad days plus the frequency of good days. I actually plan to blog about this in the near future.

I confess that's all for today and I barely got this done in time~

Ceremony by Louise Gluck

Over the years I've come to appreciate Louise Gluck more and more. The first time I read her she just didn't click with me. It was The Wild Iris that sold me on Gluck. It was so different from anything else of hers that I have read and I not only liked it but was impressed with depth and range of her abilities. The Wild Iris was written in something like 9 or 10 weeks and yet there was noting cheap about the writing.

Her work has grown on me and I've even revisited some of the first poems I read of hers and found for many of the a greater appreciation. Today I found one of her poems that I love. It's such a smart write. It is fresh and the whole concept of the poem is so brilliant you (or at least I) wish you had come up with it yourself.

The poem is titled Ceremony and it was published in The New York Times and originally appeared in her collection "Meadowlands" from 1996. You can read Ceremony here.

Remembering Anne Sexton belatedly

"The beautiful feeling after writing a poem is on the whole better even then after sex, and that's saying a lot"

               ~Anne Sexton

Yesterday was Anne Sexton's birthday - I've been sick and not been on my computer for two days so this is a belated remembrance. You cannot talk about those who have left their mark on American Poetry without mentioning her name. 

Confession Tuesday - Post Election Edition

Dear Reader:  I realize it's not Tuesday and have seen some people with their head in a fog this morning, I beg your dispensation at being late. Actually it's been two weeks and a day since my last confession.

I confess that I missed confession here two weeks ago because I was not in an especially confessional mood. We had just put down one of our cats of some 14 years and it was a sudden and totally unexpected event. I've never been good in dealing with the loss of a pet.

Last night I confess was all about the election. Once I was home I was pretty much zoned into returns. You have to understand my political history to understand the nature and degree to which elections are an obsession to me. During the 14 years that I served on the Democratic Committee including the time I was Chairman of the County Democratic Party I considered myself the consummate vote counter.  I elections I was excellent at projecting were needed votes were and how to turn them out.

My blog post from early yesterday indicated my last best assessment on the potential outcome of the presidential election based upon a number of varying polls, my recollection of 2008 returns and what I anticipated the turnouts would be like. Don't get me wrong I'm no Nate Silver. I'm not boy wonder, but I am better then average with such projections.

The results of my election  picks were not bad. I was under the impression that Florida would be won by Romney even as I felt the numbers there were tightening. And while I believed we would win Virginia, I started doubting myself last night. There was no need to doubt in the end.  Ohio I never really questioned and even as I watched it tighter at one point - once I was able to the the county by county returns and realized most of the Republican counties were 100%  reporting or mid to high 80's and the Cuyohoga County (Cleveland) was only reporting 30% with Obama polling 70% to 29% Romney, I figured the slow counting reflected high turnout and recalling that Obama build up a roughly 200,000 vote margin there 4 years ago, I knew in the end the lead would hold.

So yes I was feeling a little nerdy last night. I confess this but with the caveat that this is about as nerdy as I ever get.

I also confess it was fascinating how many people were overly anxious in the early going. In reality I expected that the word would not come as quickly as it did. The worst "general" election nights I have suffered through are of course 2000 but also 1968 (my very first and while I was not old enough to vote in this election I spent a sizable amount of time each evening and on weekends working in the campaign.)

But seriously, there were several people on Facebook that I felt were about to lose it by the time of 9PM poll closings. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone that messaged me during this time (there were several) but I only hope that my responses served as a calming voice of reason. It's easy to be a little calmer if you see early states going to the opponent that you never believed or counted on having in your path to victory. Meanwhile, I'm sure a more casual viewer gets a little shaky to see the other side have six or seven states called for them and your candidate just one.

I confess that more important then calling any state right is the victory.  I don't always have happy predictions. But it's twice as nice to be right and have your candidate win.

My Final Electoral Vote Predictions for 2012

2012 Presidential Election: Electoral Map: This map displays the projections of the sender and does not reflect the opinions of 270toWin.

Early  States to watch -

• Virginia - Obama turned this state blue last time and is hopeful of doing so a again but this one could be very close.
• New Hampshire - only 4 electoral votes  this state is more important to Romney then Obama - Could be close but I expect it to be Democratic in the end. 
• Florida winning this state is likely more critical for Romney then Obama An Obama win here would be very bad news for Romney. Obama can likely lose this one and still have more options to to get to 270. 
• Pennsylvania - Romney has tried to make this in play but it's probably more wishful thinking then anything.
• Iowa - Romney was hopeful of a win here and god the Des Moines Register endorsement still the polls look good for Obama. 
• South Carolina should go to Romney. A loss here spells trouble for Romney. 
• Ohio - Everyone says this is the state to watch, there could be reminders of Florida 2000 when it comes to counting votes here for several reasons I won't go into right now. If Romney wins Ohio then probably  there is an upset in the making. The should be an Obama win when all the dist settles and is counted. Whenever that may be. 

Others of interest -

• Wisconsin with 10 votes will likely go for Obama. Ryan is not likely to help  his running mate that much in his own state. Republicans thought they has a chance here early on, but the GOP awoke a sleeping giant when it took on labor here. 
• Michigan - maybe close but I expect Obama to win.
• Minnesota - I don't know why I'm talking about this state except for Romney's wishful thinking. 
• Colorado - it's all about the Latino vote. Will be a disappointing someone because both sides think they can win this one. My bet is on the side of Obama.
• Nevada - an active labor  vote should mean a win for Obama.  

There you have it -  my predictions.  I believe I only missed one state 4 years ago.  If you click on the link at the beginning you can see my electoral predictions plotted out on a map in Blue and Red.  Settle in and watch the returns with me tonight. 

Persistence and the writer

As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time. - Denis Waitley

Random words for the week

A few words that have hung with me throughout the week. Some I'd like to shake...

• provisional
• bi-partisan
• hour
• smell
• forever
• power
• deadlock
• diet
• service
• litter
• dinner
• sludge
• climate
• conversion
• management

Living Hope

"The world would rather see hope then just hear its song. And that's why statesmen have to smile.Their pearly whites mean they're still full of cheer.The game's complex, the goal's far out of reach, the outcome's still unclear - once in a while,we need a friendly, gleaming set to teeth."                            

         -Wislawa Szymboraska

I think a lot of people are looking for the real manifestation of hope right now and not just the music.  I found these words from the polish poet Wislawa Szymboraska strikingly appropriate for the week we've been through.  Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the curvature of the earth up ahead and we are traveling so fast and furious and something like hurricane Sandy comes along and we apply the breaks but it's too late.  Now everyone tries to put everything back together and the losses are so large. 

Salvaging Books From Water Damage

Did you have books that took a beating from Sandy?   Here's some expert advice about how you might salvage some of them. FIRST SAID FOR WATER DAMAGED BOOKS

Help for Victims of Hurricane Sandy

In the aftermath of the devastation created by Hurricane Sandy this week here are some reputable alternatives for offering help to those in need. These links go directly to the sites of the individual charities.

1. The Humane Society of the United States' Animal Rescue Team is assisting animals and people in the wake of Hurricane Sandy's destruction, and is prepared for ongoing disaster relief after this historic storm. Click here.
2. Catholic Charities Responds to Hurricane Sandy - Click here.
3. New York Cares - Click here

Always be cautious of scams by those posing as raising money for charities.  Best be is to deal with the an individual charity that has a reputation of assisting. Verify information before you give. 

My Giants Win the World Series - but still....

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. - Bart Giamatti

Willow Manor Ball 2012

I'm dressed - anyone know the way to Willow Manor?

The Worst Enemy to Creativity

"And By the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." - Sylvia Plath